Looking for this BL manhwa about mc who has memory about his last live

My memory of this manhwa is kind of fuzzy, but I remember the mc either having red hair I believe and the ml having blonde hair? And they’re currently set in the old time & the ml is part of a group (he the leader). Ml in the past life or past was very possessive and he violated him. And mc in one of the scene they were eating, and I guess mc saw him or ml like touch him, he started having flashback of him. And got sick and past out where the ml met him in the room and was confused but then I remember in the end his hair for some reason change color.

Also I don’t know if this was part of the manhwa too but in the past life mc had to strip his clothes in front of the ml in his room or office area & he like fuck him. (R word him)

Anyway yeah that all I can remember, it was a manhwa and like the author discontinue it or it got cancel so it didn’t get any new update and I believe it only had like 6-10 chapters tbh