Responses
wow just wanted to say this was an incredible analysis
Thank you. I can't help analyzing this one shot bc it's so compact. Why would the author waste space if there wasn't any sort of meaning? Likewise, why say that about beholders in the afterword if it wasn't related?
The story is short but rich because there's so much to read between the lines.
Until the end, Tarou probably resented the jewel. Bc it symbolized Tomoya's godhood and impending death. He said that when Tomoya sticks to him, it presses against him and it hurts. Which means that although they were the closest, Tomoya's jewel/godhood hurt him. This is also why he wanted to kill "god" so he could keep the human Tomoya and not let him die. That's why he couldn't look at the jewel, despite being sparkly. For Tarou, the jewel meant the end.
But when Tomoya was gone Tarou couldn't give up the jewel, since it was Tomoya's. The number thing that reminded Tarou of Tomoya's godhood is also the only thing he left behind.
If the jewel reminded Tarou of Tomoya's godhood before, then now it reminds Tarou that Tomoya was once human too. That Tomoya was his childhood friend. His classmate. His lover.
In the afterword, it says that beholders are the ones that forgive and accept god, but constantly forgiving and being forgiving is tiring. When Tomoya was alive, Tarou had to always forgive him for being god (aka leaving him one day). When Tomoya was gone, Tarou stopped being a beholder. He could be selfish. He no longer had to forgive. He could pray to god, accept the jewel, and ask for forgiveness in return, because there is a god now. Tarou accepted Tomoya as a god on the day he became god and never a day before that.