It was good but the ending was too forced

shiixksu November 25, 2024 10:14 pm

(prepare for a wall of text)
I actually have no qualms with how the tragedy ending played out, I think that it definitely has its own merits as opposed to one that can just be solved into a happy situation. Its quite reminiscent of the classical Shakespearean tragedies, which I think it would've been wonderful for them to stick to(like in say Requiem of The Rose King).

I instead disagree with how the good ending was presented after the tragedy.
In particular, I don't really like how Axion still remembered her after she erased her memories. I don't know, it just felt like a flow in the wrong direction compared to the pattern that everything was going in?

Its kind of presumptuous for me to just make my own ending to this, but I kind of want to share how I would've preferred it to end so I'll do that. I would've made it so that he truly did forget everything about Hillis, and she would've simply become a god by herself after meeting with the king. After travelling back in time and meeting with the king from the past, she would go on to create the new timeline with no god or powers.
During that process though, it would've been good to have a scene where she summons Axion's soul for one final time before she disappears.
I don't particularly like the love at first sight trope, however, to keep it consistent with her past lives - they seem to be fated lovers no matter of her personality. Hillis would ask him what his happiness would be - and despite him having no recollection of her existence, he would've told her that his greatest happiness was this moment, when they were together.
Axion would then ask for her greatest happiness, which she would then reply that it would be eternal slumber - that is, when she still felt emotions.
Then there would be a final offer made from Axion, if whether they could slumber for an eternity together. Hillis would ask if this would make him happy, and Axion would reply that it would be his greatest pleasure to spend an eternity with her.

The two would sleep together for thousands of years, undisturbed until her powers have all been but soaked up by the earth and distributed among nature, and there, their now ordinary souls would awaken again as new people in a peaceful era, fated to meet once again through not karma but a redeemed destiny.

The other members involved within the cycle of tragedy would be given a birth into an appropriate social standing based on their karma, where they would face hardships that would directly challenge the flaws in their behaviour from the previous life(the karma in the original ending didn't really feel right). Whether they are redeemed or not would be based on their own response to such hardships (eg. Gabriel, a spoilt girl, would be reincarnated into merchant family with a declining wealth & Christian would meet an assertive girl that he fails to take advantage of for power and gets bitch slapped back to his senses that he'd really lose her if he didn't get his shit tgt).

I really would've liked to make the good ending for this less whimsy but there are just too many unexplained factors in the world building for me to do that, so I'll just keep this romantic tone

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