I'll take this as a sign because I'm SICK of the coward toxic behaviour but I feel like this is worth it
I get that the exaggerated instances are there so that you can feel it more, to portray the toned down reality but jesus Christ I'm punching the wall at that last monologue
in all honesty hirosue gets even more annoying and unbearable at some point, but i love how in the novel he at least gets a redemption arc in which he's the one pursuing, it's satisfying to see it for ONCE.
i believe the reason why matsuoka loves him (even though he lowkey sucks, which was bluntly mentioned in the novel lol) is because he saw his loving almost overbearing side when he was crossdressing so he knows this man is greatly capable of love, he's just denying it and doesn't wanna accept it. in the novel they explore how he got to terms with that bit by bit. they also show how real the emotional damage matsuoka went through was, since his self esteem got crushed by being constantly rejected, and how hirosue is actively trying to mend that and give matsuoka the love he deserves so that his confidence can be built back up. it was so real and I'm glad they didn't gloss over the fact that hirosue's indecisiveness made matsuoka really insecure..
Do you have the link for the novel? You sold me on it
yesss here you go!
https://isolarium.wordpress.com/of-beauty/
i was mostly using a reading app to read it out loud for me while i was working or doing chores lol
have fun bestie<3
Link please
My bad, I just gave read this reply
i just finished the novel. it was so captivating and well-written to the point that i can't even be mad at the characters for their shortcomings for long. how anxiety was portrayed was so real and hit close home. THAT'S SOME REALISTIC STUFF RIGHT THERE.
ofc sometimes i got frustrated and mad about how they can't really seem to communicate (and the recurring toxic coward behavior) but i guess that's what made it realistic, it's not always butterflies and rainbows.. good stuff<3