Responses
Fr gurl, I feel uncomfortable reading this? something about is not giving until I read ur comment
Totally agree, the scenes are not well written at all. And her ahego faces are not expressive enough, needs better illustration. For the story, I doubted the hot guys at some points for having ulterior motives and that there might be a plot twist or toxic relationship, but turns out it's just poorly written, so yeah the writer couldn't convince us with the love part.
I don't even want to mention about the whole nightmare of a fantasy this story is, whoever wrote this is a person inexperienced and thinks the female body is a doll. Imagine being sex crazed but not even being well informed on how to do act?
First and foremost, what irritated me the most is the anal sex from chapter 10. What they did is physically dangerous because you can't just expect to a big dick to go in with no issues whatsoever in a tight hole? I'm complaining because it's the lack of knowledge that makes th scenes less enticing. It's dangerous and the prep time for anal sex is actually quite sexy, it's takes a lot of time (For most people) and it's the long sexual foreplay that makes anal sex really hot.
Second, her first time was not treated special at all. They just went in and fucked her with their dicks, with little foreplay. Not to mention they planned the whole thing, made her and her brother get drunk, stripped her naked while she was unconscious and everything about it is just wrong and written so poorly. First times should be sexily frustrating because it takes a certain amount of gentleness while containing your hunger, and that just isn't it with her. No way they're trying to write a narrative where they like her or they're head over heels over her, I've read a couple of narratives like this and the difference is that those stories actually makes you convinced those guys like rhe FL romantically besides sexually, they'll take their time and even ask for consent properly. If I were to describe this story, it's like someone was forced ro write a sex story and the person had no personal experiences themselves.