Responses
coming back to say, i hate that bitch now. came to terms with what he did. makes my head hurt just thinking about him. he can go die in a dirty ditch somewhere. it was a literal insult to compare what i had with him with claudes feelings for his wife. sure i thought "i wanna kill that bitch, but i love him so much and i have such tender feelings for him" sure that part was similar in almost all regards but comparing the deplorable things he did to me to claudes ex wifey is crazy. anyway. stay safe yall
ch 20 resonates with me as someone with extremely mixed feelings about someone i both love and hate so much. he has done anything wrong, not in my eyes. but his mere existence makes me miserable. he has brought me so much comfort through the hardest times of my life. but hes a constant reminder that no one has or will ever love me like he did. and i resent him for being someone i love so much but causes me so much pain now. i hate him for isolating me from my loved ones and making me completely dependent on him, even if i did play a part in that isolation. i loved him, i needed him. and sometimes i still feel like i need him. and i dont know what to do about it.
i hate him. but i loved him. and sometimes i still feel like i love him, and i hate the part of me that still yearns for him.