Pls help me

I had a rude awakening and then I instantly accepted it. "This is who I am now, i guess." - kind of moment. I have LGBT+ members in my family and we all treated it like normal so it wasn't really hard personally.

(Not gay, but bi/pan)

How was that awakening? Like what was the first sign?

I don't think i'm a good reference cause I was already in college and it was so sudden. While watching someone on stage, I had a full body shiver. There were no signs prior to this. I'm also demi lol.

If you're struggling, my only advice is to take it slow. It may feel overwhelming to not a have a label or figure yourself out, but you'll be figuring yourself out for the rest of your life anyway so why the rush? People change as they grow. You got this.

Thank you sm<3 i'll take your advice to heart. I didn't
wanna pressure myself but those thoughts have been bothering me a lot and your advice mean a lot to me. I'll take it slow for the moment, no need to label myself now thank you again love<33

If you’re attracted to a girl as much as you would in a guy or if you’ve never felt that way for a guy either then that could be a sign. To be honest though don’t think that you’re born attracted to one gender same as if thinking you are born to be a doctor because your grandparent was one or something.
Attraction can change as we are always changing going through growth mentally and physically alongside with change of environment, attraction to specific things and people comes and goes and it’s not something to overthink about in a specific sense.
I do get wanting to understand yourself but I promise it’s way easier to understand ourselves as human being including as an individual that we are and will continue to be changing, same goes for our attraction. Depending on your current mentality, your likes and dislikes, your beliefs, your lifestyle, your attraction very well depends on those.
Nothing to think so deeply about unless you’re studying psychology lol

Things like this are harder to come to acceptance for me as I live and was surrounded with nothing but conservative people, it's like i'm just confused and don't wanna disappoint myself in the end.
I've always felt attraction to women and men but at the time I've always thought my attraction to women could just be admiration but it got worse overtime and one of my biggest fear is it being a mistake or disappointing the people around that's always been there to support me. Fear is what's stopping me to come to a conclusion and doubts trouble me.

& personally for me I’ve always just found it more comfortable to depend on women for a lot of things that a girl would to a guy. Honestly my attraction for women developed from my trauma with men which by the way is fine, cause as I am healing from those I am still undoubtedly attracted to women. For some they could instead be only attracted to the opposite gender after healing which is fine, great even because they’ve healed but yeah. I have person religious beliefs so I can’t and won’t act on those attractions which doesn’t make me depressed or oppressed or something because well I obviously have faith and love my God not because of the religion rules or whatever, just God. At the end of the day the being I am attracted to most is God anyway teehee , for real the one I keep going back and forth too.

I liked how the awakening is pictured in Lost in the Cloud (chapter 72) , Cirrus is in the shower and is opening is mouth under the running shower , and he is having a moment where his sensuality is hightened while he is having flashes and images in his mind, in that story it's a reminescence of something that happened irl, but it can also be (in my case) a pure fantasy (having images of what could be with one person, like imagining kissing them , and hallucinating/day dreaming about holding hands with them or wanting to make them smile or laugh and hallucinating/daydreaming about that. I am saying hallucinating because it's not a conscious effort to think about that special someone, the mind just goes and makes a movie night on its own ha ha ^^ it's interesting to note that it's totally spontaneous , and not a choice , it's not a conscious decision it just starts on its own ! ?? It's an interesting phenomenon, the human mind, isn't it . I know i am not gay because i never had that kind of phantasia experience with same gender , but had plenty of crushs with the opposite sex, and the idea of kissing them would make me feel hot and somehow, sensual (not necessarily sexual) like, i would lay in bed at night in the dark , and my mind would just start imagining that this special someone were laying next to me and that would make me antsy ! Like i would feel the need to hug a pillow and hold it in my arms and press it against my body ,
and i am not talking about masturbating but yeah of course it's a fever that can go down :- D and lit all the chakras of energy ha ha ^^
I don't care if you are gay, bi or pan or hetero like me , i guess sexual awakening or sexual orientation manifests quite the same it's just a matter of the degree of hyper/asexuality some people aren't sexual at all so it's more a sensual awakening in that case and romantic desires like holding hands and.going on dates and kissing, or just spending all day thinking of that person like having their face engraved in your retina and you feel like either it's the moon or the sun you are watching, or a flower or a cute puppy, it's THEM that you see. !!! (And we have different degrees of infatuation,.obsession and feeling '' in love '' and that gives you plenty of inspiration and energy to care for that person one way or another ? Unless you are aromantic but it's intesting to observe the daydreaming and the inclination can be of different nature. Do you want to take care of someone physically, romantically or sexually , still means you care about them or you are attracted to them in some way, oh, and domestic attraction is another one. Like being romantically attracted and domestically attracted to someone (fantasizing about sharing a life with them) and feeling physically (sensually awakened) by them, and wanting physical intimacy with them ? It's another thing ! Ha those awakening times, so invigorating !! : -D _ good luck * finger crossed * i wish you a good life _ ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

Tons of yapping but a lot of help thank you. I want to take care of the person I love with care and love and sexually I don't mind. I don't care to think about gender at all tbh.

Hmm yeah that is a confusing and even scary time to fear disappointment, I know it’s harder than it sounds to believe but those are simply fears. It’s a very physical feeling but it isn’t what it seems, those loving and supportive people are still there and that won’t change unless you let those fears get to you and make you cower or worse do something that’ll have those fears come true instead of what you thought would make your fears come true.
In that situation again I do recommend you to not overthink it.

You keep emphasizing on not wanting to disappoint yourself in the end, like having regrets?

I think the best you could do is as I said is to not think you are this and that, gay, straight or bisexual. You are simply you, and what are you in terms of sexuality? An always changing being with flexible attraction. And what does that mean when it comes to meeting people? when you don’t put a label on yourself and just letting yourself be attracted to whoever you find yourself attracted to just accept that and explore it.

In my opinion this is the best conclusion or else it’ll always be an existential crisis where you may have regrets like what if I hadn’t though that specific way before and just let myself be attracted to whoever, could I have dated that person and lived a different life? Regrets like these I think will be less of a burden if you come to these conclusions.

Hopefully you don’t ever find yourself having regrets like those

Feeling hot and like feverish when locking eyes with my crush! Was my first hint. Crushing on someone is phenomenal !! Its totally unvoluntary it's sometimes just '' feeling incredibly nervous and awkward '' around that person and it doesn't really mean anything else other than , that we find this person '' interesting '' somehow, like aesthetically ! And we like the '' vibe '' that they have , either we want to be them OR they stimulate our imagination A LOT lol lol . _ AH youth ~~~ ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~ _

Me too, I believe in god and love, respect. Not for religion but I just put my faith. Thank you love<33 you're very kind for answering my question and giving me your pov was very helpful.

Wow okay thank you, i'll just let faith decide then, I don't wanna overthink, I don't wanna put a label on me as I said.
Thank you again. I just don't wanna continue having anxiety to such a simple question and you're right I should just let things happen and figure it out in the end.
The best choice right now is to not overthink(〜￣△￣)〜

Ooh!!! Ok so my feelings were real back then lol. Again thanks you helped me a lot too and your point of view was very much needed on what signs there were when you get a crush on anyone.