Please answer before I read

1. Not for uke, and seme tried to but not. He just want to make sure if he really see uke and not his first love, bcs his first love is blonde, basically have a similarity to uke, like his hair and his mole. So he tried to sleep with another blonde, but never do it bcs he always think back about uke.
2. For uke he have a old friend thats seem to like him, but never manage to make uke to love him back, one sided love. And for seme is his first love, he was obsessed with him, the problem is that first love is only an illusion he make, basically not a real person, thats why he always search someone irl who looks like his first love.
3. Both are jealous with each other. Seme jealous of uke old friends. Uke jealous or more feels like betrayed because seme seems to using him for substitute of his imaginary first love.
4. Both have a family problem thats make them broken. So they use their relationship to save and comfort each others pain. There's where's the toxic began. Mostly because the seme obsession of his first love.
5. At chap >50, its really broke my heart but after some time they manage to solve the problem, and trying to starting their relationship from zero again. This story really can picture emotional and mental health well. Despite everything the way they get the power from each other to overcome their pain is amazing.
6. I don't remember theres any rape here, but well, the others reader tend to say that when the others say stop/no and he keep on going is basically the same. But for me, even though the seme a bit forceful in that matters the uke still endup allowing the seme, so its consensual for me not rape.

And like i said before, the things that make it toxic is because both of them have family problem, and for seme that problem make him create an illusion world where he can make a world he want and theres when he meets his first love that help him survive and obsessed with that. When uke know about that illusion things, thats make him remember how a cults make his family crumble beyond saving, and that make him more traumatized.

Thats it. ╥﹏╥

Thank you so much for explaining! Could you clarify what you mean by: “the problem is that first love is only an illusion he make, basically not a real person, thats why he always search someone irl who looks like his first love.“

So SEME’s first love isn’t real? Is his first love Uke but didn’t realize? Why is he so obsessed with blonde first love? When does SEME realize this is wrong or he’s treating Uke wrong?

Does Uke stand up for himself and leave SEME? And he comes back again?

“basically have a similarity to uke, like his hair and his mole”— So the person in SEME’s imagination has similar features that Uke has?

And I just realized the cover, both SEME and UKE have black hair. So will SEME be fine when UKE reverts to his original black hair? When will SEME forget and move on from his imagination?

Yeah his first love wasn't real, have u seen a kdrama "its okay that love"? There's D.O from exo, and he act as the illusion the ML make from suffering of his childhood trauma. Its basically the same with this one. Its just something the subconscious make in response to protect oneself from a something like trauma.

No he's first love wasn't uke, thats first love starting from his childhood till he's an adult. And then later he meet uke who looks and remind him of his first love. Basically his first love is someone so important for him, like everything he has in his empty and lonely world. The only light who can make him keep on survive.

He never thinks thats is wrong despite his surroundings treat him like a freak for that. But when he realized that he really love uke for himself not as substitute that when he trying to change himself. Because now uke truly replaces his first love position as the most important person in Seme's life.

Yeah he is. His live is also not easy because of his family problem and his hardworking to achieve his dream even though his talent is underestimated by many people, so he know the time to stand for himself and cut people off for his own mental health. But ofc he comeback, they will have a happy end despite all the struggles and drama.

Yeah, the uke and seme first love is similar. Thats way seme reaching out to uke.

Yeah later after uke know thats seme first love has a blode hair and even same position mole at his face, he decided to change his hair color.

At first seme say something that will hurt uke feelings, but later after uke gone he begin to realize his own feelings.

Honestly he already love uke as himself and not as substitute from the beginning they becoming official, but because seme afraid that he will lose his precious memory's that slowly forget about his first love he begin to push uke away and trying so hard to denying that he really loves uke. So the development got dragged until chapter >50 for seme to really move on and choose uke.

Honestly I appreciate the detailed spoilers. Appreciate so much. I really love spoilers before reading as long as the ending isn’t specifically described.

I just don’t think his first love was real cause it wasn’t a real person and because it stems from his trauma , I’m not sure how to say it but yeah. So how does SEME describe his first love besides physical appearance? Is it a guy or girl first love, is SEME gay or bi?

But here I’ll believe that his first love was his imaginary person. It makes sense he’d fall for someone who was his only in his little world (head).

Of course it’s the hurt first and then realize you love them later, haha .

Wait so they dated officially and Seme pushed him away during the relationship? Yeah it does sound toxic and most likely is as you described.

So does SEME still remember his imaginary first love? Or he moves on completely? I assume it wouldn’t be easy because that’s what he used to cope.

I wonder who the title refers to. A world without you. Who’s You? SEME’s imaginary first love or MC? Maybe both.

The titles refers to both in my opinion, bcs theres time when seme goes panic when he cant remember correctly about his first love, he feel like he lose the most important things in his live.
And then he felt the same way when he lost uke, he lost all reason to live again like when he lose his first love.
So yeah its basically described seme world when he lose the person he love the most.

Anyway you just need to read this manhwa, its worth it.

I finished reading it. I can’t lie, I cried in some scenes, especially the ones where ML self harmed and MC’s argument with his parents who are in a cult. God they hold so much trauma, and the trauma isn’t resolved yet. I don’t think it ever will, but hopefully they’ll find ways to cope, this seems realistic—mental illness doesn’t magically disappear, they’ll still struggle in some ways.

And you’re right, the Seme at first says he can’t live in a world without you—as in the blonde imaginary guy from his dreams. But later on, he refers “a world without you” to MC, I think he realized he can’t live in a world without him. I mean, ML even self harmed because he couldn’t stand being away from MC during the break apart arc.

I don’t think his first love was anyone, since his imaginary person wasn’t real, it was his coping mechanism due to his intense trauma. He admitted it was all an illusion, that love he had was him seeking comfort. Gosh, his parents are the worst along with MC’s parents, and ML’s mother moved on and has a new kid too.

I’m glad they got back together. It felt horrible seeing them apart, even though it was only for a few months I believe. I read the epilogues as well, I hope there’s more to it besides sex.

┗( T﹏T )┛

Wow, you literally asked whole story
(ノ≧∇≦)ノ