FETISHIZED

https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/royal_servant/ Been a long time since I read this but if I remember correctly the power imbalance between them made me go “this just feels like someone’s kink”

And you’re so right about the term being lost

I havent read it honestly so i wouldn’t know LOL but i usually throw the term away unless its actually visibly “fetishizing” lol im not trying to be “political” or argue just to argue once again . i just feel like i never see it, and i dont think a power imbalance between characters makes it a kink or fetish :/. Also a kink isnt the same as a fetish.

As a heads up, I am speaking from the perspective of a women. I am not trying to speak for gay male identifying people and these are just my opinions.
I can't think of any BL off the top of my head, but I would say anything that promotes gay relationship stereotypes is harmful and fetishizing. Examples of this would be enforcing extreme gender roles, character saying he's not gay but just like him, age gaps that make no sense with the story, ect.

Yeah i think the “straight men” having sex with them and then saying they dont like them is really weird and probably the closest to it but i dont understand the age gap thing? And im a bi woman as well lol. I also dont know about the gender role thing i feel like the extreme gender roles are not that bad as long as it’s not painting it in a bad light. Although i still dont care for the trope that much. Also stereotypes dont seem to be fetishizing more like someone writing about something that they dont know too much about lol but these are all just my personal opinions

i think a lot of it depends on the intent of the reader and writer? if they produce or consume bl, but have reductive views on gay ppl, i'd consider that fetishist.

i honestly don't think bl content is that different from romance in general. i haven't read anything from booktok but i did have to suffer thru an era where twilight and 50 shades of grey were A Thing and shitty dark romance with power imbalance has always been popular.

it's also ironic that the same ppl making accusations think the presence or absence of explicit scenes validates or invalidates the gay experience?

Thank you for sharing you opinions. I probably didn't explain well. I 100% agree that stereotypes can be a lack of knowledge. In other cases, it can be purposely adding an element that people fetishize about. A non-BL example would be that blonde girls are dumb. Now, if the story involves the blonde girl doing sexual things with the air of ignorance, I believe that readers seeking that would be fetishizing the blonde girl stereotype. It really depends on the reader.
With the gender roles and age, it depends how the author portrays it and the reader interprets it. With age, I find it is more common than straight romances to have a large age gap with a younger male. I believe this is due to the stereotype that many gay men have their first romance with a guy that is much older than them.
With gender roles, it becomes a problem when the author uses specific traits to "identify" a gay man. I guess it fetishizes the "gay experience." Less of a sexual fetish and more of an obsession fetish (Non-sexual fetish description: to consider something or someone important, interesting, or attractive to an unreasonable degree)

Either way, I don't care what people read. I think fetishes are fine and cool as long as nobody is getting hurt. :)

I agree but ive actually met multiple gay men who have lost and regularly have sex with older men lol im not saying its everyone or that its a good stereo type but its a stereotype for a reason lol i was actually pretty suprised when those people told me that awhile ago bc i didnt even know that the stereotype was a thing. But yeah i dont really care that much as long as people dont get hurt. But i just felt like ranting a little bc it was on my mind :)

Fr! Some people seem to get really mad when they see that the yaoi/ bl content has sex in it? Like sex is a thing and part of any relationship period (unless your ace/ dont do it) Why do they feel like if its shown that its suddenly not the “gay experience” like if anything i feel like the sex thats implied/ shown is good representation bc i mean it’s GAY SEX lmao and im totally fine with shows that dont have sex. Its just that people seem to be lowkey scared of gay sex being shown or even implied which is ironic

Sometimes I really wonder why they throw the term fetishizing around so much. Like does having sex scenes = fetishizing in their minds? Because I promise you gay men are also having sex. I hate when I see the term thrown around for anyone that likes non squeaky clean BL

Also I think the fetishizing thing is a non-issue. Men oppress women so much irl (see the recent news on South Korea, India, Afghanistan, etc). So why can’t a girl just enjoy seeing two fictional guys go at it. Doesn’t harm anyone