I was worried this will turn out to be this “suffering and abuse just for the sake of it” stories, especially seeing people’s comments on various chapters. But it turned out to be much more complex.
It’s obvious how toxic Jiwoo was, but Eunsung was such a surprise. It seems like he would willingly subject himself to suffering (choosing specifically unavailable red flags), knowing the other person will end up getting attached, and then cut ties the moment they actually start to return his feelings. Which isn’t that rare. The thing is, it seems like the reason he would distance himself wasn’t because he wanted to break free from the toxic partner, no. He did it knowing the other person would crawl back and it will be his turn to make them suffer. It’s so morally perplexing - sure, the other person was shit, toxic partner hurt him unprovoked and they did it first. But it kinda seems like Eunsung entered those relationships to have an upper hand in the end. Like he was also planning to hurt and emotionally torture them from the beginning. You know, like taking a few first punches so he can fight back and have people perceive it as self-defense or revenge. I hope you understand what I mean? Becoming a victim first, so that later his actions are viewed as justified?
(Of course, I can be totally wrong. And in the end, if the other person, such as Jiwoo, wasn’t an asshole in the beginning, he would never be provoked to hurt them too. I hope I don’t come across as victim blaming, it’s just my interpretation of his character.)
It’s a portrayal of deeply troubled people who are frustrating to watch, of course, but they aren’t created to be villains and heroes/main characters. They are both just broken. They are confusing to healthy, less troubled people, but if you think about it, their set up makes sense? Jiwoo - obsessed with the idea of one true lover, a relationship in which people prioritize each other over anything, even their own kid, cause his parents were like that, deeming a romantic love the most important and telling him that if he wants to be happy, he should find a relationship like that. So maybe he tested his lovers to find someone like that - someone who would never abandon him and always prioritize him. And Eunsung whose parents got divorced so you can assume their relationship was hurtful/toxic but they ended up forced to get back together anyway, due to his mother’s illness. We don’t know too much about it, only that he and his brother stayed with their dad. But maybe the reason why he is filled with disgust when he starts to mistreat his lovers and they show him love and care - because he watched his dad take care of his ex-wife in her last days, despite the fact that she “abandoned” them? This one is just a theory tho.
And what I like about this story, is that it’s not romanticized at all. All of the people around them, their friends - they react the way normal people would. They worry, point out the toxic behaviors, sometimes even react to the mistreatment when the person involved doesn’t. The story doesn’t pretend to be a “dark romance” and use that tag to brush over its characters behaviors. It acknowledges that the relationship it portrays is toxic and so, it’s more of a psychological story. As soon as I realized it shouldn’t be perceived as a simple romance, I started to really enjoy it. There are lots of bl stories portraying toxic relationships but most of them pretend it’s “romantic” and the characters and their development completely ignore the way that human mind/relationships actually work Like they are created in some weird alternative reality. (rape victims falling for the perpetrators and such, pretending trauma isn’t a thing, you know what I mean). But this story doesn’t normalize or romanticize it at all, so as a reader you don’t sit there questioning the morality and sanity of the author, you can just sit back and enjoy watching the shit show.
(shit, I didn’t plan to write an essay but I just kept going, sorry lol)
I was worried this will turn out to be this “suffering and abuse just for the sake of it” stories, especially seeing people’s comments on various chapters. But it turned out to be much more complex.
It’s obvious how toxic Jiwoo was, but Eunsung was such a surprise. It seems like he would willingly subject himself to suffering (choosing specifically unavailable red flags), knowing the other person will end up getting attached, and then cut ties the moment they actually start to return his feelings. Which isn’t that rare. The thing is, it seems like the reason he would distance himself wasn’t because he wanted to break free from the toxic partner, no. He did it knowing the other person would crawl back and it will be his turn to make them suffer. It’s so morally perplexing - sure, the other person was shit, toxic partner hurt him unprovoked and they did it first. But it kinda seems like Eunsung entered those relationships to have an upper hand in the end. Like he was also planning to hurt and emotionally torture them from the beginning. You know, like taking a few first punches so he can fight back and have people perceive it as self-defense or revenge. I hope you understand what I mean? Becoming a victim first, so that later his actions are viewed as justified?
(Of course, I can be totally wrong. And in the end, if the other person, such as Jiwoo, wasn’t an asshole in the beginning, he would never be provoked to hurt them too. I hope I don’t come across as victim blaming, it’s just my interpretation of his character.)
It’s a portrayal of deeply troubled people who are frustrating to watch, of course, but they aren’t created to be villains and heroes/main characters. They are both just broken. They are confusing to healthy, less troubled people, but if you think about it, their set up makes sense? Jiwoo - obsessed with the idea of one true lover, a relationship in which people prioritize each other over anything, even their own kid, cause his parents were like that, deeming a romantic love the most important and telling him that if he wants to be happy, he should find a relationship like that. So maybe he tested his lovers to find someone like that - someone who would never abandon him and always prioritize him. And Eunsung whose parents got divorced so you can assume their relationship was hurtful/toxic but they ended up forced to get back together anyway, due to his mother’s illness. We don’t know too much about it, only that he and his brother stayed with their dad. But maybe the reason why he is filled with disgust when he starts to mistreat his lovers and they show him love and care - because he watched his dad take care of his ex-wife in her last days, despite the fact that she “abandoned” them? This one is just a theory tho.
And what I like about this story, is that it’s not romanticized at all. All of the people around them, their friends - they react the way normal people would. They worry, point out the toxic behaviors, sometimes even react to the mistreatment when the person involved doesn’t. The story doesn’t pretend to be a “dark romance” and use that tag to brush over its characters behaviors. It acknowledges that the relationship it portrays is toxic and so, it’s more of a psychological story. As soon as I realized it shouldn’t be perceived as a simple romance, I started to really enjoy it. There are lots of bl stories portraying toxic relationships but most of them pretend it’s “romantic” and the characters and their development completely ignore the way that human mind/relationships actually work Like they are created in some weird alternative reality. (rape victims falling for the perpetrators and such, pretending trauma isn’t a thing, you know what I mean). But this story doesn’t normalize or romanticize it at all, so as a reader you don’t sit there questioning the morality and sanity of the author, you can just sit back and enjoy watching the shit show.
(shit, I didn’t plan to write an essay but I just kept going, sorry lol)