I don’t understand why people are blaming Madelyn for any of the issues from their relationship. Madelyn was a bit naive and inexperienced, but all of their issues could have been avoided if Ian had just done the bare minimum to communicate with her. Ian ignored and was cold to her for years with little explanation or communication. What was she supposed to think? Their relationship only improved because she took the initiative to really go the extra mile to try to interact with him. He does say very gruff and cold things repeatedly. Is she supposed to be a magical genius who can tell that he actually cares when he does not confirm it through his words or actions. When he makes kind gestures like finding Cory or sharing the books she does begin to realize that he cares about her. The issue is not that she misunderstands, but that he doesn’t give proper indicators of his affection. He basically kept her locked up for years and barely spoke to her. Of course she would think he disliked her. It’s true that she didn’t understand his trauma, but she was a previously sheltered lady, people know less about mental illness in that time period, and even if it was well known, how would she be able to understand what he’s going through if he spends most of his time declining to interact with her. She tried many times to “be a good wife” and support her husband, and try to get to know him. It takes two to have a relationship, and Ian never wanted to participate. He ignored her for literally years whenever she tried to start a conversation or get to know him. How is that her fault? She absolutely did try to help her father. She forced him not to invest in the doomed wine business and tried to curtail his reckless spending, but he kept spending anyway. He invested recklessly in another doomed trade venture behind her back. What more was she supposed to do? It’s clear that her father lacks the financial sense to maintain or grow his wealth, and he does not listen to her advice or acknowledge his problems. She bailed him out once with her knowledge of the future, but he just ended up in the same position with a different foolish investment. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it be more reflective and not to make shitty investments On top of that, his plan to recover was basically to sell her off without a care in the world. He was selfish in his first life for killing herself and leaving her completely alone, destitute, and vulnerable, and he’s the same in this life for trying to leverage her marriage to bail out his own incompetence. Then when she refused to be sold he abandoned her, and then showed up to leech off of her when he thought she still had a chance with Ian. Why would she give any more help to someone who willfully refuses to acknowledge their failings and views her as nothing more as an asset to sell off when the times get rough? She does try to plan for the future, she just doesn’t have a lot of options. She’s a noblewoman who was very sheltered, then basically imprisoned in her first life. She really doesn’t have any marketable skills or experience. She tries to educate herself, but she’s playing catch-up in a big way. She also has no money left for other education, but she makes it work by becoming a nurse. It was probably the best course of action. Since they’re so needed, every institution is desperate to train and employ more nurses during wartime. Once the war ended she would have sufficient training to either get a full time nursing job or get into a more thorough training program. She is definitely hung up on the relationship, but it’s really just that she’s an excessively empathetic person. If she had ever actually hated him, she wouldn’t have tried to save everyone in his life. She prevented Isabel from making a reckless decision that would lead to her death, which prevented Eric from going onto the frontline where he would have died. She never actually wanted to leave him, she just wanted to have a good relationship with Ian, and that carried over into her second life. She’s just tries to warn people about the terrible things that happened to them in her first life.
I don’t understand why people are blaming Madelyn for any of the issues from their relationship. Madelyn was a bit naive and inexperienced, but all of their issues could have been avoided if Ian had just done the bare minimum to communicate with her.
Ian ignored and was cold to her for years with little explanation or communication. What was she supposed to think? Their relationship only improved because she took the initiative to really go the extra mile to try to interact with him. He does say very gruff and cold things repeatedly. Is she supposed to be a magical genius who can tell that he actually cares when he does not confirm it through his words or actions. When he makes kind gestures like finding Cory or sharing the books she does begin to realize that he cares about her. The issue is not that she misunderstands, but that he doesn’t give proper indicators of his affection. He basically kept her locked up for years and barely spoke to her. Of course she would think he disliked her.
It’s true that she didn’t understand his trauma, but she was a previously sheltered lady, people know less about mental illness in that time period, and even if it was well known, how would she be able to understand what he’s going through if he spends most of his time declining to interact with her. She tried many times to “be a good wife” and support her husband, and try to get to know him. It takes two to have a relationship, and Ian never wanted to participate. He ignored her for literally years whenever she tried to start a conversation or get to know him. How is that her fault?
She absolutely did try to help her father. She forced him not to invest in the doomed wine business and tried to curtail his reckless spending, but he kept spending anyway. He invested recklessly in another doomed trade venture behind her back. What more was she supposed to do? It’s clear that her father lacks the financial sense to maintain or grow his wealth, and he does not listen to her advice or acknowledge his problems. She bailed him out once with her knowledge of the future, but he just ended up in the same position with a different foolish investment. You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t force it be more reflective and not to make shitty investments
On top of that, his plan to recover was basically to sell her off without a care in the world. He was selfish in his first life for killing herself and leaving her completely alone, destitute, and vulnerable, and he’s the same in this life for trying to leverage her marriage to bail out his own incompetence. Then when she refused to be sold he abandoned her, and then showed up to leech off of her when he thought she still had a chance with Ian. Why would she give any more help to someone who willfully refuses to acknowledge their failings and views her as nothing more as an asset to sell off when the times get rough?
She does try to plan for the future, she just doesn’t have a lot of options. She’s a noblewoman who was very sheltered, then basically imprisoned in her first life. She really doesn’t have any marketable skills or experience. She tries to educate herself, but she’s playing catch-up in a big way. She also has no money left for other education, but she makes it work by becoming a nurse. It was probably the best course of action. Since they’re so needed, every institution is desperate to train and employ more nurses during wartime. Once the war ended she would have sufficient training to either get a full time nursing job or get into a more thorough training program.
She is definitely hung up on the relationship, but it’s really just that she’s an excessively empathetic person. If she had ever actually hated him, she wouldn’t have tried to save everyone in his life. She prevented Isabel from making a reckless decision that would lead to her death, which prevented Eric from going onto the frontline where he would have died. She never actually wanted to leave him, she just wanted to have a good relationship with Ian, and that carried over into her second life. She’s just tries to warn people about the terrible things that happened to them in her first life.