"so my pain didn't matter" is where he lost me. This is such a broken way of thinking and the story never gets into it any deeper than sex. It's also cringe to use impact play as a substitute for genuinely wanting to punch something. It's a trauma response to think he needs to take care of other people's feelings above his own this badly, and I know it's the intention of the author so I'm not saying it's unexpected, but it's kinda crazy that it doesn't ever get addressed even in the MC's own thoughts. Mr Han's "I regret it" speech is insincere, I would rather he was just honest that he can't offer any better and doesn't want to bc he likes that the MC is bending so much for him. I'm sure that's what the MC wants to hear anyway. That Mr Han likes him exactly this way. Some people with trauma like Seodan process it by letting their partners use them as a sex toy. Re-enacting the powerlessness and dehumanisation is like an addiction for them cz they're tryna rewire that traumatic experience into something else. So Seodan wants to hear that his partner just wants to use him exactly like he's offering
"so my pain didn't matter" is where he lost me. This is such a broken way of thinking and the story never gets into it any deeper than sex. It's also cringe to use impact play as a substitute for genuinely wanting to punch something. It's a trauma response to think he needs to take care of other people's feelings above his own this badly, and I know it's the intention of the author so I'm not saying it's unexpected, but it's kinda crazy that it doesn't ever get addressed even in the MC's own thoughts.
Mr Han's "I regret it" speech is insincere, I would rather he was just honest that he can't offer any better and doesn't want to bc he likes that the MC is bending so much for him. I'm sure that's what the MC wants to hear anyway. That Mr Han likes him exactly this way. Some people with trauma like Seodan process it by letting their partners use them as a sex toy. Re-enacting the powerlessness and dehumanisation is like an addiction for them cz they're tryna rewire that traumatic experience into something else. So Seodan wants to hear that his partner just wants to use him exactly like he's offering