Honestly yeah he is frustrating though I still kinda like him. Kinda. I’m chalking this all up to the fact that he died young then woke up a man (with a child kind) and thought only of revenge. Plus he had a lot of trauma. And yeah this process repeats but how old is he when he first dies? Like ten I think? I don’t remember but every time he goes back it’s already almost time for him to die. So not even a year of time and it takes a couple years to train to fight the demon. So from the beginning when he his 10 add a couple years and he’s 12 next life 14 then 16 18 20 then 22 mentally at this point. Not that he shouldn’t be smart enough at this point but he is just repeating the same life over and over not learning anything especially emotionally. He’s just stuck on revenge and the fact that his life is just repeating. So he’s just reliving constant trauma at this point so it’s fair to assume he’s just not making progress mentally. This is just me coping though with the ml. Also I thought it was fair to mention that the fl has been living about 16 years while waking up at around 8? I’m not sure because I really don’t know. And has lived around seven times too. So like 64 years mentally (since that one life she died early) while the ml is around 22 mentally. So there for sure is a mental age gap and a gap in perception. Not that she doesn’t have trauma. There was that one life she just went to that island to mentally rest. She didn’t really have it put together till the last couple lives. Sorry I made this so long. I just wanted to tell you how I was coping with the lack of perception in the ml.
(With a child MIND) sorry about the mistake.
read everything from the start in one sitting and im sorry i cant get over the fact that he’s so slow witted for not realizing that the only reason that the time is turning back is bc he kept killing fl. it was so frustrating to read through his monologue.
“oh man i gotta kill this evil thing again, and maybe its bc of this girl who swallowed smthn sus the last time” like he had an inkling that she’s a factor behind the reversal of time but he proceeds to kill her for 5 more times after that. how dumb can you be?!?!! he couldve continued living life in “peace” and not get thrown back in time if he just left her alone to escape somewhere.
also killing servants bc they “protect” their master is so wild. the soldiers i understand, but damn even the maids and butlers are u being so for real? i know it shouldnt be this deep but his philosophy/ethics is so skewed. it really was frustrating me lmao. bc not once did he stop to think that theyre all there just to earn for their families, that they are actually at the mercy of the master they serve. he was all like “drain your family’s blood out of you and maybe ill let you live” but maybe about 95% of the people he killed probably have no blood relation to the family so what now dumbass you can get revenge to people who have wronged you in the worst way possible but dont rope in civilians who had no power whatsoever. were they innocent? not entirely maybe bc some took the pleasure in torturing a child but some do have circumstances (aka they might get killed or kicked out by the duke if they didnt do what they were told).
now that i think abt it, theyre kinda like trauma bonding at this point. its sad and it sucks that these children are being subjected to physical, mental, and emotional abuse/torture.
all that to say that im not really vibing with blonde boy as ml. sorry. he’s no better or worse than that black hair, red eyed boy who, by the time he was an adult, was notoriously cruel to slaves.