she just deflected that trauma onto her son, its possible for “mothers” to leave because they believe they were trapped into the relationship because of the child they had
I think it's pretty believable especially if you remember she came from money. Lifestyle changes (downgrades especially) are VERY difficult and to come from a cushy lifestyle to poverty and domestic violence is literal hell. Secondly, not every woman has a strong maternal sense. That's why some women don't want kids while others do (it's a spectrum of that). In this situation, his mom was already not bad. However, given her current trauma and that she feels her husband AND (subconsciously) son are the sources of her pain, her heightened flight response determined she needed to get away from both of them.
Domestic violence and maternal abandonment can have a multitude of factors and dimensions beyond the straightforward reasons you've stated. It's very believable that a mother could see her son as the reason for her misery if you consider that it's way harder to leave a situation when you have responsibilities, especially ones like children (that's what he is), compared to leaving alone. She may have stayed for so long because she thought that it would either be better for him or entirely too difficult to leave with him in tow. Knowing that at the end of the day, she is technically staying in the situation for the son, can easily turn into resenting the boy just as much as the father when stuck in a position of abuse and trauma. It's not far-fetched. A lot of mothers can have a maternal instinct, get abused and then lose that when they've been broken down enough. It's very unfortunate, but it happens. There's also the possibility of her having had him quite young or without her family's approval, causing her to be cast out and stuck with the husband essentially, thereby making the child an easy target as a 'reason' behind her horrible situation.
I'm assuming you come from a first world country (correct me if I'm wrong)
A huge part of the issue is that women's rights and equality isn't acknowledged in so many places
Sadly, in so many societies, a single mom has to face so many difficulties
Be it hateful words and actions, not being able to find jobs, not being able to rent a house, not being able to socialise etc...
I've never been to Korea, but I face those problems on daily basis. I've heard that Korea has a conservative society as well, so I think there might be some similarities
Where I come from, women die on the streets trying to fight for their rights
I as a young woman had so many difficulties when I started to live by myself, because in the middle east a woman who doesn't live under the shadow of a man is presumed to be a whore by so many people. I can't possibly imagine how much harder it'd be for a single mother
So yeah, my point is that in some places women can't have a social standing on their own because their society has failed them
Sorry for the double notification
Just to be clear, I'm not saying she had the right to inflict all that pain to her son
A parent's job is to provide and protect
No form of abuse, be it verbal or physical is absolutely unacceptable
I was just pointing out the root of the problem
honestly this is a pretty accurate representation of what abuse can look like. what probably happened was she had a kid early on with her husband and abuser and was kicked out of her house because of it. that’s why she blames him for her problems. she probably also viewed him as the reason she couldn’t leave, although eventually she did. for abuse victims, its very common to blame everyone but their abuser, abusers are manipulators and you can see that from how he talks to her. its not rational but you cant expect abuse victims to be.
Yeah that's the thing, he doesn't seem to be the father? That's were the weird feeling comes for me. How she deals with abuse didn't seem unusual to me and I understand her behaviour
I was just trying to keep my comment short so I just put in the broad strokes. I don't think she's strange for feeling some resentment toward him, and you've kinda summarised what I thought very well actually. But I still can't quite articulate what I find strange about the scenario. I agree with every reply I've gotten, but oir conclusions are a little different. I don't know what it is, something is strange
Literally nowhere and in no words does my comment say "I think it's weird she didn't leave sooner/didn't take him with her", yet everyone seems to have intepreted that into it. And almost all the stuff you bring up falls into the 3 more general reasons I mentioned.
"Abusers are manipulative, that's why it can be difficult to leave" that's what the trap part in my comment was about.
"They convince themselves it's not that bad" that's similar to the "think they deserve it" thing I brought up.
You guys, how many BLs where the protagonist gets left behind by his mum in an abusive situation do you think I've read? Dozens. And they're all similar to this version.
BUT I just found something about how it was written kind of strange, and I can't quite put my finger on it. I literally don't know how to explain it. I wrote this comment because I thought maybe someone else noticed, but it just seems to have lead to misunderstandings.
Guess I'll write a more elaborate comment next time, so I don't get misinterpreted this hard.
Thank you for your insightful comments btw, I hope that people who liked my comment cuz they judge the mum uncritically get to read some of your replies
Ahh you might be right.. I guess all will be revealed later.. maybe she was set into an arranged marriage and ran away with this man with her kid?
This whole abusive household scenario is kinda weirdly written. Like, the reason women have difficulty escaping domestic violence is because they're scared of the unknown/don't know how to live independently, their husbands try to trap them, and also they often think it's their own fault so they deserve being hit.
But the setting presented here is so off in so many ways. The only thing that seems to match is the lack of a support network. The way she leaves is also strange. Idk I just think the way this was handled is odd