appreciate this take alot!
This is coming from someone who had to be slapped in the face metaphorically a lot to face what I'm doing and what I'm reaching. Sometimes you get so lost in your own misery you forget your misery is also the business of the people you choose to let into your life wether you like it or not, and if Inwoo wanted his misery only to himself then he wouldn't have dated Jiho after what happened with his ex wife. The last bit of ch.75 when Jiho remembers how Inwoo must've felt understood when he mentioned he also has stuff that feel hard to do when it's easy to others, that coupled with inner dialogue Inwoo had throughout the manhwa, shows that Inwoo found comfort in Jiho being scared of his own demons like him. He felt comfort and camaraderie that Jiho also relied on him, isolated like him, scared like him, and unstable. That he's not alone, and for that reason Jiho must understand him. This is why the first thing he lashed out with now is "just because you managed to overcome your own problems doesn't mean I have to!" And it shows how it affected him to know Jiho is getting better. In a way it's like leaving him behind.
Do you understand what kind of a sick mentality this is? And I'm not saying that to hate on Inwoo, in fact I relate to him the most. But it's to truly make you see how he's SICK and needs HELP and this help you think he should get, aka the help he wants, is for Jiho to also be isolated with him. That's not what he needs, it's what he wants, and it's very wrong.
What he needs is to be pushed out of his comfort zone and face reality. He needs to actually TRY to get better instead of crying woe is me all the time and demand you wipe his tears or cry with him. He needs to take actual steps. God forbid someone does this, now they're the bad guy.
finally someone said this!! I've been so confused to see many people just blame jiho without understanding the reason why jiho did what he did
Fr finally someone who doesn't just mindlessly hates jiho but actually understands the intent behind his actions
I don't agree about jiho understood inwoo. He clearly doesn't. Inwoo said he doesn't want to have anything to do with his mother, so why force him to? Inwoo is her victim, yet jiho can't comprehend and still thinking that it's better for inwoo to forgive her??
We can't even compare jiho and inwoo demons, since inwoo as a child almost got killed because if it ffs. And here jiho trying to brush inwoo trauma off just because he want to make inwoo "normal" as soon as possible.
And wasn't their relationship and inwoo mental state is getting better before they met his mother? People doesn't always need to face their demon to get happy. Especially forced to.
True...
I see your point, but Jiho didn't compare demons or compare traumas, and Jiho doesn't want Inwoo to forgive her he just wanted him to hear her out. What Inwoo responds with is up to him, but to have had at least taken that step.
I am not saying that this is the /best/ course of action for Inwoo, but as it currently stands it's probably the only one that Jiho can think of.
"And here jiho trying to brush inwoo trauma off just because he want to make inwoo "normal" as soon as possible." It's not for selfish desires as you so put it. It's not like Jiho is the one benefiting if Inwoo gets better. He wants Inwoo to get better. You wording it like that makes it seem like Jiho wants Inwoo to fit into the mold of normality he believes is correct when that isn't the case since Jiho loved and dated Inwoo the way he was.
"And wasn't their relationship and inwoo mental state is getting better before they met his mother?" If you have ptsd and I distract you with something you enjoy and makes you happy so you forget about your ptsd and not resolve it, then you are forced to be reminded of the ptsd because something pops up so you end up breaking down then you never got better, you only made yourself believe you're getting better by brushing up leaves and dirt to hide the trauma. Inwoo was not getting better, he was just happily distracted with a relationship but rule no.1 getting into relationships doesn't cure people. Being told that you're loved doesn't cure people. Being hugged and coddled and given happy things doesn't cure people. Being told that you are right to hate your abuser doesn't cure people. The person must come to terms with things in their head to finally move on, and that's what I mean by facing demons. It doesn't have to be literal.
In this case, though, Jiho cannot dictate how Inwoo thinks, and he's not a therapist to help with the mental resolve. And more importantly he's not stable enough of a person to attempt so. He tried what he could and found best at the time which was facing demons in a literal sense even if after hearing his mother he gets to lash out at her and yell and curse her for doing this had he deemed her excuses invalid. That doesn't mean he'll instantly get better after meeting her, but it'll be a start they can go from to heal instead of Inwoo conveniently brushing up dirt and leaves over it, ignoring its existence.
Stop putting Jiho on a stake and trying to dictate what "rational" or "right" thing Jiho could've done when Jiho is mentally unstable as well and not rational, and that right or wrong is very subjective in these cases. Jiho did what he could because he loves Inwoo, and one day Inwoo will understand that and be thankful cause who knows maybe this is the very uncomfortable push he needed to actually start to heal.
You can recognize that Jiho's intentions are good, or at least that he's doing what he thinks is best, and also see that what he did was extremely harmful and only based on his limited perspective. Even mental health professionals acknowledge healing from trauma is hard and Jiho thinks he can fix things just by making Inwoo meet his mom? Also it's pretty well known that even if someone does confront their trauma to heal, it has to be done with their consent and in a controlled environment, not as an ambush. Inwoo is allowed to have boundaries and to ask his partner to respect them. Jiho is allowed to want to help his partner heal but the way he went about it just added on to Inwoo's trauma and made him feel like he's lost the only support he had. Having good intentions doesn't preclude or absolve someone from causing harm; being flawed or in recovery doesn't mean you shouldn't be held accountable for your actions.
