Just A pretty deep question guys don bite me

Money food and it's too embarrassing if i survived in attemp

Hmm i think of my future dream house me living alone with cats yes hehe keep going gurl whats for you will find you

Death is too permanent. What if I die today and my mom makes spaghetti tomorrow:). If I don't exist anymore how will I be able to experience happiness even if I don't experience it right now, death will mean I won't experience it EVER again

I check your profile to see what your reading and I came looking on your question too.

I think I need to share my personal experience because you are so thoughtful reading and commenting to my topic about Dr. Stone.

In the past, I also felt that my life has no purpose. During my high school life, I am a closet gay and thinks that every problem in my life is connected on becoming a gay guy. I want to hide it, and get anxious when people talk about gays like maybe they are talking behind my back and I want to just disappear.

But then, when pandemic hits and it is also the time where I became a college student. We only had online classes, which is why I always pondered if it was really necessary to hide the fact that I am gay when it is already obvious. Which is why I thought it is time to confess to my close classmates in the online class that I am a gay because I know there will be a time where we will all meet and I cant hide the fact that I am gay, I also want to be free and dont care with other people's perception about me.

Which is why, I got to accept my nature and look forward to more exciting things (not just looking for a gay love), but ve excited to set new goals in life after I graduated college.

I want to live peacefully by having a solo apartment or condo, so that I can move away from this toxic community and be myself.

I also want to experience doing it (cause Im still a virgin) and every gay bottom I encountered already has experienced.

I look forward also to becoming the best version of myself by living independently. I know I can do good things by being set free from my family's eye and our community.

That's what keeping my alive. Im not sure about your problem but I do hope that there will be something that you want to pursue in the future as your goal. (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Valid frfr

To be honest, when I'm finally in front of the shit I've always wanted to do (kms), I find myself afraid. Afraid of the consequences and what might happen afterwards. It's so scary to think about not waking up the next day knowing that the people you love didn't even know the problems you were dealing with. With death staring at me then and there, I always end up thinking of what might happen after. In short, I'm a fucking coward and the only thing keeping me from dying is my scaredy-cat ass.

Don't know, just going with the flow ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

Living? Happiness keeps me living. By happiness, I meant like eating a cheap favorite food of mine when I craves it, or be able to scroll on Pinterest app and be satisfied with the photos there or even share memes on Twitter and Facebook.

It doesn't have to be expensive, or extravagant. It just have to be something you enjoy or something that makes you laugh or feel at peace.

Oof i guess I'm the one embarrassed doin it yet failed,no one knew though puhahaha...and yer if u like fail and got exposed what you did,worse than death hmghhhh ╥﹏╥

Ohmyyy being a butler would ve nice,no datin,jus dusting cat poops huehue(▰˘◡˘▰)

Hmmm so it's abt experience,like u cannot do anything u want when u die..hmm i seeeΣ( ￣□￣||)

Wait what noooo my reading list was a mess lmao....might think of me as an horny ass but i swear i don do any of those(to make myself ahem clear)Σ( ￣□￣||).... it's just i keep loosing my acc with lotsa pinned manhwas and I'm looking for new genres to read and stuck on hardcore stuff..cause i find them intriguing by their emotions(wait why do i feel like i get caught lol)...

Well um anyways ahem thank you for ur respond and appreciation of that long blabbing of mine^^/

And abt the heartfelt story u sgared, I'm glad u overcome ur fear and still continued living on ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶....and yesss go pop that cherry with the good guy u deserve(it depends if it's like one. Night stand or commited to a one partner hehe(⌒▽⌒))

And as for the goal i have...hm I do though it's like i was forced to do it since i really got no goal what to do with my life and err i was like a person that many ppl around expect me a lot so it's like I'm jus living for the sakes of their expectations in me(this was in the past but when i overcome that problem I still cannot bear to be careful what ppl see into me)...as for now that goal would be the thing I'm pursuing now and umm...yeah I'm still gonna look for it..thank youヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

Hmm yeah me too, it's like we imagined countless ways to die peacefully yet anything is a horror in killing urself....thinking it like u commited a murder but with ur own self,like who's to be blamed for?,like what do ourselves deserve to die? What's worse not other's hand but ur ownself...but still fear in the end what stops us...i understand ur explanation,well received (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Hmm hmm i see,might be ineffective to me cause i find it boring but thankyou(๑•ㅂ•)و✧

Hooo yeppp i do this nowadays,like looking for a certain thing or situation i could ve happy/relate too,thanks for ur responseヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

I struggled with depression and suicide ideation for many years. It took a long time for me to learn: death will come anyways.

It's inevitable. But tomorrow and the day after and next week and some time farther down the road, can bring anything. Circumstances can change in an instant. For the good or bad. You never know.

The only thing guaranteed in life is death.
Why accept it before knowing what tomorrow can bring?

I may still struggle with finding worth in myself at times, but now I have a child and a cat that depend on me to give them the long and happy lives they deserve.

And on a lighter note, sometimes when I'm struggling with a bad day, I tell myself I can't die with an empty stomach especially if I have food in the fridge. What a waste!

And I want to write a book someday! I don't know if I will ever do it, but I might!

And FOMO! Maybe something cool will happen right after I die! Like a new invention or discovery or aliens. Who knows??

And so those are some things that keep me going.

I'm not sure what heavy problems are dragging you down, but hopefully they will get lighter in time.

my reading list are a lot more mess
Dont worry.

Anyways keep fighting and Im hoping for all of our genuine good happiness ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