AHHH

Please tell me girl got the bottom freed or happy end I can’t read anymore it’s only getting worser

WHAT SHE SAID

Short answer.... (SPOILERS)















FUCK NO (if you want actual spoilers I don't mind dming you)

Yes please do

(NOVEL SPOILERS)



.







.





.


Seo haeyoung literally burned, poured boiling hot water on hawon, broke his bones and did worst shit like drowning too. All because he was pissed off that taegyem or something took hawons virginity first. And did all that torture shit to stop him from escaping him and even ruined hawons vision a bit and made his skin so fragile, as soon as u touch it, it will break and bleed or something. Near the ending, Hawon suicided or something by jumping off a cliff infront of haeyoung but he survived actually. Haeyoung found him and then hawon went to the hospital I think and was diagnosed amnesia, causing him to forget everything. The wounds he suffered from haeyoung were labeled as “caused by suicide” but in reality haeyoung caused those wounds. Also another part is that hawon would refuse to forgive haeyoung after doing all that crazy shit to him and haeyoung threatened to take his own eye or something (FYI this was before hawon tried to kill himself). Anyways near the end, Haeyoung soon acted kindly and not psycho and crazy to hawon (cause hawon lost his memory) and kinda moved past all the crazy shit. They lived happily ever after.

(more detailed spoilers from a post I found)
























Besides that I know one scene of taegyem the other asshole kinda ditching hawon cause he was dirty and shit and saying rude things to him. hawon dyed his hair black and was so bruised with his skin peeling off causing taegyeom to be “disgusted with him” and taegyem saying that no one would want him cause of how he looks.

so anyways, Haewon goes back to taegyeoms home and it was said that taegyeom never really invited people over to his house like haeyoung(always letting ppl come to his house while taegyeom isn’t like that). After they go back to his house they fuck and haewon stays there for a long time and taegyeom would still attend university like usual. Taegyeom would often come back and bring haewon meals but haewon would not eat them and taegyeom would reply by saying “u want to starve to death?” Haewon has a hard time working up and appetite and would vomit even if he didn’t eat nothing. Hyunwoo would go over to taegyeoms home as well and would fuck haewon. Sometimes taegyeom wouldn’t know they have sex but he knows hyunwoo is over cause they were well... close. And hyunwoo still into his choking fetish and would often choke haewon... he would say “sorry” and stuff but he’s just horny asf. Anyways, taegyeom would come home and sometimes him and haewon would have sex. This went on for a while. A lot of sex but no hitting and smacking like what haeyoung would do. Just choking from hyunwoo which is probs the worst. They did threesomes as well I think? The translation is so choppy that I’m not exactly sure. Haeyoung while haewon was at taegyeoms home was spamming calls and text messages sm, saying “are you gonna do this?” One day, haeyoung was calling and at night where everyone was sleeping. Haewon picked up the phone and decided to talk to him after a few weeks/days of not seeing him after escaping the bathroom? The translation on google translate were super choppy so I couldn’t understand some parts well...

This part I’m not exactly sure but haewon was still in taegyeoms house, I’m not sure but haeyoung showed up and smacked the shit out of haewon. And saying “how did u get out” (meaning how he got out of the bathroom that day when the door was locked), and haewon replied with “it just opened” and haeyoung kept repeating the same lines and same goes for haewon kept saying “it just opened.” In the end haeyoung ended the convo with saying “I don’t think so” and beat the shit out of him and raping him, making his booty hole bleed. Haeyoung was mad the fact haewon was having an “affair” meaning sleeping with other guys (taegyeom and hyunwoo), haeyoung always thought they were dating and thought haewon was cheating on him. After he almost k*lled haewon while having sex I forgot how but it said that haewon almost died from having sex with him cause of intense force and stuff. Haewon said to haeyoung “I don’t like you anymore, go die bastard” to haeyoung which served him right. Taegyeom came and saw and tried to stop haeyoung. Eventually haewon was knocked out for a long time.

Haewon continued staying at taegyeoms house and hyunwoo as always would come to taegyeoms house just to see haewon. Taegyeom had midterms so hyunwoo would be there to usually company haewon. Haewon and haeyoung eventually made up I think. And haeyoung said to haewon “let’s start over and go back to how we were like before, as friends” and that’s how they made up after that incident. I forgot but some major scenes were when they were all at the restaurant where hawon worked (Lee heesung, taegyeom, J guy, and Seo haeyoung). They were celebrating something but I forgot and Seo haeyoung and haewon were sitting on the table with j guy. And j guy started the convo with “why are you so attached to haeyoung? Is it cause he gives you money?” Referring to haewon. Haewon said “ask haeyoung”. And when haeyoung was raising glasses are whatever, haewon SAW THE SILVER BRACELET and his resent flowed in after. The day it was haeyoung birthday where haewon was humiliated, shitted on, insecure, out of place and raped. Haewon felt the resent from the bracelet and tried to take the bracelet from haeyoung but haeyoung was playing around with haewon and not letting him have the bracelet. Haewon was so frustrated when haeyoung didn’t give him the bracelet. The convo went like “it’s mine” -haeyoung, “give it back, it’s mine, pls give it back” -haewon. Haewon was never so reactive about something which peaked j dudes interest. And that j dude slammed haewons face on the table. Haeyoung therefore stood up for haewon and splashed water on j dudes face. And threw glass at him which made a cut on j dude. Hyunwoo and his sister (owner of the restaurant) was trying to calm down the situation down which ended with j dude leaving. Haeyoung was told off by hyunwoo and his sister by trying to control himself next time. Everyone was cleaning up while haewon went to the warehouse. Later haewon was cleaning the warehouse and taegyeom was suddenly there to sexually assault him while the party was still ongoing. Haewon was resisting so hard and hit a shelf with a box of glass and the box of glass fell on taegyeom. Everyone came in and taegyeom went to the hospital and had a fractured arm I think. Haewon was having like a panic attack cause he thought he was gonna go to jail and started begging haeyoung to help him. Taegyeoms father was very involved with taegyeom and would be so mad if he got hurt and tried to hunt down the person who hurt him. Taegyeoms dad was trying to see what happened and tried to use the cameras in the restaurant warehouse to see what happened. haewon was so scared cause he thought they would see him and taegyeom doing sexual stuff. But lucky for him the cameras were not working so they couldn’t see that. Taegyeoms father in the first place didn’t approve of haewon cause he was an orphan and broke.

