sorry I feel sad about your life situations, same to me but my dad was physically, mentality abusive. he doesn't cheat (idk if he's a cheater I was young that time) He always smokes and drinks He doesn't listen to our advice. Mom is the only one who really supports/provide our family needs, she's the one I really consider our 'father and mother'. Our dad was useless to our family. But he was helpful and generous to others. People know him. But he died last Oct 2024, due to alcoholism, We don't deserve him and he doesn't deserve us. I'm feeling sad it hurts but I can't cry, Until now, we only have memories of him and we are grateful because of him and that I am here.
Man... reading this story made me also think would my mom have a better life if she hadn't gave birth to me? Sorry if this will turn into a rant lmao but I know my father is the man she really loves but my father isn't really the greatest man out there. Sure, my dad never hurt my mother or me physically but he do mentally. My father also used to be an extreme cheater which I'm glad he stopped doing that but back then he's still cheating on my mom's back even though they're already married. And also because of mom blindingly loving my dad, they eloped and had me when they're not financially stable yet and mom would sometimes say she kind of regret not fulfilling her dreams as a single woman. So like I was thinking, if I could turn back time a timeline where she didn't met my father would she have a better life without me?