THAT WAS AN INCHE RESTING ANALYSIS(▰˘◡˘▰)
I understand what you mean
Oh damn.
And here I am loving his every possessive moment.
His blend of possessiveness, consent, and communication is what I crave for in a seme
I guess, this'll be an instance of difference in preference.
Ehh. I love your passion for this manhwa but it's kinda tiring to see fans expecting 100% green flag ML and if they see a little bit of red, some become "omg he's the worst." And it's saddening for people to just look at the individual incidents and judging them for it and not the character as a whole. Not to mention how he's not exactly 109% mentally stable (no one is but expecting him to be great and make no mistake), and how he's been desperate to look for him. I mean the whole premise of him "hiring" Hakyung to remember his past (aka the plot) shows his desperation and it doesn't really scream green flag and mental stability.
To me he's a great ml, honestly better than most. But I get what they mean especially about being forceful and not apologizing or addressing it in the story because the author doesn't write it as something worth apologizing for. It does get tiring to see things like being forceful or sexual assault either brush away or sometimes played for laughs in yaoi. I'm not saying everything has to be peachy all the time, but dang at least acknowledge that it happened
I think part of it has to do with the MC's personality. He doesn't even dwell on it and thinks there's anything wrong because overall ML still treats him with respect. I mean true though, in real life, that's like a major red flag. I like that OP pointed it out tho. But I'm not surprised that this trope (the possessive ML) is being marketed but the toxicity is being swept under the rug. Disappointed but not surprised. At least ML is not crazy, possessive, but not crazy. Still one of the best ML I've seen and far from the category of worst.
i feel like if there's one thing that is absolute ass in this story, it's the communication with all the secrecy going on
i admit i would love to see more 100% green flag MLs but i certainly don't expect them with every new story i pick up. we're all tired for different reasons. possessiveness in yaoi tops and the disregard of consent are just such highly overused tropes that *i* get sick and tired when i see the smallest hint of it in a story...
just a lil followup: i do like possessiveness (especially in tops) TO A DEGREE but i think this ML is overshooting it too much for comfort with all his meddling. not to mention that there's a difference between making your character unreasonably possessive/aggressive (in a way that he takes what he wants, see ch 45/46) to make him seem "more attractive" and making him act like this as a direct consequence of his past "trauma". it's totally fine to be mentally unstable after going through all that shit, but until now the artist/author hasn't really shown us that this is the case for Ml. what i tried to say in the original post is that until now, it seems more like his "bad traits" are in this story to make him "hotter" since otherwise they are not being acknowledged for being bad traits. and that's really bothering me personally.
I understand where you're coming from. Honestly, I have a love-hate relationship with this trope. I guess I'm just affected with the latest chapters in the korean raws (up to chapter 70), where I can see just how deep ML's feelings are for MC so I could understand the desperation and unhealthy obsession.
a lil rant cause i need to get this out of my system (light spoilers of raws included)
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there are many things to love about this adaption, yet i feel disappointed that it just barely scratches the status of "good" for me. first of all, the art and story-telling are great. the story is told in an intriguing manner with these flashbacks and the slow reveal of everything. i love the composition of the individual panels and the carefully chosen details (wrinkles in the face, fat in the fingers being squished when holding hands, nail imprints on the skin after nervously wringing hands). a lot of time and space is spent on panels of fingers tracing skin, hands finding each other for comfort, hands gripping clothes or bed sheets in anguish, or simply lingering on quiet exchanges all without text. characters speak through their eyes and actions so vividly that words aren't needed. this is something you don't see very often in other works of this genre, and i think it's because artists are afraid to use their time and space for something that can feel so trivial. on the contrary though: it makes reading feel so much more intimate and immersive. you can tell someone is putting all their talent and love into crafting this story.
now i wouldn't be me if i didn't have at least one gripe with this story. some of it has to do with silly positions when i know the artist could have done them so much better (can look past that), backgrounds that don't fit the rest of the art style (what's new), some questionable actions of the characters (meh), MC's egghead after he cut his hair (sorry but... lol...), but unfortunately my biggest one for this adaption is the ML himself.
to preface this: i love his younger version to death. he's curteous, curious in a way that is boyish but not too pushy, and somewhat innocent. it was a joy watching him fall in love so genuinely. and even though i spent quite a lot of the later chapters frowning at his older self, seeing the flashback of his younger self throwing an arm out to protect MC and taking the brunt of the impact of the car crash, and seeing him so hurt and desparate after "jiyoung's" death that he tried to take his own life, actually fucking tore my heart out. that "my summer" may as well have pushed me metaphorically off the cliff myself.
i don't think older ML is the worst guy in yaoi exsitence. he shows that he can be considerate and genuinely nice, but he's also raised a handful red flags in this story. i'll start with the biggest flag because it burned itself into my mind so strongly that my mind keeps coming back to it on its own every now and then. it ruined a big part of their relationship progression for me. it's the chapter 45/46 altercation where ML corners MC, holds him in place until it hurts, kisses and feels him up like a man possessed (w/o consent or explanation mind you) and ends this attack with the words "you stay home, i'll go crazy if anyone so much as brushes up against you". that was a plain assault and the memory of it sticks out like a sore thumb in my brain. he had to be shoved (not the first time he had to be shoved away) to be stopped because he wouldn't listen. he never apologized for it, because (i suppose) it was never meant to be an action that warranted apologizing. the groundwork for that has been laid out in the chapters before. all throughout the post-timeskip story ML's been made out to be a little too... "possessive": he takes that stranger's business card out of MC's hand and cumples it, he says things like "if you mistake me for some other asshole one more time, i'm gonna find out how far you took it with him" / "don't let anyone touch you like that" / "i always want to know where you are and what you're doing" and the aforementioned "stay home today", he also calls MC “boyfriend” and moves them into the same room without talking about it with MC first. it's not great behavior but it's never seriously addressed. MC makes one attempt to tell ML "i'm not something that you can own" but it did literally nothing in hindsight. the way this is being handled instead (admiration of hickeys & blushing after being assaulted, ignoring the behavior completely) screams typical romanticized possessiveness/SA to me.
another scene that made me frown was the drunk "kiss me" moment that essentially lead to said altercation the next morning. ML says this to drunk MC: "i can't promise not to do anything just because you're drunk". saying this to a person that is obviously out of their mind with the only incentive being "kiss me" is insane. saying "i can't promise not to do anything" in this situation implies that he'd willingly put his own wants and needs first and make himself a criminal. and he said that BEFORE MC "consented" (as far as a drunk person can consent).
don't even let me get started on the "what else do i have to get rid of so that you'll sleep quietly next to me?" possessive and co-dependent much?
you could argue that ML's "messed up" as he says himself because of what he went through in the past, but then i'd like the story to pick up on this and ADDRESS it properly. show us that he wants to and will better himself; that he no longer tries to "own" MC and that he's truly sorry for assaulting him out of some pseudo deep-rooted fear of losing him (again). i'm just so disappointed that this ML was sooooooo very close to becoming actually GOOD and well-rounded...