BDSM rant

I found out abt BDSM from reading a bl when I was rlly young and did a dive deep on it. At the time I thought it was perfect since most bl was SO toxic and full of rape and this was a good environment bc this way you could have the bases of the whole "no, please, stop" (which Asian authors love so much) but you know.. consensual. This was rlly naive of me lmao since authors use BDSM as power up in their rape stories
Like I hate it bc since that time I seach for bdsm stories looking for healthy plays and all I find it's the most disgusting looking stories abt mafia, kidnapping, confinement etc
OR on the opposite end there's this sub genre called dom/sub verse with which I thought I finally found what I was looking for.. except author use this as a sub or dom who it's into CNC, impact play, restraint etc and then meets the ML, he "cures" him with the power of love and they ended up as the most vanilla couple in existence
Like WHY is it that bdsm is ALWAYS "bad"? It can only be used as a torture method in messed up manhwas or as smth that needs to be fix in dom/sub verse???
I literally can count on one hand all the BDSM stories with healthy dynamics that stays the same all the way up until the end of the story