It’s not just about him being physically powerful, if you read the same thing we all did, then you’d see how conflicted he was because he loves him, just because he might be able to physically fight back, and didn’t, doesn’t make what Shahid did right/consensual. You can love people and still hate what they do to you. Saying that he could have stopped him if he didn’t like it, implies what he did was consensual when it wasn’t. He literally said he hated it, he also told him multiple times to stop while it was happening. He mentions to Kinard that he doesn’t want him (Shahid) to get hurt despite being pretty aggressively SA’d and tied up literally moments before. His love for him is clouding his judgment and making him unable to hate him for it.
The main storyline is also about mental abuse if you didn’t pick that up, amongst other things, Alvin was being manipulated so that he would be physically powerless, through conditioning from that disgusting doctor, ya know…mentally.
The “layers and complexity” you like is SA and manipulation. I initially thought he was so drugged out of his mind that he didn’t realise he had SA’d him, but then it was revealed that he knew he did, just not how “far”, yet since the moment he is introduced in the story, he’s been forcefully trying to kiss him and get into his bed. So straight up SAing, he knows what he’s doing because he’s under the impression that Yexing is in love with Kinard, so he’s aware what he feels is not mutual, therefore, not consensual. He has also been told verbally and threatened to not do these things by Yexing, yet he continued to do it!
Yexing may have also wanted to be intimate with him but that doesn’t mean he wanted the forceful kisses and Shahid trying to sleep with him, at that time and in that capacity. He wanted those things out of an established relationship.
After SAing him the first time, instead of really owning up to it and apologising properly, he took the easy way out, and played along like it didn’t happen, he also sat over his victim alone in a room while he slept (which should have made him very uncomfortable but well, that’s what happens when you love people), shows that he wasn’t all that remorseful, or that he understood that what he did was wrong. Even when he fully remembers what he did, I think he brushed over it way too easily.
Sorry if it sounds really aggressive, it’s not personal. I’m just a lil heated
No cause like same. You took the words right out of my mouth and explained it better than I could.
Oh, I got that, don’t worry. But I think the story isn’t just about the mental abuse—it’s about so much more. Sure, there’s messed-up stuff happeinng, but there’s a lot more going on beneath the surface. For me, it’s about more than just abuse—it’s about trauma, emotional conflict, and the complicated nature of relationships. Shahid’s character is a lot more than just manipulative or predatory. While his actions, esp the non-consensual ones, are wrong and inexcusable, they come from his unresolved trauma and the toxic environment he grew up in. That doesn’t make what he did okay, but it helps explain why he acts the way he does. Honestly, I love how complex Shahid is because I’m really curious to see how he ‘redeems’ himself and deals with his trauma—aside from the political stuff. It really adds depth, and I’m excited to see where it goes.
As for Yexing, his conflicted feelings show that their relationship isn’t as black-and-white. Love and pain often go hand in hand, and ignoring that makes their connection feel way too ‘one-dimensional’. Their dynamic is messy, but that’s what makes it feel ‘real’.
I totally get that this story might be triggering for people who’ve been through something similar, and that’s completely valid. But let’s not forget—it’s fiction. These characters are part of a story that explores deep emotions and relationships, not meant to be an exact reflection of real life.
Honestly, I just love reading all the different perspectives here. I come here sometimes just to check out the comments because they help me see things from other pov. It’s nice to see different opinions, as long as they make sense and are respectful.
Also, I’ve learned to separate my ‘real-world’ feelings from my ‘fictional feelings’ when reading this kind of story. (if you know what I mean) I hope this conveys my thoughts properly—English isn’t my first language. :)
*** I’ve learned to separate my ‘real-world’ feelings from my ‘fictional feelings’ when reading this kind of story.
*if that makes sense* T.T
Why do people act like Yexing is a weakling?
He could easily overpower Shahid if he wanted to. Shahid might be bigger, but Yexing has more experience and better techniques in fighting. If he didn't want to put up with anything Shahid does to him, he could just beat the hell out of him.
I understand that Shahid’s character might not appeal to everyone, but I’m drawn to how layered and complex he is. His past, filled with pain and unresolved trauma, makes him a deeply flawed yet fascinating character. He’s carrying emotional scars that shape his actions and relationships.I’m excited to know more about his past and I’m glad that despite his struggles, he’s found a connection with Yexing.