I immediately think that epic homophobe from can't think straight. Some many people like it and uses that exact troupe where he can't get hard without uke even though he isn't gay. It seriously pissed me off and came off as sloppy and lazy writing on the author's part even if it is an unserious manhwa. It's not even a good troupe I still can't see why it still used especially in BL’s BOY LOVE.
I know someone irl that's kinda heteroflexible. As far as I know, he only had girlfriends in HS. He never showed any romantic interest in guys. However, when we were 2nd year in college, he shocked us (our friend group) with a boyfriend. We went to different schools but kept in touch. And to him, in his own words, it was the most comfortable relationship he has ever had. He told us that he didn't feel that way with any other guy, and he probably won't except for his boyfriend. They're still together to this day ( about 4 years?). Seeing it happen irl made me realize that the trope is used because it can happen. Maybe not as frequent as it is used in stories, but it can happen. It made me hate the trope less (and like it even).
I didn’t know the name for it, but I had read in a book that people can fall in love with someone but that doesn’t mean they are sexually attracted to them because love and sex are 2 different things. Of course the trope is not really like that because usually it’s all about the sex. I don’t hate the trope as much as it can get annoying when there are so many other avenues to explore that wouldn’t diminish the characters feelings and it can teach people about other lesser known orientations.
I didn’t know people get annoyed by that and that’s considered a ‘trope’. Isn’t that realistic? I mean if they weren’t gay or have dated any males before and more so if their environment didn’t contain any same sex relationship then obviously it’s ‘i’m only gay for you.’
But tbh instead of ‘I’m only gay for you.’ Does the gay part have to be considered? It’s just that they are interested in that person because it’s them.
Same goes if a usually gay character or person likes the opposite gender it isn’t because ‘I’m only straight for you.’ It’s more so I feel like this because it’s you.
Now that I’m typing this it feels like there isn’t a difference so it sounds confusing but there is a difference no one is really ‘gay’ or ‘straight’ the term was for like to group us up and make sense of things yk (WHICH IS OKAY) kind of like how we are called female and male based on our private parts bc we can’t all just be called humans with vg or pp lmao.
In the same way if you usually go for the opposite gender you’d be perceived as straight but you don’t really have to title yourself anything, I’m not saying this and telling y’all to have an existential crisis SORRY IF I DO, but more so to say that it all goes to attraction.
And let me say not all attraction means = romantic or sexual.
If you perceive being unusually attracted to something or someone as sexual or romantic then obviously it’s going to be ingrained to your brain that way
But that doesn’t mean that’s how it works, this can be change any time as long as you discipline.
I find this really interesting that’s all lol
Oops also want to add before someone misunderstand me bc I know it’s a sensitive or controversial topic: we are called/ grouped up as male and female bc of our private parts but also biology as we individually have cells that indicates we are what we call female and male
That’s really subjective, people associate love with sex and some don’t. The trope is just a way for the mc to seem extra special. Like the attraction is so strong that it transcends the love interest’s original orientation. I kinda like that
Sexuality is a very real thing though how can you say it’s an arbitrary term. I for one would never date a girl and have never been attracted to one my a entire life
Well it’s a very complicated thing! Unless the very creator told us of the truth of the world I’m not going to 100% assume things unless well it comes from my beliefs.
But what I said I didn’t relate to any of that, I’m speaking purely out of biology and psychology. I’m not exactly saying sexuality isn’t real, instead I’m saying the ‘sexuality’ you guys speak of if we break it into the groups of gay, lesbian, straight and whatever else It’s a group and not exactly a individual thing because well it’s man made!
Instead I’m saying this ‘sexuality’ we talk about is ‘attraction’.
So I’m not dismissing sexuality it’s more of me saying sexuality is attraction. I don’t get what you mean with the last part but lately I’ve been hearing things from people that follow sexuality is that they are born that way.
Personally I don’t think that’s true. We are always changing and adapting. Other than the genes of our parents and ancestors having influence on our characteristics, even those can be avoided. I think this way because like how we like and dislike certain things or have beliefs and disbeliefs, it’s mostly if not always because of our life experience.
For example if someone who had been /bused in their adolescent and had never had a single adult or even people their age they could trust and lean against if they grew up as aggressive, manipulative and mentally ill in trust issues or anxiety it would be linked to how they grew up.
That’s life experience, and I believe it shapes us who we are in everything. Including attraction. Personally for me I’ve been both attracted to female and male. I have believed I was 100% lesbian but I have also believed that I’m 100% straight.
But I know that whatever I title myself it will change depending on what I experience, and that means physically around me and mentally. If I strive to like a certain thing that has me attracted to women then I am going to be attracted to women, or maybe something interferes like the influence of a sudden interest that has me wanting to be attracted to male, but even then I may be attracted to a female because who knows, a person that I considered a friend turn into something I perceive as romantic attraction.
It’s all complicated, and I’m not saying this to push it into you but more so because it’s all so interesting you know? And definitely don’t limit to yourself to a group. You might as well have missed out on a memorable life experience if you do.
Just because your attractive flipped flopped around doesn’t mean everyone else’s will. I know staunch lesbians without a single ounce of interest in guys. People ARE just born that way. Sounds like you’re just bi
Attraction*
I’m not saying people are the same like me and people being attracted to one gender doesn’t dismiss what I was saying about attraction or in your words sexuality depends on life experience. If someone has a character that has them stick to one gender that attracts them then that’s how it’ll be.
Again I’m not dismissing sexuality I’m saying that sexuality is attraction and attraction vary depending on how you have or will live your life.
There is no facts that support us being born that way, but there is the genes of our parents and ancestors and yes those do influence us as their descendants so yes in that way it can be considered we are born that way if they leaned to whatever sex, but even that fact doesn’t dismiss my point which is: life experience is the reasoning of your attraction. Because even then as I said before that can change if you live your life different to your parents and ancestors which typically we do because we’re not the same people.
What I mean that our parents and ancestors have influence is for example if your grandfather and father has anger issues there’s a chance you will too or for a more fortunate case only get the urge to, if you submit to those urges and continue to do so then you will develop those anger issues. People that have parents with anger issues are more vulnerable to it for a reason, it’s in their genes.
Choose your partner wisely lol or even better reconsider having children if you can’t handle these facts, personally I can’t and it’s so sad.
Don’t misunderstand okay. Although these are facts if you don’t want to see it that way then okay, you do you. But just open your mind and maybe see them as fun facts yk? Like how you learn nipples actually have multiple holes but well I don’t really want to accept that reality
I just literally read a comment on a certain series that can help explain the very annoying BL cliche of “I’m only gay for you”.
It’s probably not what the authors were going for, but this knowledge does make that trope more palatable.
It’s called “heteroflexibility “ and very broadly it means people who primarily identify as straight but sometimes feel attracted to people of the same sex.
I had never heard of this, but knowing about it makes that trope less annoying and the characters slightly more believable.
Any characters that jump out at you that might fit this description?
In case people are wondering, the character in question is Sei from Yoidore koi o sezu.