im so stupid i didnt explain shit so heres an extension of my yapping:
we see both Iheons starting to differ in their approach bc current Iheon learned in his past life that him repressing his feelings for Huimin led to their end so that’s probably why he said he doesn’t want to hide anything even if it meant Huimin might hate him while novel Iheon who’s repeating the same life would rather for Huimin to not know anything scared Huimin would leave him if he learns the truth. current Iheon also confides he will hold onto someone he wants (Huimin) even if it meant breaking him, same with novel Iheon. but current Iheon is actually not doing that to Huimin while novel Iheon would have done so again if not for 21 y/o Huimin knowing what happened in Silence.
they explain it through DID but current Huimin’s and past Huimin’s (the one that committed suicide) personalities are becoming more integrated. past Huimin’s personality comes out in current Huimin through his paranoia and anxiety of something happening to novel Iheon. although it’s because Huimin knew what happens in the novel beforehand, it’s probably also because past Huimin had an unhealthy attachment to Iheon even though he was abused by him so current Huimin being clingy and anxious also probably comes from past Huimin. past Huimin’s memories also helped current Huimin in starting to realize he’s always had feelings for current Iheon by showing how different both Iheons are and making sure novel Iheon doesn’t repeat his abuse because he believes current Iheon has always been kind, he’s just a victim of circumstance (not an excuse for abuse tho). it’s still the first season so i can’t really see much overlap in both Huimin’s personalities yet but ig like Iheon it’s gonna come out little by little.
i hope novel Iheon doesn’t do something abusive like in the past. he’s kinda getting there (still not letting Huimin out alone, deleting text messages, hiding the sketchbook) but it’s a far cry from rape, violence, and confinement (tho he’s kinda doing that but it was worse in the past).
WARNING: long yapping session
this is so well-written oh my lord i wasnt expecting much since it’s an omegaverse (a lot of BL authors suck at it) but oh my god i’m so hooked. i especially love how Iheon keeps dropping cryptic messages but the more you read, the more it becomes clearer what’s happening.
i thought at first 21 y/o Huimin got switched with 30 y/o Huimin into each other’s realities but what if this is not a case of alt realities but past lives? especially when Iheon said something like “let’s live in here” i think it’s a hint that they probably went back in their past life (a reader here commented about Silence happening irl and Iheon wrote it after remembering their past which makes a lot of sense). it also makes so much sense why both Huimins and Iheons are seemingly polar opposites of each other in order to not repeat their fate from their past (Silence) life to their current (21 y/o) life (remember the psychologist’s comment that some personalities can be v different from each other). because current Iheon said something about he’d rather destroy the one he loves if it meant not letting him go (which is what happened in Silence) and novel Iheon also felt the same but was becoming more different to current Iheon in terms of values. bc current Iheon said he doesn’t want to hide the truth regardless if his love hated him in the end but novel Iheon would rather Huimin be in the dark forever (I assume Huimin not knowing the truth forever) because he might slip away again.
i still have so many questions but i think the psych’s comment about light always following darkness might be a hint on how this ends which is the two lives being integrated (probably the least painful way to end) but it can also be a hint about their doomed fate (darkness) and they’re bound to continue meeting for lifetimes on end (light trying to follow darkness) but it’s just a random dialogue in one chapter so it’s probably not the case.
oh also, this is not a good representation of DID. not a dig on the author, just in case readers think this is how DID is.
anyway, good shit. can’t wait to cry and re-read this over and over once it finishes.