Haewon never visited taegyeom in the hospital and eventually taegyeom left the hospital and confronted haewon abt it. Haewon continued having sex... it’s like a daily thing-, I forgot some parts so I’m not sure.

Hyunwoo eventually made a passport for haewon and hyunwoo confessed his feelings to haewon, saying that he was sorry and to return his feelings while crying to haewon. Haewon didn’t respond to his feelings and hyunwoo said that he would go back aboard eventually and that he would like haewon to come with him. He told haewon that he would treat him well while they were abroad. Haewon didn’t respond to his feelings but agreed to go aboard with him. Haewon eventually started packing up stuff and his house and grabbed all his stuff and packed it in a suitcase

haewon finally got to the airport and was making second thoughts and choices and going to the airport was a whole new experience for him. He eventually made last second thoughts and left the airport and ran away instead. Hyunwoo was getting on the plane was trying to find haewon but haewon was nowhere to be seen. He even asked the flight attendant if they have seen him but everyone did not see him, hyunwoo was even thinking of leaving the plane but he didn’t and left the country and went aboard again. Hyunwoo came from a fairly wealthy family.

Seo haeyoung and taegyeom found out haewon was missing. Seo haeyoung went to haewons house and searched through the house, saying “where are you, come out and I won’t be mad.” He searched all over in the house, every crack in the house. He even asked the neighbor (this old dude) and the old guy said that he saw haewon packing and leaving with a suitcase in his hands. Taegyeom later pulled up and tryed to find haewon in the house too and haeyoung and taegyeom started beating each other up for haewons disappearance. Taegyeom threw the first punch. And they were just fighting and swearing sm.

haewon ran away and took the bus where he went to a near by town and was staying at a motel again, he thought of staying by a hotel at first but he wouldn’t have enough to get by after(I’m not sure if this thought was true cause I forgot and might of mixed this thought with another manhwa I’m reading lol). Haewon had a fair good amount of money with him, that would last him 2 years I think. Later this went on for a few days and one day he went to the convenience store to buy some snacks and he saw an old co worker he knew when he worked at his last job before working at hyunwoos sister’s restaurant. I forgot that dudes name but let’s just call him “co worker”.

co worker guy and haewon was catching up and then he sparked the question of staying together which haewon decided to after. Haewon Wanted to change his appearance so he dyed his hair jet black with the help of the coworker guy. Haewon didn’t want the others to find him. I think they stayed in a motel or coworker’s apartment I forgot but I’m pretty sure it’s an motel. They would stay together like roommates after. The coworker guy decided to call haewon “hyung” since haewon was older then him.

meanwhile, on haeyoungs side was haeyoung felt a sense of loneliness and found old tapes of haewon from high school days and would watch those videos. He replayed those videos so much time. And he would smell haewons clothes but the longer he smelled them , the scent of haewon slowly faded. He would often have hallucinations of haewon at first. And kept telling himself that haewon would come back since haewon couldn’t live without him.

taygeom on the other hand was also upset with haewons disappearance And would distance himself from his friends. Lee heesung(the guy who looks like haewon), was really confused how everyone (haeyoung, hyunwoo, taegyeom) were all acting weird and strange lately. Like how haeyoung keeps saying weird stuff, taegyeom never responding to texts and hyunwoo never even spoke after leaving to study abroad. It was all weird to him.

Haewon on the other side, his coworker roommate was secretly stealing money from him(not sure, translations were off lol). And the coworker dude using haewons watch that was given to haewon by taegyeom (I think but the watch was valuable), and was often wearing it without haewons permission. Haewon noticed it and called him out and the coworker responded with “I was just trying it out hyung, I’ll put it back.” The coworker always thought haewon was rich while they were working together before and still thought of it now, haewon was always wearing nice clothes and shoes and went to a private school (haewon had these luxuries since haeyoung was financially backing him up). Later when haewon changes into new clothes, the coworker would notice hickeys or bruises and scars on haewons body. It left the coworker thinking haewon was a prostitude. The manager of the motel would also join them as well for beer and stuff. The manager was like in his 40s. He and coworker dude would often gossip about haewon. Haewon and the coworker would discuss what they should eat and stuff, like pizza and choices and they became pretty good friends. But later, it would also get abusive since the manager would hit haewon for making lousy mistakes.

Few days, it was winter. Lee heesung was driving his car and he noticed someone who was under dressed for winter with jet black hair(wearing a tshirt and shorts with no shoes in winter). He later noticed it was a friend of haeyoungs from high school. It took Lee heesung a while to remember haewons name. Cause they weren’t close but he always remembered haewon who was kinda pitiful(cause of the day of haeyoungs bday where haewon was getting bullied). He ran over and asked haewon some questions and gave him shoes and his coat to keep him warm. Haewon didn’t seem to remember Lee heesung, I think in this scene haewon was high on drugs or he was drunk but he was mentally not ok. At first it didn’t seem like it was haewon cause of his changed look but Heesung later brought haewon into his car and when heesung turned his head, haewon was gone. Like bro ran.

Heesung anyways kept thinking EVERYONE was acting so weird these days, especially haewon and was concerned cause he was covered in bruises too when he saw him.

Heesung later called or went to his house (I forgot) taegyeom and told him about haewons situation. And finally after days of taegyeom cutting off, taegyeom started speaking to him again after talking about haewon. Taegyeom only seem interested if haewon was talked abt in the conversation. It was then on, heesung and taegyeom decided to find haewon in the little town they last saw haewon in. I forgot to say but heesung saw haewon in a town where he use to belong to, that’s why he went there in the first place.

Seo haeyoung on the other hand had sm connections and asked his older sister Seo gayyoung to find haewon. Which she did with the help of investigating throughly. She knew where haewon was staying and town he was in. Seo haeyoung knew where haewon was but didn’t make a move cause he wanted haewon to go crawling back to him. Since haewon couldn’t live without him.

