I have kind of same story. I am in love with my best friend. I didn't realised that I was in love with her until we went in seperate university and I started to miss her presence. We always had a very good bonding and after I realised I lived in a delusion that she my come to love me back or there would be a possibility because she used to says she used can try with girls. But now think she was just confused or denying that she my might like girls. Now she considers herself straight. But I don't know I felt those 2 years she used to drop hints like If I was a boy or she was a boys we would definitely date. ( Or my brain was trying to confirm my delusion). My dululu broke when she developed a crush on her male friend they would talk constantly and I would get jealous. Now It's almost a year since my heart broke. I still feel this pain because she was (is?) my priority and occupied my thoughts. I am starting to realise that I wasn't sure priority that much. I mean she could go on not talking to me for a month but I would constantly try to be connect with her. I am healing and trying not to think about her like soulmate or something. She is a good friend to me and I thought atleast I would like her to be happy even its not with me. It hurts but in few years atleast I want to look at this in a good light. Hopefully I would move on and heal from this in future.
I hope you know you are such a strong person and I hope that one day someone will cherish you ;)
I had this girl I was friends with, and at that time, I kinda knew that I was in love with her. When we would hang out, we were more of a couple than anything; I mean, We even kissed and cuddled; however, I never told her my feelings. I believe in god and Jesus but not in an "Americanized" Christian way, but back then, I did, and so I kept denying my love for her, and I started resenting her, and she probably knew. She then moved schools, so we no longer walked the halls together. I thought the time was slipping with her. During that time, a lot of family stuff was happening, like my dad getting sick, and I needed someone to rely on since my mom was so busy with my dad. I thought it was her. However, it was not. She was growing from what we were, yet I was just stuck in time. One day she would bring up her new friends, and I jealous to the point I went off and screamed and said hateful things to her. We no longer talk, and 3 years have passed. Maybe she was sent from god, and I was so blind to see it because of this "false" practice in my eyes. I still think about her, and even know it hurts cause I know for sure that I would want to die lying beside her. If only I didn't bottle up so many things, I wonder if we would be lovers or friends, but idk maybe it was for just a season.