I don't remember which chapter that was in
but I think he means that he doesn't have any good memories of it...
he didn't do it because he really wanted ..
first that old bastred when hawon was 16 he used his body as he wanted and then left him alone and the rest was for money...
So the results are always bad reminding him that he was left alone after being exploited or that he sold himself for money and both of these things hurt him ..
No ..
Even when uke broke the contract and ran away for 6 monthes , ...
his assistant arranged for him to sleep with people but he didn't, he was only thinking about uke..
Big spoiler
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on the other hand unfortunately soon we will see a scene of uke with another person or rather rape ( ml's cousin aeil), and ML will watch the video that was recorded by that bastred
Can someone explain what Ml meant when he said “it never turns out well when I sleep with someone”