Hey, I actually can relate to u on this. If it’s okay, could I ask u what stopped u from going through with? Or more like how did that person you were with got out of that self destructive behaviour? I’ve been wanting to understand my own behaviours and why I tend want to do such things too. I’ve never spoken to anyone about it but reading your comment, I feel like I can reach out in some way.
Hey, I actually can relate to u on this. If it’s okay, could I ask u what stopped u from going through with it? Or more like how did that person you were with got u out of that self destructive behaviour? I’ve been wanting to understand my own behaviours and why I tend want to do such things too. I’ve never spoken to anyone about it but reading your comment, I feel like I can reach out in some way.
Apologies I don’t know why I sent it twice
Well, it's really complicated, what really stopped me for going to far was my ex, he really was patient with me, and I'll always love him for it, but it wasn't easy, it took a play that going wrong, to the point that I almost died, I was ok with it at the moment, but the face he had was truly awful, in that moment I knew I went too far, that's what stopped me and the patience...
The behaviors come
The behaviors come from different places, I admit that the way I grew up contributed a lot in the way I ended, because they teached me that the pain was a form of love, it didn't matter if it was given or taken (it's really fucked up, especially because I wasn't abused or something drastic or visible, it's just that I was indoctrinated into that way of thinking)... It's not easy, as I said before, I went to therapy for about a year to realize what was not okay with me...
I still like the pain, the plays, and all that, and it's okay to like it, but the limits are super important, not only yours, but also your partner... You can feel that it's not enough, but losing yourself it's not worth it...
Always remember that you are important, you have to be the most important person in your world, you are the first, second and third most important person in your life, the rest come after... Remember that someone it's going to support you and love you...
Thank you for this, for sharing with me. I never thought of myself as “important”. And like you, I was also indoctrinated to that way of thinking. That pain was a way to cope and it’s what would keep me grounded. I was .. very close to going too far too. Maybe abit more and I would have collapsed. I am considering seeking therapy too. I’m glad it helped you. I hope it’ll help me too. Once again, thank you so much for sharing with me. For once I don’t feel so alone.
You are the most important person in your world! It's ok to be selfish, it's ok to seek your own happiness, but not at the cost of hurting others. That was something that was difficult to me to understand.
I really support you, go to therapy! Remember, if you don't feel secure in the session, please change therapist, your comfort and security it's your first priority!
If you ever want to talk, this is my Instagram @wildsunrise123 (I don't have any post) no pressure!
Thank you! I’ll keep that in mind and will reach out if I do too you’re a truly wonderful human being and I hope that every day shines beautifully for you.
I feel so identified with the ML, at a point of my life I really wanted all the pain I could get, I really wanted to die, and actually try for this kind of stuff, just like him, but fortunately, the person I was with, got me out of that self destruction before it got to bad, reading this, made realize what I almost become...
It's kinda triggering, but I want to see him get the help he really need