He’s not mixing it up tho, it’s been shown that he’s been having suicidal thoughts for the last 2-3 chapters - but he’s coping by dissociating (which is why we see him think about all the things he needs to do at the hospital to take his mind off the fact that he’s trying to end his life). Also he’s drunk for this btw. I thought the author portrayed this really well ngl
Ngl forgot that he was drunk lol, but imo it's still not portrayed well at all, but that's just personal opinion
Also it's quite odd that he's choosing to kill himself now when he was sacrificing everything for his grandma, so dying now would just leave her all alone which is what he's fearing all the time (but tbf that could have been the influence of the alcohol)
That awkward moment where you mix up the hospital and the ocean （｡>‿‿<｡ ）(I can't fucking take this chapter seriously lmfao ts makes no sense )