Mincheol was always like this, he just didn't show it because he had something to gain from the way his past relationship went like.Do you think abusive people are always horrible? That they never had good sides? How do you think abusive relationships survive despite the abuse? By being constantly abusive? Definitely not. People like him get to show their true selves when they get 'comfortable'. They have a good side, they have hopes and dreams but at their core they're rotten. I've been a victim to a narcissist and it only hits you after you become emotionally invested and it gets really hard to leave. You keep on having doubts like 'What if it's my fault? What if i give up now, i lose something that has the chance to be fixed?'. But trust me, these thoughts are only self destructive. People like him are only capable of loving themselves and you'll always come second. They fall in love with the 'idea' of love, not you.They fight for the sake of this idea, not you. They enjoy being 'wanted' and 'needed' and if you become irreplaceable to them, it's not because you are irreplaceable as an individual but as an obedient object that gives them a sense of self importance. If he cries from losing their relationship, he'll cry for himself, for losing what he always had. There's a thinner line which distincts selfishness and genuine love than people think. Non abusive people enjoy being needed as well BUT it's interconnected with the person they share their love with, something which makes them willing to AT LEAST feel remorse and unwillingness to treat the person they were with all these years THIS way(the way Mincheol did), even if they want to break up. They do NOT blame everything on one side and feel a basic level of compassion due to the attachment towards a 'human being' and not someone they view as an object. Either way, hope this makes sense because i tried to explain something too abstract.
Was he traumatized by the difficulties of life like mc? Yes. But, let me repeat my favorite verse: trauma is not an excuse for perpetuating harm and suffering, nor a free forgiveness card for causing emotional or physical pain to others. Trauma may help explain why someone is primed to think, feel, behave, or react in certain manners or in certain contexts. But having experienced trauma is by no means a justification for harmful behavior and no amount of trauma exempts a traumatized person from being held accountable if and when they hurt others.
This is not his 'trauma' only, this is also 'him' because he's a selfish individual. He should be held accountable and pay the consequences.
Mincheol was always like this, he just didn't show it because he had something to gain from the way his past relationship went like.Do you think abusive people are always horrible? That they never had good sides? How do you think abusive relationships survive despite the abuse? By being constantly abusive? Definitely not. People like him get to show their true selves when they get 'comfortable'. They have a good side, they have hopes and dreams but at their core they're rotten.
I've been a victim to a narcissist and it only hits you after you become emotionally invested and it gets really hard to leave. You keep on having doubts like 'What if it's my fault? What if i give up now, i lose something that has the chance to be fixed?'. But trust me, these thoughts are only self destructive. People like him are only capable of loving themselves and you'll always come second. They fall in love with the 'idea' of love, not you.They fight for the sake of this idea, not you. They enjoy being 'wanted' and 'needed' and if you become irreplaceable to them, it's not because you are irreplaceable as an individual but as an obedient object that gives them a sense of self importance. If he cries from losing their relationship, he'll cry for himself, for losing what he always had. There's a thinner line which distincts selfishness and genuine love than people think. Non abusive people enjoy being needed as well BUT it's interconnected with the person they share their love with, something which makes them willing to AT LEAST feel remorse and unwillingness to treat the person they were with all these years THIS way(the way Mincheol did), even if they want to break up. They do NOT blame everything on one side and feel a basic level of compassion due to the attachment towards a 'human being' and not someone they view as an object. Either way, hope this makes sense because i tried to explain something too abstract.
Was he traumatized by the difficulties of life like mc? Yes. But, let me repeat my favorite verse:
trauma is not an excuse for perpetuating harm and suffering, nor a free forgiveness card for causing emotional or physical pain to others. Trauma may help explain why someone is primed to think, feel, behave, or react in certain manners or in certain contexts. But having experienced trauma is by no means a justification for harmful behavior and no amount of trauma exempts a traumatized person from being held accountable if and when they hurt others.
This is not his 'trauma' only, this is also 'him' because he's a selfish individual. He should be held accountable and pay the consequences.