Haewon on the other hand was often drinking with his coworker and the manager. Manager was very violent and would soon make sexual hints to haewon. Haewon wanted to leave but his money was gone. I’m not sure if his coworker stole it but the translation was off and my memory isn’t very good.

Anyways, haewon one day was sent out to get alcohol for the manager and the coworker. And he went to get alcohol at some place. While taegyeom was in his car with heesung strolling around the small down trying to find haewon. Before taegyeom would have a lot of hallucinations of haewon was well as would often mistake other ppl as haewon. But when he got to an alleyway, taegyeom saw a boy with jet black hair. And thought it couldn’t be haewon but when he saw his face, it was indeed haewon. Taegyeom ran out his car and started chasing haewon. Haewon realizing who it was started to run away but tripped and bruised his knees while the alcohol was rolling on the floor. He slowly picked up the alcohol with pain. They lasted caught up and spoke to each Other .

Haewon therefore proceeded to say to taegyeom, while showing his scars and bruises all over his body and said, “look at me, I’m dirty now, you wouldn’t want to sleep with me. I’ve changed and I’m not the same as I used to be.” Taegyeom finally talked to haewon and said sorry to him and apologized and felt super guilty. He said to come back with him and stay with him in his house but haewon refused and said this is where he belonged and this place would now be his home. Taegyeom leaned his forehead onto haewons chest while haewon wrapped his arms around taegyeom and stroking his back. They stayed like that for hours I think. It was until haewon stopped and told taegyeom to go home. It was also the time the manager came and said “what is taking so long” ( referring to the alcohol and why it took haewon so long to come back with the alcohol). The manager hit haewon in the face really hard and taegyeom saw all of it and taegyeom was grabbing the manager by the shirt and they were like kinda fighting. Haewon said stop and told taegyeom to just go home. Taegyeom eventually did. Haewon referred to taegyeom as an “old friend”. They eventually got back up to the motel which they continued to go drinking. The manager eventually starts sexually assaulting haewon and haewon was obviously against it. He called haewon a prostitude as well. The coworker would defend haewon but would sometimes get hit in the face by the manager.

Haewon soon later, after a few days during winter runs out of the motel from all the sexual assaults he faced by the manager. (this entire runaway thing went on for 1 month, starting from the airport to now). But while haewon was running on the streets, he bumped into haeyoung... . At the same time he was relieved but scared asf. Haeyoung probs hit haewon again (I forgot). Haeyoung and haewon later catches up but haeyoung goes back with haewon to the motel where haeyoung beat the fuck out of the manager and starts beating up the coworker as well. They were beat to a pulp, haewon shouted not to hit the coworker since the coworker helped haewon sm. But haeyoung doesn’t give one fuck. After he beats those two up, he proceeds to rape haewon in that same exact room where the manager and the coworker was unconscioused in. He later takes haewon back to his house

when haeyoung took haewon back to his house. It gets often repetitive like constant hitting and rape. Heesung the guy that looks like haewon one day came over to their house. Haewon who was making noodles for haeyoung (before heesung came). Haewons vision was already so fucked so when haewon was preparing the veggies he had a hard time cutting them up. Like he was cutting a carrot but they were often unequal cause his vision was so fucked. Haeyoung was also bothering him while haewon was cooking the noodles which caused haewon to mess up the noodles even more. When haewon was done the bowl of noodles (he cooked one or two i forgot), heesung showed up to haeyoungs house and he came in and they all sat at a table. Haewon told haeyoung to eat the noodles but haeyoung refused to. And they were bickering right in front of heesung, saying who should eat the noodles. The noodles were described as very uneven and the soup was bland. Heesung eventually said he would eat it and saying he would “eat well”. Later heesung and haeyoung was talking about school. Haewon was left out on the conversation, again feeling like an outcast. Haewon eventually left the table and went upstairs to the bathroom. Shortly after heesung followed along and saw the bruises of haewon. He was asking a bunch of questions saying how did he get those and if haeyoung did them. Obviously haewon denied them but heesung always had a gut feeling haeyoung did it. Shortly after heesung left. And it’s the same repetitive stuff... rape and smacking in the face just pure abuse. Later when haeyoung was out; heesung would show up to haeyoungs house everyday to see haewon... asking him a bunch of questions and trying to uncover what really went down. They became friendly with each other overtime but haewon still held the grudge of getting replaced by him. The same days went on... rape and abuse when haeyoung was home and heesung would show up to talk with haewon when haeyoung wasn’t home.

There was a scene where heesung went to taegyeoms house and asked about haewon. And asked if they were close and taegyeom was so confused why he’s asking all this stuff. Heesung was saying how he saw bruises and signs of needing help from haewon. Taegyeom was like how do you know that and heesung revealed that he experienced the same situation. He was raped and beaten before. Same position as haewon so he felt sorry for haewon.

And everyday continued heesung would come to haewons house everyday when haeyoung was not home. But haeyoung soon started catching on and was doing mean stuff to haewon. For example, rape ofc and one scene where haewon got haeyoung a cup of coffee and haeyoung spilled the coffee on the floor. Like knocking it off the table. Haewon was confused but went to grab him another coffee but haeyoung did the same thing. Haewon was confused and asked him why and started cleaning it up and haeyoung was like “did I ask you to clean this up?” (Ps I’m not sure if it’s this part, cause there was a scene I mentioned before that haewon had a passport and wanted to go to Bali to escape and would google it on haeyoungs computer but haeyoung eventually found out cause he forgot to clear the search history, and did the coffee spilling thing. I’m not sure cause I forgot, ps he wanted to go to bali before he ran away the first time. It was the same time when haewon was still debating to go with hyunwoo to go abroad, but that Bali scene between haeyoung and haewon went like “u wanna go to Bali”-haeyoung “if you wanted to you could of said so”) anyways back to the present, haeyoung is being a little Bitch and proceeds to rape again but he broke his ankle . And again one day heesung came but this time haeyoung came back home earlier than expected. And heesung was hiding in the closet in the mean time. And haeyoung came and was like “who are you trying to hide haewon”. “I won’t let you have an affair” and proceeds to rape haewon while heesung was in the closet so he could technically hear everything like the moeaning and stuff and there was beating and shit. Eventually haeyoung opened the closet which revealed heesung and haeyoung was telling heesung to rape haewon too but heesung didn’t. And haeyoung went like fucking crazy “you ruined your life heesung” and I forgot but heesung was trying to help but left cause of shock(I’m not sure if this part of true cause I forgot and the translation of google translate is ass). Eventually just rape and bullcrap constantly and smacking. This lead to haewon saying how he wants to go home and how he doesn’t wanna stay at haeyoungs house anymore. Which haeyoung allowed him to go home but would ofc often visit him. He would buy him food but haewon overtime developed and eating disorder. So he would like Puke everything out he ate. Haewon became so skinney, like you could see his bones and was very unhealthy.

