Noo utsumi fell for akemi the day akemi comforted utsumi n drank utsumi’s drink for him at the dinner party (for context: the bosses in japan make the new employees drink a lot and it’s not polite to turn them down so utsumi felt pressured but akemi drank the drink for him) (this all happened prior to the rape).
Utsumi started hating akemi AFTER the rape and also bcuz when he saw akemi at the company the next day after it happened, akemi seemed to have forgotten all abt it n he was all happy n laughing with seaki and this felt like a stab to utsumi’s wounds.
In the process of trying to get his revenge on akemi he also started seeing akemi for who he rly is and he fell for him even more so essentially he hated+loved him at the same time.
In chap 11, utsumi thinks something along the lines of ‘the pain of betrayal, of not being chosen’ along with flashbacks of 6 years ago. and in order to forget he stole everything away from akamine, he then thinks about whether he was wrong in falling in love with akamine and wanting him to look his way, which basically implies that he fell for him prior and after the rape, cuz we see scenes of him looking at akamine and saeki talking and that would be where he feels the pain of not being chosen cuz akamine was obviously head over heels for saeki. If you get what i mean, at least that’s how i interpreted it
well yea utsumi never stopped liking akamine even after being raped, which is why i said it was a hate-love feeling
I’m really confused, did utsumi start ‘loving’ him AFTER he got raped? And that’s why he felt betrayed cuz Akamine only had eyes for saeki ?? But, why and how the hell did he get feelings after getting RAPED?? Is it some kinda trauma and he’s confusing the emotions for love?? I’m just really confused on the whole process, the story did not go how I was thinking and it really glossed over the whole rape part, which is the whole plot, it shouldve been more fleshed out