Jaehee...

I was rereading Chapter 11 and couldn't get it out of my mind.
The noona's dialogues saying, "I admit that you had a bit of a stupid side about you... But I liked that you listened to me well." "If I knew you were gonna end up like this, I wouldn't have broken up with you that way."

The Noona knows very well that Jaehee was raped. Considering how she's the one who helped Jaehee clean up after the rape... I don't know what she may have thought but I could tell she must've been horrified, upset, and most of all hurt for Jaehee who took the rape in a different light. I'm assuming they broke up on a note that Jaehee can't be straight anymore and he insists that's the case.
But she knows she can't dictate what Jaehee wants and what kind of life he chooses to move forward to. And the fact she feels fear the moment she saw the ML, or how she insisted that Jaehee stop his words, because she knows exactly what will happen but there's only so much she can do to interfere and help (or rather, save,) Jaehee.

Jaehee, as per the Noona, was a good listener. I think it's a social skill a lot of people lack. Jaehee's mindset is probably that the words out of his mouth are nonsense, add to his lack of self-respect he probably feels like he's someone not worth listening to. So he listens to his noonas and that bastard hyung because they have a stable job and they have their life together, unlike him. He listens to them because he knows they're having it hard keeping themselves together the way they are now. Jaehee listens because that what a lot of people want that money can't exactly buy. When he immediately changes the topic from his noona's worries to asking how his Noona's new relationship is going, it makes me think he knows people pity him. But instead of pity, he sees genuine affection, enough it probably both intoxicates him and sickens him to his stomach with guilt and shame.

Plus seeing the raws of how he lets himself get played by the janitor coworker makes my stomach sink. He's so down in the gutter, it would be better if he died but he's still living this dogshit life because he's having fun with the scraps of affection and pleasure.

Sometimes, some people just don't want to heal their childhood wounds, sometimes they just want to move forward and I think Jaehee's the kind of person who would b happier to never resolve the past and just let it go and have fun moving forward. He doesn't find it worth his time or anyone else's time to have his problems resolved, especially if he's the victim. He was a victim because of his own actions, and he knows he can't fight that back.

Considering the genre, I doubt the seme will ever sincerely like Jaehee. He's a genuine psychopath because who resorts to that kind of violent rape. He HITS people, beats them up so bad. He's terrifying. No amount of face card can excuse his behavior. The only thing human left in him is the fact he feels queasy with guilt after the rape, but he has it so easy because his victim is a self-deprecating and destructive fool.

This one time in BL where I genuinely wish the protag would restraighten himself and be with a nice Noona . It isn't a stable and growing relationship, but the fact that the Noona is happy to take care of Jaehee is, in my opinion, a pretty common and normal relationship, isn't it? A relationship doesn't have to be both bosses and career devoted individuals. If the two of them are happy being the caretaker and being the one cared, then that's fine for them. His ex noona's were happy taking care of him, he probably reminds them of puppy always wagging his tail for them. Even if his ex noonas never loved him, they still treated him like a human.