From there on, haewon decided he should run away and he tried but always failed. This scene is the scene of the prologue where haewon was escaping and bro got hit by that golf stick and raped again. Just Sm rape over and over again. Just more and more rape. Smacking and ankle cracking, confinement in the basement sometimes. Leaving haewon and not coming back for a long time. And would go on “dates with him in public” and would leave him on the date alone and not coming back for a few hours. Haewon would have depression and do self harm and tried to kill himself by slitting his wrist in a bathtub. Or slit his wrist and bleed to death by lying on the bed. Haeyoung would just ask why but didn’t seem overly affected by haewons self harm. I believe there was not one moment where haeyoung felt a sense of guilt of his abuse. Just crazy shit and eventually one day Haeyoung took haewon back to the villa of taegyeoms cause that’s where their shitty relationship with everyone started. Was in this villa. I think haeyoung tried to drown haewon along the lines here but there was one scene taegyeom came and tryed to help haewon out. But eventually haewon attempted to run away but fell down a hill. Like he rolled down a hill. Both haeyoung and taegyeom saw I think and this was in winter I’m pretty sure cause the word “cold” was often used by haewon. They tried to search for haewon but they couldn’t find him. And haeyoung was obvi affected and would do his weird shit again and would watch videos of haewon back from high school.

Before haewon ran away the first time (like the hideout with the manager and shit), haewon burned all the photos of himself before he left like pictures of himself. If it was like a group photo, he would often scratch or burn off the picture of his face only. Kinda removing the trace of himself. On one photograph on the back there was a message complimenting haeyoung. (I’m not sure if this scene is the present rn or when he first ran away... MY MEMORY IS KILLING ME IM SORRY GUYSS ), fyi in the first runaway, haeyoung knew where haewon was cause of his sister but didn’t choose to find haewon. While taegyeom went to find haewon and tried to help him. That’s the difference between these two. So taegyeom is better.

The present was like taegyrom was just straight up shocked and couldn’t believe it. Eventually hyunwoo came back from abroad and came to haeyoungs house saying “hawons dead??!!” And he punched Haeyoung in the face. And he started crying after.

Haewon in the meantime fell down from the hill and landed on a Boulder like on top of it and his bones were broken and there was a small river stream. It took him so long to get up cause it hurts like a bitch cause haewon was in sm pain at the time. This old man and ki-tae ( the man who will take haewon in) , noticed and asked to call the police and hospital but haewon refused to I think. They eventually took haewon in to their small village. They were at the location of the villa so it wasn’t in the main city. There were more small villages near by. They helped haewon and asked him if he can call his family and hawon said he has no family. They pitied him and took him in. Mainly ki-tae who was in his 30s. He acted like a guardian towards haewon.

there is a 1 year time skip after. Haewon slowly recovered. Some villagers disliked haewon but haewon kept working hard. He did the cleaning and taking care of the home while ki-tae was out. Haeyoung on the other hand started having hallucinations about haewon and would still think of him every day. The story soon drifts taegyeom and hyunwoo out of the picture so it’s mainly focused on haewon and haeyoung after the 1 year time stamp.

Haewon eventually meet haeyoungs older sister Seo gayyeong who was the one who helped haeyoung find haewon in the first runaway arc. She was here for business and told haewon she won’t tell anyone where he is and offered him money. After some conversations haewon eventually accepted the money to help out ki-tae, cause kitae did sm for haewon. He was never mean to haewon and treated him well. Gayyeong eventually left and left her business card too, she gave haewon a card which has Money on it and she said she would add more money to it every month. Btw haeyoung eventually started working after the time stamp.

Haewon just starts helping out with ki tae the house. He would visit the other old man sometimes. Haeyoung who now works is currently a professor I think? I don’t remember but I’m pretty sure he was working during that time. He wanted to be a professor tho. He would still have hallucinations of Haewon and he would find comfort in his hallucinations. He would be dreaming haewon was stroking his hair and stuff. Haewon on the other hand was trying to forget everything and start fresh, he still had a soft spot for haeyoung but yknow wanted to forget him cause that dude is batshit cray cray. I remember that haeyoung went to the villa again (I think) trying to remember haewon and how everything first started. He would go to the cliff where haewon jumped off from and would look at the river stream below. He would still get hallucinations of haewon. Suddenly haeyoung heard “go share the watermelon with the kid, ki tae!” (Referring to share the watermelon with haewon since haewon was living in ki taes house). He walked by a nearby town haewon was in. Haewon who was picking up essentials for the house with ki tae and saw haeyoung and begin having trouble breathing from the shock and ki tae would try to help haewon calm down his rapid breathing. Shocked to see haeyoung there since the place they were at was in the countryside and it was a small village. Haewon left the place running and ran back to the house? Haewon didn’t go out of the house for a very long time after seeing Haeyoung among the crowd of villagers, he was just so stunned to see him again. And everything haewon went into the backyard he would find a chocolate candy, it seemed like someone was throwing chocolate in the garden. And every single day there would be new chocolate thrown in the yard.

