Ehh they're both kinda jerks. To be fair, the mc is likely sleep deprived but it's not li...

SabishiinaQ December 11, 2024 1:32 pm

Ehh they're both kinda jerks. To be fair, the mc is likely sleep deprived but it's not like he's tried to confront his neighbor in an assertive or diplomatic way about being unable to sleep.

Also doesn't seem like he's tried any solutions (ear plugs, white noise app, etc.).

The influencer didn't handle the eventually confrontation well, but it's pretty common for people who are caught off guard by sudden, unexpected criticism to get defensive and/or to not be receptive.

When you're neighbors, especially if one or both parties knows where the other works, the best approach is typically going to be to ask your neighbor to meet to discuss the specific topic at a near point in the future that works for them.

For example, you can leave a note on their door (in an envelope so any other nosy neighbors don't see) that says something like, "Good morning! This is x from next door. If you have time this week, I'd really appreciate if we could briefly chat about a personal matter that's negatively affecting my ability to get adequate sleep. Below is a list of times that work for me. Please let me know if you'd be open to getting coffee or something (my treat), or if you'd at least be willing to chat with me for 5 minutes between both our homes/apartments. Your help would mean the world to me, thank you!"

Giving them a little bit of a heads up provides a chance for them to consider both sides and prepare a proper response instead of just getting defensive or feeling attacked.


Some studies have shown that many people are more likely to develop fondness for others who have come to them directly for help (but that may be more of an "in the workplace" type of rule rather than at home/neighbors.

Lastly, when confronting someone about a specific behavior/issue, assertive communication courses will typically teach the following narrative format:

"When you [do X behavior],
I [feel Y emotion / am impacted in Y way], and
what would help is if you would [do Z behavior]."

For example:

"When you [get rowdy with noisy partners every night], I [have a hard time sleeping/focusing/etc.] and what would help is if you could let your partners know the walls are paper thin at least on xxx days so I can at least get a full night's sleep before my hardest work shift."

But ultimately, you can't control the behavior of others so an optimal resolution would be one that you find for yourself (e.g., ear plugs, etc.).

Responses
    =)) December 11, 2024 4:12 pm

    but the neighbour was rude to the mc from the get go so i don't think it's mcs job to be niceor put up a front witgh him

    donghyuk December 11, 2024 11:34 pm

    Um he was literally rude first saying he wished his neighbor was a sexy noona instead of an ugly guy, why would I go out of my way to politely confront a guy like that? This guy seems like the type to react the same way regardless of how he confronted him

    SabishiinaQ December 12, 2024 2:01 am
    but the neighbour was rude to the mc from the get go so i don't think it's mcs job to be niceor put up a front witgh him =))

    True, the other dude is incredibly rude (seemingly without reason).

    I'm just saying the way mc finally confronted him was a less than optimal approach.

    Like if you tried to confront him in an assertive way and then he was still a jerk, that's when you start plotting (e.g., pretend to have really loud sex as soon as he starts recording one of his streams or whatever).

    SabishiinaQ December 12, 2024 2:06 am
    Um he was literally rude first saying he wished his neighbor was a sexy noona instead of an ugly guy, why would I go out of my way to politely confront a guy like that? This guy seems like the type to react the... donghyuk

    Probably but if you don't try a diplomatic approach first, then you're less justified when you inevitably start sabotaging the guy's influencer videos for revenge.

    Moving can be stressful. That first encounter may have been a one off caused by a bad day. Never lock in first impressions.

    But then if he's rude a second time, that's when you escalate (complain to management, fart into the crack under his door, pretend to be a gay lover who caught him cheating while he's boning one of his sexy noonas, etc.)

    =)) December 12, 2024 5:49 pm
    True, the other dude is incredibly rude (seemingly without reason). I'm just saying the way mc finally confronted him was a less than optimal approach.Like if you tried to confront him in an assertive way and ... SabishiinaQ

    the other guy is just an asshole and the mc has no reason to be nice to him