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Sounds like you guys are adults and independent in your own ways..it’s not wrong of you to feel like this I think what you can do is set rules. You guys are family but I don’t think it’s so rude to ask this, clearly you have a schedule of your own and if your sister wants you to cooperate it’s only right she does too whether she is older or not, point is that you guys are living together and it makes sense to set rules if you are having frustrations.
Rules as in if it’s the time to go to the gym (if you haven’t already you should set a time to when you’re going to gym instead of random) then she can’t make you clean and cancel your plans, and if its time to clean you can’t cancel with the excuse of going to the gym because that’s set at a separate time. Makes sense right? There’s no reason for her or you to make a fuss .
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Wow that’s sounds so logical, thank you!!! Can I please vent more I have so many things I want to talk about but can’t tell my friends or anyone at all!!
My sister and my bf are friends he met me through my sister and blah blah and we started dating! My bf and my sister are still friends and I’m totally okay with it but one time I was calling my sister through his phone and saw their text messages! My sisters and my boyfriend talk bad about me to each other! Like little things how I get mad and it gets hard for them to approach me or those little things! She talks about our family issue to my bf which I don’t want him to know and he also talks about how I can be little annoying to him!! I don’t know how to feel about it. I thought about talking to them or even tried but I can’t! I don’t have the courage.
I don’t know how to feel about all these give me some advice Ik its best to talk it out but can you suggest something other than that?
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Well yeah the best thing to do is to confront but if you don’t have the courage then you should think about why are they close like that.
You said that you don’t want him to know of your family situation, why? Reasons like too personal or you don’t want him to know that side of you? Besides the talking behind your back part your sister and boyfriend might be close because your sister talks about personal things like that.
I don’t know why you don’t want to open up to your boyfriend but normally it’s expected to open up in relationships and that might be why your boyfriend is so willing to talk behind your back because you don’t open up to him like a girlfriend does.
But to be honest your boyfriend doesn’t sound like a good person. Beside you confronting him, if he has something to say about you he should be communicating with you not your sister. If you really want to find a way about this you can, but honestly it might drain you to deal with someone that can’t communicate with you when from what it sounds like you need someone who communicate with you because you struggle with it.
You sound like you have a pretty good healthy schedule and if you want my genuine advice I’d say to not bother. Set rules with your sister and all and if you get the courage after having a think about things you can confront them then if you come to the same conclusion I’m thinking of then tbh I think you should not give that dude the time of day.
For you to experience your boyfriend that’s meant to communicate with you talk behind your back to your own blood is seriously weird. You deserve better
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I do talk about my family issues but I take time to open up, he knows it too. Honestly I kinda felt betrayed from both my sister and my boyfriend, the family issue they were talking about was recent, something that occurred few weeks ago. I’m not the type to just immediately share things especially something that’s happening in my family.
Like he is my boyfriend I should be allowed to tell my boyfriend the family issues and my sister too she is my sister he shouldn’t be talking bad about me to my own sister.
I wish they maintained their boundaries. Idk if I’m overthinking things cause they’re friends and it’s should be okay. I haven’t told anyone about it and I really wanted to vent it out, this has been eating up my brain. I’m lowkey annoyed with both and just want to be stay alone and be on my own zone.
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Your feelings are totally valid you’re really not overthinking things. Yeah not telling your boyfriend everything immediately is okay honestly a good thing, from the sounds of it there’s nothing from your side that should have him acting like that other than the fact he has a bad character and looks down on you.
Don’t do that to yourself alright, as in letting them step over you and being blind to it. You’re feeling betrayed and upset for a reason and if all you’re hitting is a wall that they’re selfishly putting up I don’t think you should bother. Move on with your life when you do there’s gonna be someone and other things that deserve this attention you’re wasting on them.
There’s no excuse like being friends to have them talk bad behind your back. Talking behind your back is strange but talking bad is seriously horrible and weird. That sounds like a boy and you deserve a man. Your sister also needs to do better, I cry a whole river when someone talks bad about mine to think one would ever talk bad about their sister with someone?? That’s horrible.
Have self respect for yourself and honestly distant yourself to heal. No confrontation is needed if that’s okay for you as long as you can move on regardless.
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Honestly it feels so nice to vent out and hear people’s opinions, i don’t like sharing some things with my friends and I don’t want them to know either. It gets so awkward. Seriously thank you so much! This was so therapeutic, I feel good! I should vent out more but rn I have nothing to vent lol.
Will surely update on my situation still confused on if I should just walk away from all these or at least talk to my sister and let her know but again I don’t want to.
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Yeah all good just don’t disclose specific information like names and better yet use fake email so none of the stuff you vent will link back to you.
For now you could just think if you don’t know how to feel. Again don’t have this just pass like it’s nothing because it’s not just overthinking. But take your time with your thoughts just continue living life don’t have this affect your days :)
I live with my elder sister in states and it’s so annoying as a younger sister, I go college, gym and have my own schedule but she decides to clean the apartment so clean it but I have to help her too even when I’m not in mood, i want to go gym and she decided to arrange the store room now instead of going to the gym I’m cleaning the room instead!!!! regardless of telling her I have to go gym. I get shouted at, it’s so annoying! I can’t even complain about it to my friends or boyfriend cause I’ll be the bad person for talking ill about my own sister like that and my family members are always supporting her.
I really want to vent out and let it out of my chest uggghhhhhhhhhhhhh