I don’t think it’s pity. I’ve been rereading this and I’ve realized Skylar already had feelings for Cirrus he just didn’t realized it because he closed off his heart.
I don’t think he truly liked Chan-il, he was simply safe to be around. He was able to somewhat have what he once had with that piece of shit so called friend he had. It was more infatuation than actual feelings.
My heart feels for both of them and I hope they’re able to reunite and talk things through.
Although their trauma is different, their fears are the same. I wish I could explain it better but they both don’t want to be hurt. They both don’t want to be rejected for being who they are.
To Skylar , if Cirrus ends up hurting him, at least he didn’t open up and allowed himself to be vulnerable, it’s like an I told you so.
To Cirrus, for the first time ever he opened up and showed who he is. Although Skylar never changed, in his mind he’s expecting him to walk away at some point. He’s expecting an I told you so.
They are both scared.
I wish I could explain things better but I hope it’s understandable.
I’ve been crying here because I feel so bad of Cirrus. He just wants freedom and to be loved but he’s so heartbroken and insecure that he keeps saying and doing the wrong shit. And then there’s Skylar who is still can’t open up to Cirrus (And frankly, I think that at this point, he pities Cirrus more than he likes him) And then there’s our endless string of misunderstandings .
('m exhausted from seeing Cirrus hurt and desperate. I hope that in the next chapters, the roles reverse and Skylar ends up chasing after him)