Wow. That was emotional
i honestly didn't expect anyone to reply, thank u for this it means a lot
im glad i can be of help to you. ive never felt like that so i dont know how you feel and i dont know anything i can say to you.. but i promise it will get better.
I haven't watched orange but I just wanted to tell you this: Life goes on. I have also experienced these feelings when I was younger. I have also hurt a friend and am probably never going to be forgiven. All I wish for that person now is good health and happiness. Yes, we all have regrets, but I have learned that life goes on no matter what. It wasn't my friends or family who got me out of it, they didn't even know. I was the one who had to force myself to find goals. I did it through school. I joined multiple school clubs(many w/o even knowing what they really were about), took weird fun classes, and took hard classes. If you feel that you have no one to talk to, talk to God. Everyone says that he's always listening and I do that. Whether I have concerns, or get thankful, or scared, I just say them out loud or in my head. Sometimes you just have to literally pick yourself up, wipe away the dirt and move on your day. Whether it is you forcing yourself to get up or you need a little professional help, it's totally fine. I definitely encourage people to get professional help. I have known many people who have been affected by suicide or self harm and One quote that I love and heard from Nick Scott (search him up! His story is wonderful!) was "Some people may look and see a half empty cup and some may see a half full cup. Just be glad you have a cup at all."
There is always something to live for even if it's something small. I have gone through suicidal feelings a lot, they are hard to deal with, but I just try to focus on things to look forward to. There are still places you haven't gone, manga you haven't read, cool people you haven't met, fun times you haven't experienced yet. Yeah, things get bad sometimes, but usually I end up having a moment that makes me feel glad to be alive. Once you are dead that's it, no way to take back your life... you have all the time in the world to be dead, so try to stay alive and make the most out of your life with the time you've been given. You deserve happiness and peace of mind. Things won't get better overnight, but I think with time, you can put what happened behind you and things will eventually be a little less painful for you. Time heals, you will see. Just try to hang in there and keep moving forward. Best of luck to you.
umm I dont know you but you shouldn't think like that the world is big and small at the same time even if today everything was going wrong and you didnt have some to talk to about it tomorrow you may meet someone that will be there for you
This isn't even emotional...it's fucking "preach"
I dont think killing yourself would solve all the problems, but not sure if continue to live would do any better. I'm still trying to stay alive everyday to look for the answer.
I finished watching orange last night and it made me realize something. I can relate a lot to kakeru. Lately everyday i've been thinking about killing myself and ending everything "Would anyone be sad if I died?" "Would something fun of happened tomorrow?" "Will my regrets disappear?" "Will my sins be atoned for?". These phrases really stuck with me and are things I think about. I hurt someone who meant a lot to me and they aren't forgiving me. They were the only person I had and I did something really terrible to them. Kakeru had friends that cared about him so he could be saved but I don't have that. I don't know if I can be saved like he did. Whats the point to anything anymore?