Haewon eventually saw and umbrella and it was raining that day. He left the yard and saw a strange and figure in the alley way. He eventually took a flight of stairs and saw someone facing the sea and they were holding a black umbrella. The person he saw was haeyoung and he was smoking. Haewon ran away as fast as he can and went in the house. Ki tae was not home so it was just him home. I’m not sure but haeyoung barged in the house and said “you are really fucked now haewon, you really can’t live without me now.” haewon was in the closet (like when they first played that sketchy hide and seek game like when they first had sex), he found haewon and pulled him out the closet. He was kissing haewon sm that blood started coming out. Playing with his nipples and said when everyone thought he was dead but said he knew that haewon was not dead like everyone else thought he did. And told haewon to breathe cause haewon was shocked asf and asked haewon if he missed him. Haeyoung said that he was waiting for haewon for a very long time and missed him sm. He said he thought about what he did and started saying he was sorry. He said he did what he did since he was “sad and so damn sad”. Haeyoung said he wanted to reconcile and make peace with haewon. Haeyoung told haewon that he wanted to “not see him” in his hallucinations and dreams but kept seeing him and that lead him to nonstop thinking of haewon. but told haewon to forgive him. Haewon didn’t say anything but I think he didn’t want to(I’m not sure if he said it but he didn’t wanna forgive him), haeyoung who kept telling haewon they didn’t see him for so long (maybe 2 yrs) started to believe his hallucinations were still fake cause he couldn’t believe he found haewon again. He kept asking haewon to forgive him and haewon wouldn’t respond to him which kinda meant he didn’t wanna forgive his ass. Haeyoung begin to slit his wrist With a blade and his arms and cut his wrist UP like super deep. Haewon was obviously worried cause he still cares for him but just didn’t wanna forgive him. Haeyoung kept asking for forgiveness and said that he would cut off his hands and stuff and fingers off and said to haewon “would you forgive me then?” Haewon said “no no no no I don’t like it!”, in one scene haewon did refer to haeyoung as sir since he doesn’t see him as a close person to him anymore (not sure if it’s a translation problem or if this is truly true but he did call him haeyoung after).haewon called the hospital and ki tae came back cause it’s his house. And haewon was asking for help cause his “friend” slit his wrist. They eventually went to the hospital where haeyoung had his arms and hands he bandaged up and he needed stiches. Haewon eventually visited him in the hospital and it was kinda sad in this scene, haewon noticed that no one visited haeyoung in the hospital. His friends (cause haeyoung was so popular) or his family didn’t even show up cause they were too busy, no one visited him except haewon. Haeyoung eventually woke up and he raped haewon and choked him since he was confused why he didn’t forgive him (I think) and they talked a bit.

Haeyoung was tryna be nice to haewon. Haeyoung would be like “kiss me” and Haewon wouldn’t respond. Haeyoung would be like “fine I’ll do it myself” or something. Haewon would soon respond with “its very hard being with you.” And haeyoung would not respond since he didn’t wanna hear those types of responses. Haewon would obviously notice that but changed the subject and said “I’m hungry” and haeyoung would be so happy since it was a type of response he wanted to hear and would be like “what do you want to eat?” And Haewon would be like “anything just not hospital food”. And haeyoung left even tho he wasn’t discharged yet and would go and get haewon some food. When he was out haewon would roam around the hospital and saw kitae, he was there waiting for haewon. They talked a bit and exchanged phone numbers since Haewon didn’t have a phone before. Haewon did have a phone before before but shut it off to disconnect his life from those bastards. He wrote the number on his hands I’m not sure or he memorized it, I’m not sure. Haeyoung showed up with the food and looked so awkward in the crowd of people and started getting angry when haewon was talking with someone else.

So Haeyoung decides that Haewon should call Kitae and like shoves the phone into Haewon's face. Haewon erased some of Kitae's number off his hand cause he was panicking so he forgot Kitae's number but Haeyoung after seeing it like once of course remembers it perfectly cause he's a psycho. Haewon slaps the phone out of Haeyoung's hand and Haeyoung's all like I thought you would forgive me if I did that and is all confused. He starts strangling Haewon and demands that he tell him what to do for Haewon to forgive him and Haewon's thinking about how Haeyoung's impulses and determination are always conflicting with each other. Haeyoung tries to force Haewon to smile by raising his mouth with his hands. He says "Smile. It's nice to be with me." But whenever he lets go of Haewon's mouth Haewon goes back to crying so Haeyoung keeps repeating forcing Haewon to smile, trying to correct him but of course Haewon doesn't smile. Haeyoung gets tired and then goes to the window and literally bashes his forehead on it until it's bleeding. The reason why he did this is when he burned his hand fake Haewon was smiling so Haeyoung thought that if he injured himself Haewon would smile again. Haewon freaks out and tries to make Haeyoung stop and Haeyoung gets confused again asking him "why? I'll try to understand." And Haewon doesn't understand why either. Haeyoung's disappointed that Haewon didn't smile in fact he cried even harder than when he was being choked. Haeyoung finally admits to Haewon that he was wrong and ruined everything like calling what he cherished dirty and all of the other abusive stuff he did. He hates that he wasn't the one who took Haewon's virginity and he doesn't want to let go of Haewon even if he changed. He tells Haewon "I want you to be the same as before. Can't you love me?" And he buries his ear in Haewon's chest and hopes that Haewon's quick heartbeat is because of him.

