There has got to be something wrong with Shahid, he can't possibly think that what he is d...

I get why most people would dislike Shahid. Let me try to offer a different view. Shahid is a 7ft insecure & very damaged child. Imagine being a kid who accidentally killed his own mother while trying to protect himself because a whole country is trying to kill him. Add countless more assassination attempts on top of that. The few allies he has have coddled him throughout his life. And really. Who wouldn't? Look at his scars... He's damaged, spoiled, lacks boundaries, and doesn't have some basic human understanding that most take for granted.

They've been living with regard for each other from the beginning so, to me, they've already been in a relationship for 10yrs. They just didn't realize it. The misunderstandings, mistakes, and rift stained their story. 10 years later, some liquid courage, & they are finally together. Is Shahid an idiot? Absolutely. Is he treating Yexing perfectly? Not at all. But Yexing isn't some dainty flower of a victim either. He's a baby John Wick who's been out killing to protect the man he loves for all these years. Does Shahid need self control? Painfully so. But if Yexing really wanted him to stop, he would stop him. He's done that many times in the story already. And really, really. His behavior around Kiyan only proves my point. He's finally got the person he loves and he still feels insecure. That's why he's acting that way at the party. It's not right but it's not malicious. He's a poster child for Generalized Anxiety Disorder from Complex PTSD. After typing all that out, I still think it's okay to not really like Shahid. He's an idiot. But their love for each other is very real. I think as the story finishes and Shahid finally has some real stability in his life, he'll start to heal from his damage and his behavior will even out.

You said this so perfectly!!

Yexing wouldn't stop Shadid, he loves him and is afraid to loose him if he was to seriously reject his advances. Shadid assaults and rapes him non stop. I don't care that he has PTSD or that he's an idiot, to me he's just a rapist. It's also kind of weird to say their love started 10 years ago, because Yexing was a CHILD back then. Are you implying Shadid groomed him?

Wow.... uhm... okay. Let me say that I'm genuinely answering your comment. I'm not being confrontational or rude. I hope you take the time to read it as I'm putting a lot of thought into my response. And let me say this first in case you don't read my response- It's fine if you hate Raman, but please have more faith in Yexing. Don't reduce him to some helpless victim who allows himself to be continously raped by someone. He's so much more of a person than that.

As for their love starting 10 years ago, I genuinely think it did. Not all love is romantic nor am I implying grooming on any level. It was non-romantic, but Yexing only had eyes for Raman. It's like how Lou told Kenny during his coming of age ceremony that he wished him a happy life... with him. Lou was maybe 9 years old. He wasn't groomed nor was he thinking of having sex with Kenny. He just knew he wanted to always be with him. Yexing was the same. Raman too. He has always had a soft side to Yexing. He loved him and looked after him as a kid. He didn't see him as a potential partner until his coming of age ceremony, but he didn't pursue him because he thought Yexing was in love with Kenny. The major plot point between these two is how aware they are of everyone else and their feelings, but were completely oblivious about their feelings for each other.

As for Yexing stopping Shahid, he always stops him when he's had enough. Raman assaulted Yexing while high on pain meds after being shot. I don't dismiss that in the least. He didn't know it was Yexing. He thought it was the prostitute he ordered, but that doesn't change the fact that he assaulted someone. Yexing stopped him. He didn't just lay there and take it, hence the scar. Afterwards, he chose to forgive Raman. Normally that wouldn't be enough for me and I'd still hate Raman. I've dropped stories for less. But Kenny, Caleb, Mr Gordon, Raman's bed mates, and everyone else who knows about it has forgiven him so I've chosen to accept Yexing's decision and feelings. During the 4 years since that happened, anytime Raman was going too far, Yexing continued to stop him. Pulling his hair, hitting him, running away, etc. If Yexing really couldn't say no, he wouldn't have resisted Raman for those 4 years. During the first time they had sex, when Yexing got tired and needed Raman to stop, he bit his tongue. He didn't just take it. Yeah, they had sex for a week straight, but that wouldn't have happened if Yexing wasn't okay with it. Recent chapters are making a point to show that. Yexing is only allowing Raman one round of sex a day. He stopped him and his making boundaries firm. Raman is respecting that. Sure he messed with Yexing as they were going to bed, but Yexing stopped him and that was it. He was only being playful. Him rubbing on Yexing in the last chapter was him being playful as well. It's not my kind of playful but it's his. Yexing wasn't bothered by it. Just embarrassed because Devon was there.

They don't have a conventional relationship. They never did. I would say it's more on the lines of Dom/sub, where the absolutely uninhibited Raman pushes the limits of the completely reserved Yexing to see what he can get away with, and Yexing draws the line and stops him when it's too much. He does it because he knows Yexing is going to stop him. It's okay not to agree with it. That kind of relationship isn't for everyone. I completely understand you hating Raman. I'm just hoping you understand it's not a rape-fest between them.

Finally someone who read the story with adult understanding of their relationship.

I'm not OP, haha. I guess I get your point (and your reading of the story, everyone is allowed a different reading, really sorry I came out as rude), but to me it is still rape. Especially since there was a scene where Yexing said he wanted to stop but wouldn't because he was scared to not be enough for Raman. I don't really like the idea that you have to kick/hurt someone to make them stop SA you, and that if you dont you're conscenting, but that's more on this author than anything else. I have no doubt the author doesnt think it's SA and didnt want it to be read that way, but to me it still is because it would be in real life. I'm also really shocked by scenes before their actual relationship started (the handjob, the actual rape where Raman was high). For the later, I dont hold Raman accountable, but I think it's a poor choice on the author (not on Yexing) to make their relationship happen even with that. I think we both agree it was SA anyway. For me, the handjob was especially bad because Raman promised he wouldn't do something like that again... and then continued to make sexual advances on Yexing. I love BDSM relationships but to me this isn't one really. Again, no issues if you read it that way, I'm glad you can enjoy the story. But my interpretation of the story is different, and I don't think it's Yexing being a victim (which is interesting in itself, as the feelings he has towards Raman push him to accept things he would rather not accept, even if he's more than strong enough to stop him) but the author making poor narrative choices (I also think Kenny/Lou has issues). Thank you for replying in such a nice tone even if mine was rude, I enjoyed reading your interpretation even if it's vastly different to mine. I'm glad to finally be able to disagree politely with someone, haha.

I know you weren't the OP. No worries. And I understand why you see the story that way. I, too, agree that Kenny and Lou's relationship isn't perfect either. We won't even get into the developing relationship of Owen and Durant lol. I just wanted to give you a proper response instead of doing what I've seen others do, and attack or belittle someone for having a different opinion. I could argue confirmation biased in saying that you're using one moment of Yexing expressing doubt to pass judgement on everything that happens between them. Equally, you could argue confirmation bias with me saying I'm hiding behind the fact it's a period piece with my thought that current real world understanding of rape doesn't apply to period pieces. You agree that BDSM can be great, but I'm sure you also agree demanding consensual nonconsent, tattoos, or other permanent body mods to prove true submission is absolute garbage. But there are those who believe if both parties are okay with it, then it's okay. So yeah. I support you hating Raman. He's nothing like Isaac. Isaac is the story's serial rapist... but Raman's definitely made mistakes. Either way, I'm glad we could have such a pleasant disagreement :)

I agree with you on a point for sure : Isaac is way worse than Raman. He's an actual groomer. Glad we can all hate this guy together. And I absolutely hope Owen and Durant don't end up together or I'm gonna cry.