You're correct and again I never said Jiho is right, I'm speaking of his perspective. And in hus perspective he needed to do something and he couldn't figure out what that something is. People are bashing Jiho like he's intentionally harming Inwoo, saying he's undeserving of him, when this perpetuates the intention to awareness of being an ass on purpose. He isn't, he is trying his best and he fumbled and thought facing his.mother would solve this. Who knows maybe it will despite the crude way it was done, maybe Inwoo just needed a little prepping to this and consent to it, but facing would still help. Maybe it won't. But holding Jiho at the stake like he's a monster undeserving of love or being by Inwoo's side when all he did was in hopes to get the man he loves to be better is just... entitled tbh. No one has ever been in his place, and if they were they would understand why he did it and that it's not exactly right but humane in it's faultiness instead of blindly hating him.
I never said that jiho is the one who compared their problems. I said we.
Also, it's not just any ptsd. His mother abandoned him with an abuser. Her decision almost killed him. What part of it that makes you think that it would be better to hear her reasons? What kind of reason jiho and you expect to hear that can somehow elevate the trauma that inwoo had? Why should inwoo, as a victim, had to hear her out? Why should a vuctim forgave people who hurt them?? We are human being with feelings, not some kind of a robot that can be proggrammed to not hating or feeling angry on something.
There's a lot of ways to ease the trauma, and one of the important part of it is that the victim themself is comfortable while doing it. Not by forcing it on them.
I get that the first time jiho might not grasped the situation yet, but to do it the second time??? Wth?
Now that he forced met his demons, did he looks better? Did anything improved at all? It's only makes thing harder for them both. And as jiho said at the end, he regretted that he dont understand inwoo and did something that hurt him instead.
Even jiho got it that what he did is wrong.
I see we're both talking about different points so there's no use explaining further, but to make it short anyway: I'm not saying what Jiho did is right, I'm saying it's what he thought was best atm and we can't dictate whether it's what's best for Inwoo's condition or not. What we can agree on is that it hurt him which is understandable, but there's no need to have Jiho on a stake as a bastard who doesn't deserve Inwoo just because he did what he thought was best to save someone he can see slowly dying. If he realizes his approach to solving the issue was hurtful then good for him, that means he's maturing, and I can't say the same about the people in the comments hating him.
I've been dreading each chapter update mostly for the comments that will ensue and yet I end up scrolling down anyway...
A lot of you are scandalized for Inwoo's sake, and I get that, but I feel like a lot of you are that hurt and angry in his stead because you might be in his position too, lashing out at the possibility of someone making you face your demons rather than cheer you on while you run fast from them.
Also a lot of you forget Jiho isn't exactly a stable person either, and just because he finally faced his own demons doesn't mean he's now a healthy human being.
That being said, the reason Jiho was able to overcome his problems and mental issues (which aren't even fully solved imo) is because Inwoo pushed him and gave him that nudge. Not everyone needs support in the same way. Some may need it in delicate gentle forms, others need a harsher approach. Some may need it in form of words, others may need it in actions. Jiho had to face the possibility of losing what he loved for him ro decide facing the demons is way better than living all his life regretting not doing so.
Jiho has been supportive to Inwoo all along. He understood him, stood by him, and defended him to other people who did not understand his position and only seen things in pity of his ex, which was unfair. Y'all speak of Jiho like he's some loser who Inwoo somehow managed to let into his life like Inwoo is a poor judge of character or smth. It's like Inwoo is allowed to be unstable and gloomy and downright cause someone distress over seeing him deteriorate and be traumatized, but Jiho having cagey responses and fear of shame due to family trauma???? How DARE he. He is bad for Inwoo. Wow aren't y'all so righteous?
It's very distressing to see someone slowly die before your eyes and not be able to do anything. He can't even be depressed or affected by it otherwise he'll be repeating what his ex wife did and that won't solve anything. He's not given space to breakdown over watching Inwoo's spirit leave his body slowly. He tried being gentle, talking to him about it, slowly nudging him. It didn't work, obviously, so it reached a point where forcefully pushing him out of his comfort zone and putting him in front of the door to the room where his demons lay is the only way. He's not dictating what Inwoo should say to his mother or treat her as or forgive her, he just wants him to GO into the room and face her so he can break that cycle and have any development instead of wasting away.
It's uncomfortable, yes. It's cruel. It's betrayal. But one day Inwoo will realize that was the best thing someone has ever done to him, risking their relationship and risking being hated just to see the person they love be human again. Y'all keep hating on Jiho like he's so dumbass monster but Jiho knew he'll hate him for it yet still did it because in his mind there was no other way. And please don't pull the "take him to therapy" card. 1- you think inwoo wouldn't have reacted the same way had Jiho suggested that? 2- a therapist would've also recommend Inwoo meet up with his mother had he told them what Jiho is trying
If you don't have adequate empathy and legitimate professional takes on how to deal with a mentally ill partner and think the best thing to do is coddle them in their decline and deterioration and tell them you love them even if they become nothing but a walking corpse or they're still lovely to u even if they stay in bed all day refuse to eat or shower or see the sun, that you won't force them to get up when the nice way isn't working, then please for the love of god do not be with mentally ill people they deserve better than this. If coddling and cooing and "aww I understand you baby it's okay you're nice the way u are" is a cure I suppose therapists would've been out of jobs wouldn't they? Smfh