So after that fiasco they try to move on from what happened cause they're not ready for that conversation yet but of course they still remember it. After Haeyoung gets discharged from the hospital he leaves with Haewon and is trying to make the atmosphere normal asking him questions like "what do you want for dinner" and "it's nice to take a long break, right?" and drives him back to the village which is called Anbyeok-ri. Haewon obviously panicks cause he thought they were going home and Haeyoung says that he thought he would like it. After they arrive they're greeted by Hwang who was one of the people who helped Haewon and they settle in their new home which looks exactly like Kitae's house which was definitely intentional on Haeyoung's part. They get visited by this dude that hates Haewon but likes Haeyoung and that's because Haeyoung actually paid them. Haewon also doesn't have a pair of shoes btw. Anyway Haewon's sleepy so while Haeyoung cooks who's terrible at it Haewon rests nearby. Unbeknowst to Haewon Haeyoung was thinking of hitting him with the pan hard enough so that he gets amnesia but decides against it cause he might accidentally kill him like he was actually aiming it at Haewon's head. He tells Haewon he's done cooking and they eat. Kitae visits and gives Haewon some food. Haewon tries to put in the kitchen but Haeyoung asks where he got the food from and he's acting all jealous and everything. Haewon says that it's from the neighbor and Haeyoung calms down. Haeyoung drags Haewon to the bed and says that it's just like in the past whenever Haeyoung visited Haewon's house they would sleep on the floor together. Haeyoung's trying to have sex with him but Haewon tries to avoid it by asking Haeyoung what happened to his job and Haeyoung says that he said he's sick so his job is fine and he's all happy probably cause Haewon's actually talking to him. He tells Haewon that he'll take care of him and that Haewon doesn't need to do anything as long as Haewon doesn't lie and betray him. Haewon feels suffocated so he keeps thinking of leaving so when Haeyoung falls asleep Haewon sneaks out and grabs like a random pair of shoes. He sits on the bench and waits for the bus which comes every 2 hours but when the bus arrives Haewon doesn't get on. He keeps making excuses like he needs to say goodbye to the villagers but it's really because he doesn't want to leave Haeyoung. At some point Hwang finds him and asks him to come help him with the house and Haewon agrees. Haeyoung wakes up and Haewon's gone so he's freaking out again he says that he won't get angry so come out quickly. He leaves the house and asks the villagers where Haewon is. By the way the villagers think that Haewon and Haeyoung are brothers despite looking nothing alike. The villagers tell him where to go and he's running frantically searching for Haewon eventually he finds him and then calms down just from looking at him. Haeyoung helps fix the house and Haewon's all stressed out because he knows Haeyoung's mad. After they get home Haeyoung asks Haewon why he didn't wake him up and Haewon said it's cause he didn't want to disturb him. Haewon thought Haeyoung was mad and thought he was gonna hit him, but instead Haeyoung dumps a bunch of petals on his face and reminds him to never leave him again.

As time passes Haewon gradually loses his will to escape. One day the villagers ask Haewon and Haeyoung to come and drink with them and they decide to gamble and play games. Haeyoung keeps losing so he asks Haewon for help during the game Haewon actually LAUGHS because he was having fun with the villagers but then immediately stops when he locks eyes with Haeyoung who's smiling. They keep drinking and Haewon has a lower tolerance than Haeyoung so he's completely out of it while Haeyoung is fine. Since he's drunk Haewon's more bold so he asks Haeyoung why he's pretending to be nice and Haeyoung says he's not pretending and that he's acting like his old self. They go home and because Haewon's drunk he can't resist Haeyoung who rapes him. During sex Haewon regains conciousness and freaks out trying to get Haeyoung off of him and severly scratches Haeyoung's cheek which makes a scar and Haeyoung actually loves it cause it's the first time Haewon ever injured him. Haeyoung asks Haewon if he's still angry and Haewon is losing it because he can't believe he hurt Haeyoung so he stops resisting. They keep going at it and Haeyoung comments on how similar they are now and keeps asking for praise, he also says that he wishes they were actually brothers so they'd always be together. At some point Haewon passes out but Haeyoung's still fucking him and then Kitae enters the house bringing food for Haewon and it's full of Haewon's favorite foods so Haeyoung gets extremely jealous. Haeyoung goes out to greet him acting all passive agressive and Kitae asks where Haewon is so Haeyoung says that he's resting because he's sick. Haeyoung goes back inside the room and Kitae is able to get a quick peak inside. He sees Haewon's clothes but not Haewon himself but he does notice the smell of semen. Haeyoung goes to the mirror and literally digs his fingers into the wound; he goes to Haewon and puts his head to his chest hearing his hearbeat and he's so happy cause this Haewon is actually real.

After the sex Haewon doesn't wake up cause he's actually sick and during that time he has nightmares about his experiences. Haeyoung takes care of him by feeding him pills. One day Haewon wakes up and he's watching TV with Haeyoung and he actually sees Lee Heesung on TV playing golf. Haewon freaks out when he sees Lee Heesung and thought about his past; Haeyoung comments that it was unfortunate that he didn't kill Heesung but that he probably won't have much of a career thanks to his injured shoulder. When Haewon passes out throughout the day cause he's only awake for a short amount of time Haeyoung literally rapes him. One day Haewon wakes up and sneaks out when Haeyoung tells him that he'll be out for a little bit. He goes to Kitae's house and finally confesses the truth about everything that happened to him. Kitae doesn't say anything and Haewon thought he would feel bad after saying all of that but he only felt relief. Haewon tries to go back home but vomits on the way there; while he's stopping to take a breather he sees Haeyoung come back and also witnesses his meltdown when he notices Haewon's missing. Haeyoung runs out to try and find him and doesn't spot Haewon so Haewon tries running out of him but his body is all messed up so he's severly behind. He eventually spots Haeyoung who's at the beach and the villgers told them that the beach is really dangerous so Haewon's really worried; he tries to scream Haeyoung's name but he can't hear him cause Haewon's throat is also messed up. Eventually Haewon catches up to Haeyoung and he hugs his back. Haeyoung grabs Haewon's hand tightly like he's trying to confirm Haewon actually exists and then the craziest part happens. While Haewon hugs Haeyoung he literally holds Haeyoung's head into the water and FUCKING DROWNS HIM. Like Haeyoung's struggling and Haewon keeps apologizing and then Haeyoung's completely still. Haewon freaks out and keeps apologizing; he wants Haeyoung to wake up and him and he misses him so much and regrets killing him and then guess what bitch cause THIS MOTHERFUCKER COMES BACK TO LIFE and then beats up Haewon. Haeyoung's super angry and sad because Haewon betrayed him and keeps asking Haewon why he hates him. I'm just gonna dump a bunch of quotes cause this is my favorite part of the entire volume.
"If you don't love me then...what should I do. I love you. You make me so happy. What do you want me to do?"
"I'm scared Haewon. I'm afraid you died back then and now I'm living with something strange. I'm so scared."
"I don't know how much I loved him. I think I loved the smooth cheeks, the nose that wrinkles when he smiles, and the redness of his ears when he blushes. I think I loved his short height that forced me to lower my head slightly to make eye contact, and the body that was not dry (?). It seems that I loved the light impulsiveness and proportional comfort and stability given by Yoon Haewon." I LOVE THIS QUOTE BECAUSE IT IMITATES WHAT HAEWON SAYS ABOUT HAEYOUNG.
"Please love me. You can do it. It's not difficult."
"When Haewon tapped his cell phone I wanted to take it and throw it away. I wanted to delete all the numbers on his contact list except for mine and only mine, and I wanted to be the only person he would ever communicate with. I was wondering what kind of people he talked to and what kind of life he was having while working for his tuition. As I hovered around I called Haewon who never called first and I didn't know what I wanted even when I visited him. I just waited quietly. The time I waited without knowing what I was waiting for, I think it was probably love." ALSO MY FAVORITE QUOTE FOR THE SAME REASON.
"You know...can't you just let it slide? Please bear with me. It's possible. You keep saying you want to die, but I want to die if you do. You can't live without me. I can't live without you either."
"I wanted to date Yoon Haewon."
"Haewon saw the lowest and most weak form of Seo Haeyoung, who forcibly opened his skin and tore the tender flesh." This is referencing the scar Haewon gave him.
"I'm sick. I'm tired, Haewon."
"As if Seo Haeyoung did not know how to apologize correctly, Haewon did not know how to be cold-hearted, and the two did not know how to go back to the past."
"I'm sick Haewon. It hurts Haewon. Come to me. I'm the only one...Haewon did not go back. Thus he abandoned Seo Haeyoung for the first time in his life."

