Ohhh same. I had flings dyring highschool and you say they were all immature. One boy in particular demand a lot of my attention. He ASKS for permission to eat, sleep, take a bath you name it. I need to update him about everything, call him, and even send pictures (harmless one, just a decent pic of. Nothing inappropriate). We're not even official so it started to suffocate me. He even demanded to see me during quarantine when Covid was in peak and didn't understand why I wouldn't go out. He even made me chose which was important, obeying the health protocols or him lol.
Looking back, I hate it. I'm not into updating someone or being updated. You do you, I do me. You want to eat? Go eat. It's not like have your food nor your plate, you can eat without telling me. Want to play games? Okay. I have other things to do. I actually think I'm a red flag because of this so I'm not really into relationships.
But, if it's the right person maybe I can change lol. How nice it would be to have a much deeper connection with a rifht person that you'll forget all your icks
Oh, to love and to be loved
THISS!!! My last few relationships made me believe I was not really into relationships and when I tried to go to a few friends for help about it, they made it seem like a red flag. One of my friends got mad at me because I rejected someone and she told me I complain about being lonely (which I don’t, I just say “I wish I had a partner” but then again I don’t want one because of the demands.) She made me feel really bad about it, like I was just rejecting people for fun then complaining that I don’t have a partner. That was not happening, I was rejecting people because I didn’t want a relationship with them, they weren’t my type and had strange personalities. She didn’t understand that, she just “knew” that I was rejecting people to get a laugh out of it. And after we had that little argument she started treating me badly. The jokes we used to make together she said “haha.” (She used to be like “LAMJSODJDH”) and when I said a joke that she made she replied with “you have 2020 haha fortnite humor”. But like after 2 weeks she’s back to being nice to me, sending me drawings she’s made and checking in on me and I just find it weird.
But I’m glad someone understands what I was trying to say. It makes me happy in a way!
Rejection is part of life. You can't create a relationship just because the other person wants one. You have to want it to. It's called commitment (which I don't have so I don't go making relationships I cannot commit to). Rejection is painful, nobody said otherwise. However, it's better to cut it all off right there and then than to drag it all out until you already form some kind of connection.
I had two flings in my entire existence. My first fling was in 7th grade and ofc it was immature but he's not a red flag. It was at the peak of my puberty stage. I'm so conscious with opposite sex even though most of my friends were boys just a year ago. Overwhelmed with sudden affection and the fear of teenage pregnancy (overthinker lol). I didn't have a phone so we didn't chat a lot but hang around everyday at school. It ended (not in the good way) mainly because of religion differences and communication. The other fling was the one I talked about in my first comment.
After the second fling, I realized how red flag I am and not fit to have a romantic relationship.
Those two flings started because they liked me first. I didn't reciprocate the feelings but still entertained them. They knew I was just entertaining them but that doesn't justify my actions. I treated them the way they treat me, sweet and lovingly but after sometime I couldn't just keep up. That's when misunderstanding happens.
I can't do the things most couples do. Like, updating each other, holding each other (I hate physical touch), etc. I'm not a bad person. My friends told me that I treat them so nice as if they're my partner. The things is, I treat all of my friends like that and I'm sure it will not make my actual partner feel special and secure.
I still wonder how it feels like to love someone but that doesn't mean I'm that lonely to mindlessly start a relationship with someone
They be so judgemental as if we reject ppl in daily basis without reason lol.
I don’t want the things that come with a relationship like texting every time, checking on the person, making them my main focus BUTTT LISTEN. This helped me see it through a clearer viewpoint. I just haven’t found the person I’ve wanted to do that for yet.