yknow what, I rly needed to read this. I'll make sure to come back to this every once in awhile to remind myself.
merry Christmas!
this is amazingly said
I'm glad to hear that! It's freeing to let go of your own self image, and I think it helps immensely living life with less stress.
You see both yourself and those around you in kinder eyes - we don't really need the labels we attach to everyone, many times those are stories we create in our heads.
Merry Christmas ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶
Thank you!
I think another thing I missed, but remembered now after thinking about it more is how as teenagers we actually are trying to build a sense of self. I think it's one of the harder things about being a teenager.
You are trying to build an identity, and you just want to have one to latch to.
It's exactly that, that makes us so awkward and anxious. As a teenager I always wanted to stick to that image I had of myself in my head.
"Oh shit I acted weird", "Ugh I am so awkward", "They don't think I'm cool", "I wish I were X"
Of course we get those thoughts sometimes as adults as well, but at least for me they were more intense as a teenager.
I think we mellow as an adults because we realize that we can't always stick to that self image we built ourselves. Letting go of that self image is just the next step - we don't need a set identity because life is fluid and unexpected, and with that there is no identity that should be set in stone.
I get Shima. A lot of time we act in ways that we feel are not in accordance with who we truly are.
I think what really freed me as an adult is to realize there is not really a "true" self to me.
You can choose to act kind in some moments. You can choose to act badly. You can act brave. You can act cowardly.
You are not kind. You are not bad.
You are not brave. You are not a coward.
There is no quality you always possess. There is no constant you.
We can get hurt so many times when people see us not the way we believe we are, but we need to be reminded of a simple truth - people see us for our actions, not our intentions.
And you realize it doesn't really matter which image people build of you when you let go of the one you built for yourself - because it's also untrue in a way :)
I hope Shima will manage to see beyond the image he built for himself. It's a big cause of his suffering.
He limits himself by believing himself to be X, and gets hurt when he thinks someone doesn't love him for the "right" things.
Anyways I blabbered enough, I love Shima and wishing him the best