After Haeyoung beats up Haewon and has a breakdown Haewon runs away to Kitae's house and Haeyoung doesn't chase after him surprisingly enough. Haewon keeps having nightmares about Haeyoung killing Kitae and burning down the house and that makes Haewon worried so he goes and visits Haeyoung. The house is a total mess and there's glass everywhere; Haeyoung's unconcious on the floor and his hands are even more messed up than before and he also has a fever so Haewon's crying while looking at him and then goes and takes care of him. Haewon's begging for Haeyoung to wake up and sleeps next to him but he has to go home before Kitae wakes up. Haewon can't stop worrying about Haeyoung so he visits him everyday to see if he's taking his medicine. One day while Haewon's tending to Haeyoung Haeyoung wakes up and he can't even open his eyes but he's rubbing his face against Haewon's palm and then whispers to Haewon,
"Oh, he's here. I've been waiting. I haven't seen you."
Haewon thinks to himself that the last time Haeyoung's gotten sick was when he was a child so he can't distinguish between dreams and reality so his pain is lonely and unfamiliar. What Haewon didn't know was that Haeyoung was waiting for Haewon to come back at the beach until dawn broke and then waited at their home for 2 days. The reason why he didn't go after Haewon is since he can't let go of Haewon Haewon can't let go of him so Haewon will come back; it's the same reason why he didn't go after Haewon back then when he ran away and was living at that crappy apartment. While he's waiting he's suppressing the urge to literally burn down Kitae's house and kidnap Haewon so Haewon's nightmare was actually accurate. But after 2 days Haeyoung got impatient so he tried to atone by listening to fake Haewon and cut himself which is why he was really injured when Haewon visited him. Haewon misses Haeyoung and he hasn't been able to sleep well at Kitae's house so he sleeps next to Haeyoung again. When Haewon returns to Kitae's house he forgot to clean his feet so now Kitae knows he's been sneaking out but doesn't ask any questions about it. Haewon goes back to Haeyoung and tries to assess his feelings for Haeyoung by pretending that the sleeping Haeyoung is like the old Haeyoung, so Haewon kisses him again and again trying to feel that same excitement as back then whenever he secretly kissed Haeyoung but he doesn't get it. He keeps thinking about how Haeyoung's begging him to love him back and how that's Haewon used to feel about Haeyoung so the roles are reversed. But then Haeyoung wakes up and starts kissing him back and they make out and then Haewon shoves him off and runs away.

The next day in the morning Haewon spots chocolate in the yard and it's obviously from Haeyoung because he's done this before. He then spots Haeyoung who's smoking and Haeyoung greets him, but Haewon quickly runs away. Haeyoung catches up and tackles him but instead of beating him up he just tells Haewon he forgot something and gives him a coat that's actually Haeyoung's. Haeyoung then tells him that he told Hwang that he and Haewon are dating but he's just joking. Haeyoung would throw chocolate into the yard almost everyday; later Hwang gifts Haewon some dried persimmons and Haewon secretly gives it to Haeyoung with the excuse that he's just watching out for his health. Haewon runs away because he doesn't want Haeyoung to see him but Haeyoung does anyway. He keeps the box of persimmons and looks at it whenever he gets sad. This waiting game continues for a while. There was this one time when Haeyoung threw a book behind him and it accidentally hit Haewon who was secretly hovering around him so Haewon makes Haeyoung's favorite expression and then runs away. Haeyoung thought it was really cute so he stacked 3 pieces of chocolate as an apology and was glad that Haewon came back.

Some time passes and when Haewon goes to visit Haeyoung again he's gone; he took the car and left. Haewon FREAKS out and asks everyone where Haeyoung went, and Haewon's basically acting like Haeyoung whenever Haewon goes missing. Haewon wants to take the bus to go see Haeyoung but Hwang tells him that because winter's here there are no buses. Eventually Haeyoung comes back and the villagers tell him that Haewon misses him. Haeyoung's happy that Haewon misses him and goes see him and Haewon literally rushes out to see him looking all sad. Haeyoung reveals the real reason why he left and that's because he went to give Haewon a birthday gift (which is today on Christmas!) Haeyoung throws a snowball at Haewon and urges him to throw one back. Haewon realizes that he's the type of person who can't live alone no matter how cruel the people around him are, which is why he tolerated his abusive father and now Haeyoung and acknowledges that his relationship with Haeyoung is probably fate and Haewon just gets so angry. A bunch of snowballs are thrown but most of them miss and Haewon doesn't understand why he's so angry, but really it's because he loves and hates Haeyoung. Haewon starts crying and Haeyoung asks him why he's crying and they have a conversation with each other. Haewon asks Haeyoung a bunch of questions and Haeyoung answers back. The topic of going back home to Seoul is brought up and Haeyoung agrees but they can't go back yet cause the snow is too heavy. The reason why Haewon wants to go back is because Anbyeok-ri made him feel weirdly towards Haeyoung because there are no items to trigger his bad memories so he ends up sympathizing and loving Haeyoung again; Haewon thinks that if they go back Haewon can hate Haeyoung again. Haewon's all conflicted with his feelings for Haeyoung because he doesn't want to and can't forget about his abuse but he also loves Haeyoung, and he's just desperately clinging on to his bad memories which are beginning to fade away as time passes.

