being a gay potential (still unsure) csa survivor myself I feel like it goes deeper than just desire.
to start off with, there is already a blatant first reason for female rape gratification being less tolerated - it will be triggering more people. not only are the primary consumers of manhwa (or at least this website) women, but women are also... obviously the one more prone to being sa'd. of course, this will not end well.
but it goes deeper than that; because even just turning the rape from mhw to mhm can actually just downright near completely erase sensitivity from female victims. sometimes, they might not even realize because most rape in yaoi is not exactly easy to notice... unless it has That Artstyle.
statistics after statistics (though absolutely zero research has been put on male sa victims for whatever reason) and things suddenly start to make sense. it's not just lust, it's also about history and other things.
(also real quick drop I legit see people complain more about bl noncon than straight noncon which like. okay oops I guess the sample bias is strong in this one. shocking.)
Everyone being like "wtf this is so horrible omg (╯°Д °)╯╧╧"
While reading about men getting raped, Somehow that's different and casual. How can you freak when this site your on is mostly rape? When what's trending is just as bad, but with men.