I've tried to find smth similar too but couldn't. The closest I've found is probably "what it means to be you"
Okk tyy
There was the time when I want you to be dead
But near the ending MC grew some backbone unlike my beloved oppressor
Tyyy
I can't find it can you link it?
Tyy
Similar to
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/my_beloved_oppressor/