Haewon moves back in with Haeyoung and Kitae's disappointed but doesn't do anything. He wants Haewon to be free from Haeyoung but it's not like he can just force Haewon to do something he doesn't want. Haewon feels guilty for letting down Kitae and goes back to Haeyoung. Since the snow is too high they have to wait for it to melt before they leave and while they wait they face each other on the bed. Haeyoung doesn't do anything and just waits and Haewon finally initiates for the first time and they have sex. It's a really beautiful moment where both of their injuries are mentioned but also ignored. The past is fading away and they can finally begin to move on. When the snow finally melts all the villagers go to see them off. Kitae is still upset but he still sees Haewon off, gives him a bunch of gifts, tells him not to come back, and leaves. The villagers tell Haewon that Kitae's only being cold because he got attached to Haewon and doesn't want him to leave. They wave goodbye and tell them to come back one day. They drive back to the house where Haeyoung abused Haewon and this is the moment of confirmation for Haewon to really assess his feelings. They go inside and Haeyoung shows Haewon that traumatizing basement and Haewon has a mental breakdown. He's imagining the past with Taegyeom and Hyunwoo when they were all happy and when Haeyoung wasn't injured. Haewon begins destroying everything. Ripping blankets and breaking plates because he wants to go back to the past, getting rid of all the bad memories by just destroying the place where it all went wrong until eventually he runs out of things to break. But there is one thing left to break which is Haeyoung himself. If he kills Haeyoung maybe he'll finally wake up from the bad dream he goes to hit Haeyoung but hesitates and Haeyoung starts crying and says that it's okay to hit him and begins slapping himself. He tells Haewon to hit him and folds Haewon's hand into a fist and puts it to his cheek and starts pressuring him to do so holding his wrist tighter and telling him to hurry up, but Haewon can't stand the idea of hurting him. Eventually Haewon gives in and hits Haeyoung on the cheek with the scar and keeps doing it. He tries to stop but Haeyoung holds his waist and doesn't let go. Haewon wants Haeyoung to take responsibility for destroying both of their lives and realizes that it's impossible to return to the past and get the old Haeyoung back. Even when Haewon's suffocating Haeyoung with a pillow Haeyoung doesn't fight back, he just endures it. Haewon gets tired and lets go of the pillow and just drowns himself in self hatred. He realizes he truly can't live without Haeyoung and asks Haeyoung to explain his behaviour and Haeyoung says:
"Haewon. It's very obvious to me. Ignoring calls, not coming when I ask you to come to play, and not listening. As long as you don't do these."
That's his answer as to why he did all of his abuse and why he didn't resist when Haewon tried to suffocate him a pillow. Haeyoung's just playing with Haewon's hands while he's speaking and Haewon's still confused so he asks Haeyoung if he loves him and Haeyoung smiles and says:
"It's so good. I love you so much that I want to kill you. I wish I was the only one. I wish you weren't able to move, I wish you weren't able to do anything. But I'm going to hold back those desires because I love you so much. I'm holding it in because I really love you. So be thankful, Haewon."
And Haeyoung just smiles shyly after saying that and Haewon starts crying so Haeyoung starts gently kissing him and says:
"We're fine, okay? We're okay. We've loved each other since a long time ago. Everything is normal."
And Haewon's just nodding to everything Haeyoung's saying and then makes a distorted smile like a person who forgot how to smile and cry and Haeyoung starts smiling brightly too. Haewon confesses his feelings and says:
"Me too, I love you too. I'm scared, I want to die, but I love you. I hate you and I love you."
Haewon knows that Haeyoung hallucinates him when he's gone and believes that injuring his own body is atonement. But he knows that Haeyoung will never sincerely repent even if he died.
Haeyoung: "That's right. We loved each other ever since we first met."
Haewon: "I shouldn't be like this but I love you so much."
Haeyoung: "There's nothing wrong with you Haewon. It's just that I love you so much. I'm sorry."
And then goes it on saying that Haeyoung can't really be held completely accountable for what happened to the relationship and that it's also equally Haewon's fault. Haeyoung repeats that it's going to be okay that they're going to be okay and Haewon begins feeling happy and smiles for real.
Haewon: "Is it really going to be okay? You love me, right...?"
Haeyoung: "Yes, everything's going to be okay. I'm sorry that I was too late to realize that I loved you all the way back then."
And Haewon has a big smile on his face and he just hugs Haeyoung who's covered in scars of atonement. Haewon knows that life is still difficult but that they have to keep moving forward and eventually heal little by little. They laugh together in the midst of destroyed houseware.
"The sounds that were mixed together and was unknown whether they were laughing or crying were trapped in the cellar containing the past. In our little house where the door is always open but you can't get out. There was no way out of the dilemma of long ago. So now it's time to start a new game. A game with no winners or losers until the end."

THE END

Listen, I really dthe first spoiler and the second spoiler is just so fucking long but I read the last quote and I'm like .

I don't know, I have an exam in like 3 hours, my addiction to mangas came over and made me read all my updated mangas and bro, i- this- nuh uh, this is just nuh uh, worse than killing stalker, if this doesn't get famous by the end of it, I don't know what other mangas will be worse than this, cause without a fought this mangas is worse than killing stalking.

Non Zero Sum is way worse than killing stalking, the novel was so much more graphic with Haewons abuse I had to take 2-4 days break just to get back into it.

It really knows how to give hope to Haewon just to crush it immediately and when Haewon "died" I remember just crying because how emotionally wrecked I was reading it

so... if you want to read it for emotional purposes this is good

but overall its just a really unfortunate detailed story from an abuse victim (I'm guessing the novel just portrayed that)