Holy shit no offense but certainly DID NOT expect it to be that long lol
i just felt like yapping peoples ears off... (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
I just read comments because a person recommended this story. I know it took a lot of courage to share something so personal. You’re right about everything. Human emotions are so complex. My mom raised me and my sisters with a constant adage……Don’t judge anyone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes. She wanted us to know that there’s a reason people are the way they are and until we know their story, we have no right to judge them. Yes, we can walk away if it’s more than we can deal with, but over time, because I worked on it, I’ve found out truths about people that have shocked me. People I thought had everything, were in a living hell. They put on masks everyday for everyone they met, just to get thru life.
I’m going to read this story with your words in my mind. Again, thank you for baring your soul. You sound like a very intelligent, understanding person. You have what it takes to pick up the pieces and move forward with your own strength. I hope for the happiest of futures for you.
Tell me how it goes for you while reading! ヾ(☆▽☆)
Will do
I just finished Ch 10, where she’d just woken up after being shot and found out she had a miscarriage. At this point I can’t form an opinion on either of them. He was obviously tortured from a child by a tyrannical monarchy. She was sheltered, given everything, yet still was left alone all the time and never taught anything about the world outside her home. She never knew even parental love. Her glass cage was shattered when she saw her father murdered in front of her.
Right now I see two people traumatized and emotionally stunted. She clung to his love because she never had that before, even from her parents. She refuses to believe, deep down, that it was never real. She’s much stronger than she knows. She refuses to commit suicide and she can endure so much hatred and isolation.
He clings to her for the same reasons. I feel he’d like to believe he was using his training as a spy to infiltrate the enemy, but I think the reality is he also found the only beauty, innocence and love he ever knew in his life. So he’s in a constant battle in his mind. I think he’s only able to continue the charade, convincing himself he only used her, due to his torturous spy training.
Just from the hints of what he went thru made me think of the Borne Identity movies. The horrors they put Jason Bourne through until his mind broke, submitted and then thoroughly brainwashed…….except he was stronger than they thought and his ingrained morals broke the hold they had on him.
That’s all for now!
- I mention several sensitive topics, so please be aware while reading. If you ever feel uncomfortable immediately click off ^_^
The debate of whether ignorance could be considered a sin or not is quite complicated. Which is fair considering it is a topic based on humanity itself. But honestly even if it was a sin did we deserve what we were put through? As I read this manhwa it makes me think on my own life. And how I am honestly jealous of our main character.
It's weird to say that you are jealous of someone who is quite literally in total misery. But I see herself in me, but in a weird way she receives everything I didn't. Perhaps I am like the other characters in this media who are against her very being. Although honestly I don't despise her and I do wish for her to be happy, yet I am still so envious of her.
I feel very biased while reading this, as all I can think about is my own life. In a modern sense of course ^_^. So perhaps this comment I make will feel rather lacking as compared to the other readers. Yet I do want to express my feelings. As the complexity of humans and their feelings is a constant theme shown in this manhwa.
And the complexity of my emotions stem from my experiences in life, which is honestly not special as that is simply how humans work. My mother was the one who primarily raised me, and somehow I managed to grow up to be ignorant and demanding. Despite her unusual affections and punishments that she gave me.
We were not in the safest situation of course, contrary to Annette's home situation. Yet I do not envy or blame her for that, as how could she have controlled that? Nor was I able to control how I was born, or how I looked so similar to my father.
I suppose there is many differences between the two of us, but the principle is the same. We both didn't realize how miserable our life was due to our ignorance until it was too late. But there never was a 'too late' moment for us, as it was already over for us the second ww were born. Honestly our biggest similarity is quite silly now that I think about it...
Our misery and our ignorance were connected.
We couldn't have controlled where we were born, and we both didn't properly understand our situation. Was it our fault? I suppose many reading this would say it wasn't, yet we both blame ourselves for our ignorance. As we were both being punished for an ignorance we couldn't control.
Childishly enough, my envy came from the way the one who was punishing her felt guilt when she finally tried to end her life. When I first tried to overdose, my mother caught me in the middle of the act. she didn't say or do anything. And when I unfortunately woke up the next day, I got beat for sleeping too long.
Maybe I am envious of how she wasn't followed with constant abuse, how she had someone who expressed grief when she tried to die, and how she was never touched or hit. Although I know if I was in her life I still would be just as miserable as I am now.
Could it be how she still ends up with her happy ending? Of how she was able to forgive and learn how to be happy. How her body is healthier compared to mine. How she was just as miserable as me yet she still managed to find happiness.
Truthfully I am envious of her strength and of how she is cared for. Honestly I refuse to say she is loved by the male lead, as no love should ever be that painful. Yet I understand and can see how he cares for her. And it makes me want to sob.
I also had a miscarriage yet nobody cared, I myself couldn't bring myself to care. Maybe that is why we are in two different situations. I am a bad person who couldn't even love their unborn child, while she did love that unborn child.
Seeing how the male lead manages to be so neglectful yet caring, reminded me of my mother. She managed to love me so much yet hated me just as much. Yet I can't hate her for how she has ruined me, because she too is human. I just wanted her to care for me, like how the male lead did for Annette.
Everything about humans is complex, our emotions are irrational. And that is the sad thing when it comes to the cases of victims.