She’s strong and smart

I'm not defending the guy because I fr believe the dragon should follow after her back for 10+ years AT LEAST, unable to even kiss her foot again.

That said, I don't agree with one part of your assessment. I don't think he told her to kill herself. I fully believe he was horrid to her but he would have zero reason to tell her to. Instead, I'm pretty sure it'll be revealed that someone bribed someone else to make it seem like he did. Doesn't excuse anything and I really hope the reveal doesn't handwave everything else he's done but I have high hopes it won't. I want the angst of him proving himself innocent in one regard and thinking that might absolve him and her shutting that down once again. Too little, too late. In reality, it doesn't matter if he didn't do it because he'd already broken her down so much that she wouldn't question if he did. I need a reveal where he realizes that she fully believes that he thought he was better off with her dead. That would mess with his head so much and that's very necessary, for him to realize exactly how far he pushed her, because he 1000% doesn't understand it yet.

And yes, he said he "caused her death" but I don't take that as an admittance that he requested she die. He is responsible for her wanting to die because of his past and fully owns that. He blames himself for her killing herself four times before trying to drown in the lake. He knows he fucked up. Still don't forgive him but I like nuanced angst like this. Also, I'm happy they don't drag things out, like the lie he told her about turning back time. It was revealed a few chapters later and she slapped him, as he deserved. All in all, he's still guilty of a whole lot of stuff, even if I personally don't believe he did that.