spoilers
i think that j probably didn't truly love m. the author is making it very clear that this whole story is just a cycle, which continues with m looking for someone to obsess over him so he can commit suicide too. so it is likely j felt the same way towards m. perhaps he only ever saw m as an opportunity. who knows. but i like to believe that j held a slight bit of affection for m even if it wasn't romantic in any capacity.
Me too..
I think J definitely felt fondness for all the young demons he fostered. I think J loved M in the sense that he understood M. J said he had wanted to control his own death, and was able to by saying M's name.
That’s something I didn’t caught up on, love this observation!!
I am now wondering if J ever loved M at all.. or he was on,y seeking release.. and maybe that was what happened with W too? He used J to be release from this life or something