If you get past the choppiness it’s fine

Culoculpa January 2, 2025 2:47 am

Im disappointed, and it has such a good premise. This story is choppy and has a horrible story writing pace that makes it jump all over the place.

It truly felt unorganized and uncoordinated, which was SUCH A SHAME since it was really cute if you could read past it. Some moments are better told than others and u get a clearer picture, but this just wasn’t it. It felt like a story being told by AI if I’m being frank.

If anyone knows of another story with a similar premise and better narrative telling I’d appreciate the recommendations.

EDIT: edited to say - I did not mean the translations, the story is just narratively bad.
And when I say that it is horribly written, I’m saying PERSONAL opinion.
“Horribly” is a strong word, but sincerely it is jumpy - as in the story is at one point and then a completely different point - and choppy - as in you missed an entire plot line. They’re trying to rush to get to their favorite points but miss so much critical info while at it.

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