not what i thought it was gonna be…

blue.lea August 28, 2024 10:39 am

it’s the way i walked into this story thinking it was gonna be light and cute, only to be hit with generational trauma and abuse :((((( sakuma’s irrational fears due to his abuse were just so heartbreaking. and although many people seem to be mad at it lol, i really liked the way we were shown that even though we can find comfort or a healthy coping mechanism, our trauma doesn’t just up and leave once we do through sakuma being so irrationally afraid of the dark, he did what he thought was ok to do in that moment with that worker. another comment spoke on that alrdy tho so im not gonna say too much on that part

i also liked the small, one-page snippet of the father’s physical abuse as a child. the father’s abusive past is not a means of justification toward his own abusive behavior, but it is the heart wrenching explanation as to why sakuma was put in the boxes. the father’s lines of “i won’t hit you. i’m different from him,” though it’s probably just what the translators used, imply the distance and dissociation the father was trying to put between himself and his own abusive father. it also showed us that he thought it was completely reasonable and rational to do what he did. he didn’t put sakuma in the box because he WANTED to mistreat him or be an abusive father, he did it because he actually treasured sakuma but probably didnt know how to navigate his anger (im assuming it was his anger) or displeasure in a healthier way. unfortunately, like many abuse victims, and like i said before, im sure he thought it a reasonable punishment or smthn because he wasnt *physically harming* his son, whom he treasured and thought important, as implied by the lines of “i’ll put important things in a box . . . so that i wont be able to break them apart.” (and honestly, the language he used when speaking to sakuma when he was putting him in the box, “thats right, i know you’re a good boy. you’re perfect, i know you’re perfect…” i don’t think he was being manipulative or anything when saying it, it seemed he genuinely believed that sakuma was a perfect, good kid).

on top of that, we were shown a little bit of the trauma inflicted onto sakuma’s older brother through their father’s actions, even if the trauma was a bit indirect in comparison (since we weren’t shown if his brother was ever put into the boxes too).

overall, very saddening story that i didn’t think was going to be so sad LOL. i was thinking it was just going to be something ridiculous and light, not so dark and deep. i really loved this story, it was so well written, AND the art is just so so good. (sorry for the essay LOLS)

Responses
    Disappointed September 11, 2024 5:01 pm

    I think you're spot on!

    The only thing I want to add is that watching someone dear being abused can be extremely traumatic, in some cases it's even more severe.

    Me and my sister had a similar experience at home.
    My father was always frustrated and drunk, he used to beat me up since my earliest memories. I won't give much details, but, since I'm the oldest, I always brought upon myself to protect my younger sister, even if she never asked me to, I even took the blame for things she did because I couldn't bare the thought of her being harmed. I stopped crying when I was around 6 or 7 years old, I told her I'd didn't hurt when he beat me because I didn't want her to cry, I only understood the damage she suffered from being forced to watch all that violence after we grew up, sometimes I wonder who got it worse, to be honest.

    We're really close and protective of each other, we have another sister almost 12 years younger. When I was 18 I kicked my parents out of the house and raised them, they are everything to me.

    blue.lea September 14, 2024 9:44 am
    I think you're spot on!The only thing I want to add is that watching someone dear being abused can be extremely traumatic, in some cases it's even more severe.Me and my sister had a similar experience at home. ... Disappointed

    i agree!! the only reason i didn’t touch much on the brother was because we didn’t see much of him this time around and i wanted to read his story before psychoanalyzing him lolol, but yes ure absolutely right.

    thank you for sharing ur experience and your thoughts :) i hope you and your sisters are doing alright now!!