They are giving me butterflies

Honestly same
I don't know why though
I even search why
....but somehow, it ended me being asexual .... Which i think I'm not?
.... pretty sure i find a lot if people attractive

Me too half of time I always wonder what is wrong with me
And other half I don’t care and embrace my single life but seeing them I wanna fall in love

lmao same, I haven’t dated anyone in almost 5 years.. there’s absolutely no plot going on in my live but also no drama and that’s at least something positive

Agrhhh I never dated a person ╥﹏╥
Never experience the love everyone talks about ╥﹏╥
Sometimes I wonder if I’m not normal enough to feel some of the emotions

same girl

WARNING... THIS IS SUPER LONG!!!!(〜￣△￣)〜

I am 27 at that. Also single and virgin since birth. I have seriously no complaints. I am very much straight. I did go on dates and due to my hobbies I met people and had funny experiences like being dares to kiss a woman and man. I also dated really handsome men for a few weeks and made nice moments, that I feel give me some good reference material and satisfied something in me. But since then I calmed down. I dated as an experiment as I wanted to find out what I really want by actually experiencing it and not just thinking it.

I can tell you, I am glad I did and I am also glad I never dated. I am very experienced for that I am a single and a virgin. People who actually were in relationships know often less about their own self and relationships than people who talk their time and explore things properly and actively with intention.

Thanks to that I had all the energy to focus on myself. I have such a satisfying life I created. I worked and gained a lot of experience and connections and learned so much about myself and grew so much and healed so much. Nobody can ever shake me now, because I know and value myself so deeply. I laugh at people if they try, or defend myself like a best friend or mother would defend. Because I have self-worth. I didn't seek all this stuff in another person, but I found it in myself. The only place these things can be found. People who have relationships from a young age, are like addicts. They cannot be alone. Cause they feel somewhat lost alone.

One thing I learned is also how people are just very different from one another, and this was something people in native cultures etc. and other cultures knew, but the patriarchal systems drew out of people using romance and other toxic stuff. Romance was never what we now believe it to be. Theories behind it are very intriguing, but the gist of it is, that it was a form of some man of lower status making lovey lovey eyes at a woman of higher status, without being killed for the transgression, cause the woman found it charming. These people had this sort of silent courting for a bit, but it never ever became anything. They never even touched, sometimes did not even speak. Then both would marry a person of their own status and find real love there hopefully. Love and romance are not one and the same. Love is slow, deep, wide and grows based on what you put into it. You see somebody fully as they are clearer with every day and as you do your love grows for them and you both exist in tandem. You are you, they are the,, but you go on your own paths, while holding hands. You are happy, they just make you happier. It is hard, as that process can drive some stuff up you gotta work through, but for the relationship you do it and it doesn't feel like you lost something. Romance is like whiplash, you are very much in your own mind and feelings. It is comparable to a rush of drugs that make you go crazy. You get addicted to the person who made you feel this high. You don't love the person, you both are intoxicated by the feelings. These things come fast and go fast.

Some people only ever experience romance. Some people go along and experience love. Some people are not meant for either, because they are not built for it. Some are not able to be with only one person so they build a cluster relationship with consenting adults in polyamory. Humans are extremely diverse. Sometimes it is also about phases of your life and level of maturity. Especially with men, whose psyche due to patriarchy, evolves really slowly.

Look at your life. I for one had a lifelong dream I fulfilled for myself and got this year. I worked for it for 10 years. While everyone was going to uni, marrying and having kids or dating and working, I was just doing what I want in my own timeline. I do what is right for me, not what I think Is should do cause society makes you think "normal people" should fuck at a certain age, have certain types of experienced by a certain time and be at certain places in life by some imaginary deadline. People criticised me left and right for my "slow" pace in life. And now they all compliment me so much. It's hilarious. Some even became honest and told me that I actually am living a life they dreamed of having, but then they got married and had kids. A woman who was telling me I am wasting my youth and would regret not doing what she did, came and told me this after she learned I got what I worked for (without sacrificing anything. I was making sure to enjoy my life and indulge myself regularly!).

I dunno what more to say, as I wrote a whole damn essay outta nowhere, but this kinda seemed to resonate with me, as I felt confused like this when I was younger, but now I know how easy it is for me to get men. In my experiments I even dressed up differently, showed different parts of me, in the end I realised I truly give no fucks. I was blatantly and bluntly myself in my usual clothes I wear to work or uni. I got princess treatment. Like you just seriously gotta be so solid in yourself, and men will be there left and right. I just don't like what I see. I don't find it I worth it to let these men I met into my life, open up space for them, and have to consider them as part of me. I realised most of them, even the ones who were a couple year solder and more financially successful were all so damn immature. I left nice the first dates, then I started to see more of their real self behind the initial impressions, and I felt SO DRAINED. Dating men is extremely draining for women, because an immature man is like a fucking vampire. They suck your energy dry. Once I literally came home from a date and could not get out of bed cause of this one dude who seemed so perfect in every aspect, literally husband material cause he does more than bare minimum, but it was cause he DRAINED THE LIFE OUT OF ME. I had a busy week, wanted a nice chill date, but he used me to overshare stuff about an issue he had with a friend for 4 hours. It was stuff you go to a best friend or other close friends or a therapist. Not someone you got a bit to comfortable with and who you are going on a 4th date with. A mature person would have just asked for a very brief perspective. Like "If something like x (very short gist) happened to you, what would you do?" then leave it at that. Nope. This dude who many would have called a dream guy, sucked my life-force dry for 4 hours so much so I felt like I had a hangover the next day and could barely do shit.

Men are not worth it. They are not worth ruining your peace. The opportunities and chances that are open for you, now that we are more free than women who came before us and our sisters in nations who still are oppressing women. Just live your dreams. If there is a right man, he will see you shine and will come to you like you are a goddess and he is a believer who wants to support you and make you shine even more and that is his only joy in life. No other type of man is worth it. I know such couples, where she comes from work and he deep cleaned, did laundry, ironed, cooked and did groceries and everything so they can have a chill weekend like she loves every time she has a long Friday. Don't go grabbing low hanging fruit cause you feel some non existent rush to accomplish some nonexistent essential goal in life and sacrifice the fulfilment and happiness and stability you have. People do that and then get shitty relationships, trauma, or get pregnant and are stuck for life and need to pretend they are happy for their children. Like learn from our ancestors who lived hell cause of men and had not choice cause they depended on them and realise you do not in fact depend on men never did and never will, and just create your life and live it. Be the creator of your reality. I will stop here for now. I felt like doing some sorta big sis life advice thing. Maybe I miss my silly little sister I dunno. (づ￣ ³￣)づ