He says Haewon is a slut, not a slur. Apologies for the typos
Can you please spoil the rest for me? You’re gonna save me a lot of sleepless nights
Him doing self-harm is his way to repay what he had done to Haewon. He is willing to hurt himself to feel the pain if it makes Haewon happy. This novel is famous for its theme of suffering, of course there are also those who are satisfied with the ending if they like genres like dark romance or psychology in the first place. It's obviously not sugar or rainbow from beginning (except the side story).
Him doing self-harm is his way to repay what he had done to Haewon. He is willing to hurt himself to feel the pain if it makes Haewon happy. This novel is famous for its theme of suffering, of course there are also those who are satisfied with the ending if they like genres like dark romance or psychological in the first place. It's obviously not sugar or rainbow from beginning (except the side story).
Apologies for the very late reply. I don't know much because I haven't read the novel, but according to those who did read the novel, it will only keep getting worse from here and Haeyoung will only stop the torture and humiliation once Haewon commits suicide. Haewon was able to survive, and it was Haeyoung's "wake up call", because he realized hurting Haewon was not "effective" in making Haewon stay.
So Haeyoung "changes tactics" and starts treating Haewon the best way he can so he doesn't lose him again. There wasn't really any "epiphany" where the three MLs realize their wrongdoings. And basically it's obvious Haeyoung has A LOT of screws loose in his brain. None of them have a redemption arc. The webtoon/manhwa MIGHT end differently, but I personally doubt it.
First of all, I'm only posting this because I know how frustrating it is to wait for updates. If you don't want spoilers, don't read this.
So out of the rape scenes so far, I think the rape scene in Chapter 44 is the most gruesome so far. There was so much BLOOD. Haeyoung tore Haewon's hole REALLY BADLY. It was so painful to read. Korean readers are now calling this work "misery porn" because literally. There's no better term to describe it.
Anyway, it starts off with Haeyoung raping Haewon yet again, and Haewon begs him to stop. He says something like, "Please, Haeyoung, we're friends. We've been friends for years. Please don't do this. I'll be friends with Heesung (the guy who looks like Haeown) if you want. I'll treat him well. Please just stop."
And of course Haeyoung interprets it differently. He tells Haewon that they're no longer friends, because friends don't have sex, and then he asks Haewon why would he want to be friends with Heesung when they're vastly different from each other. He says Haewon is a slur while Heesung is not.
Haewon spirals even more at the realization that Haeyoung doesn't consider him as a friend anymore, while wondering how his life would have been if he hadn't been born poor with an alcoholic and violent father. And then Heesung knocks on the bathroom door, and Haeyoung enjoys embarassing Haewon while still raping him.
Again, it truly is misery porn. For those who have been wanting to drop this story, this might be the time to drop it. It's only gonna get worse from here according to those who read the novel. Plus, Haeyoung won't even be paying for any of his evil deeds. There will be no satisfying ending.