Sorry if this was TMI. I don’t usually tell anyone this thought process.
You're the only one who can choose, and the only one who will prioritize your own happiness and well-being. If you do reach out, try to work with a therapist or at least research common tactics used by abusive people so you know when to bail out of a communication attempt.
They are the people who hurt you, it's their fault, so please try to avoid victim blaming yourself.
HEY! don’t feel guilty for putting your health FIRST!!! also these mangas make it seem so easy cause one or both parties usually go through some sort of change for the better and WANT to reconnect! As harsh as this sounds YOU might have changed for the better but your father might still be the same person so please don’t let them hurt you again don’t blame yourself
Ngl being able to even just speak to your parents who you’ve cut out of your life is extremely hard. It’s been nearly a year since I’ve talked to my dad. But whenever I see these kind of scenarios, where either the parent or child reaches out to the other, it makes me think whether I should try reconnecting. But another side of me thinks that when a parent has hurt their child to the point that they don’t want to talk to them, you should never talk to them again. But then I get soft again when I think about them dying and never trying to reconnect again. But again as the same time I don’t want to get hurt again…. *sigh* (◞‸◟)