Responses
lol I'm at chapter 47 and wow reading it now it feels somewhat the same as my mother's situation before but without any sort of abuse.
(father had a child outside, while my mom was pregnant, either way MIL is not satisfied and wanted a diff woman to be with my father )
HAHAHA gaddamn
wow i was finally able to finish this. it really was a masterpiece. the ending felt nice like i felt satisfied and not wanring more just content in how it ended. wow
as of now I just read chapter 41. and i can somewhat understand but not exactly.
I'm also pissed at the FL but maybe it's because I'm not a mother and i dont know what or how a mother's love is so i dont want to judge and hate her.
but as a child of an abused mother I'd also change back time so my mother can have a better life.
CONTEXT and it might be a trauma dump for some so others can already stop reading here it's fine:
my mother got pregnant and married an unfaithful and abusive man (physical and mental) with an equally abusive family in laws (verbal and emotional abuse) and those in laws have also spread bad rumors around town about my mother who came from a far away place so sadly no family can defend her. (divorce is still not allowed and religion is strong where I'm from, sadly)
a lot of things happened we dont live with the in laws anymore and somewhat more or less survived all of this
(the abuse of my father, the suicidal and murdering thoughts my mother, how she now somewhat clutches to religion etc. we're damaged but fortunately, or unfortunately, we're still a complete family.)
all of us siblings are now older and some have went away. but i still remember the day i learned about what my mother went thru and how it affected her and made me notice how all of this affected us kids. i felt sadness, anger and betrayal and everything mixed in between but the first thing i did was hug my mother and tell her i wish i was never born and you never met my father and maybe that would give you a better life.
she cried and told me never to say that. but in my head i really didnt mind not existing if it meant she could have a better future.
she's now more emotionally dependant to religion and her kids. i feel like a therapist rn. somewhat exhausting but i live with it. but still. if i ever had powers I'd do the same but i dont know about my mother if she'd still have the same choice of having us with our father if it did happen.
curious to ask her about it maybe tomorrow i would. it really is just something about a mother's love i can never understand