EXACTLY THIS. It's so underwhelming to see abuse disguised as romantic chemistry. Also sometimes the shit they write is so impractical overall.
Yeah, this genre is tend to go into violent and abusive shit, but portraying it like real deal and it feels like author of In the Doghouse made something revolutionary, because it's actually fun to read
Also the only casual romantic bdsm I know is The Sensual M, and that's it ._.
Omg I was actually expecting people to argue with me but it's so refreshing to see other peeps Get It!!
Romanticizing abuse leaves such a bad taste in my mouth, and it's in so many stories
Yes I am so happy with doghouse!!! I wanna kiss the creator they are a genius(with consent of course) and if they don't want my kisses they can take my money , my car, just keep writing omg
I haven't read that yet, I'll try it tyyyy
I'd heartily recommend it, tho it's PG . However, because of that, they explore more of the psychological side of dom/sub relationships and such. It's really good!
PREACH!!!
Oooo that totally sounds like my cup of tea!!!
I could say more about how much I has the misinterpretation of bdsm in literature.
The ones that try to pass on human trafficking, with the obvious Stockholm syndrome victims and their kidnapper/buyer
The quite literal power imbalance between two people where one person life/livelihood is in jeopardy
No mention of safe words or boundaries or communication of what they want to do
Not stopping when the other says no(in a situation with no safe words)
What else am I missing?
I know I'm missing something else that is an overused trope that is frequently passed on as bdsm and isn't
I totally know what you mean--I feel like this all started with Fifty Shades of Gray, where they slapped a BDSM label on straight-up r*pe and abuse and it's just gotten worse from there :(
Yes Omg that garbage really was the start of it!
I really cannot stress enough that real bsdm is between people of relatively equal footing.
Both have power in the situation that they are participating in, just in different ways
Totally different than the trash that are shoved down people's throats pretending to be bdsm
E X A C T L Y
Oh, also, the almost ENTIRE lack of the concept of aftercare in these stories??? UNACCEPTABLE (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
OMG YOU GET ITTTTTTTT
LIKE AFTERCARE IS LIKE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PARTS!
ITS ONE OF THE MOST BASIC OF RULES!
side note, sense we share such similar interests and views can i follow you and become mutuals?
Yeah, sure! I'm not super active on the social aspect of the site, but I'll follow you as well (lol, don't be scared away by my reading lists, I've got guilty-pleasure stuff on there and lots of things I haven't read yet that may wind up being problematic )
Oh, I just remembered! While certainly not perfect, two of my BDSM faves that are much more accurate to what BDSM is *supposed* to be are Ang Ang (aka Hard-Boiled Love) and Blood Bank! Both are MxM, I'd definitely recommend giving them a read if you haven't already! XD
omg blood bank my love! the amount of times i have read that is definitely over 50 lol.
that was such a masterpeice!
i haven't read ang ang before though, gotta add that to my 1000+ want to read list lol
But all I find when I try to search for similar things
All I get are toxic
Toxic
Toxic
Toxic
Major toxic(she almost kills him)
Toxic/rape
0 consent to be seen
Toxic(he tries to kill her)
One sided enjoying
Toxic(person A swears not to do it anymore and be a "normal" person OR person B forces themselves to participate in these situations bc they don't want to lose their partner and basically is in pain the whole time, mentally/emotionally/physically)
Oh thus one looks promising, let's try i-- nope nope nope nope that is a crime, A CRIME. HUMANS RIGHTS ARE BEING VIOLATED
Please author, artist, and creators in general
I'm begging you!
Please learn the bdsm, fem dom, doms/subs is not the same as abusing your partner
And maybe add a lil comedy in it, bc sex isn't perfect, and sometime you need to chuckle bc of mistakes bc that's human
It's like they never even bother to research the thing they are writting the story about.