I don't get it why everyone is so pissed at ml.. nothing is more hurtful then ignorant per...

I agree

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In the same way that you can't blame her for her father's actions you also can't excuse her ignorance because of her father. At this point in the story, she is just an ordinary noble woman. During the french revolution, the common people and middle class were against nobility as a *whole* for a reason. Place doesn't excuse ignorance.

I whole heartedly agree

I think the issue here is that Ignorance very obvious isn't as wrong as say murder and torture of people or lifelong domestic abuse, its simply ignorance. Obviously what FL said to ML at his movement to vulnerability was clearly tactless, ignorant, incredibly hurtful and stupid but she still didn't deserve to be shot over her ignorance, she still didn't deserve to be in a verbally abusive and neglectful marriage over it, and definitely doesn't deserve to live in place where she is surrounded by nothing but hatred and where all her pain is minimised due to crimes committed by her forefathers that she was ignorant of.

she had clearly lost everything her fathers crimes had got her in her life like her status, money, opportunities or even her parents even before we get to the first chapter, I would think that itself would be considered an appropriate enough punishment for her ignorance. Anything more than that is clearly disproportionate.

What ML went through is absolutely horrible but he is clearly projecting all his hurt and complex feelings on the FL because she is simply an easier target and also because the person he idolised as an goddess turned out to be an ignorant teen, its easy to hate and blame rather than self reflect and acknowledge your own flaws. Funnily enough FL actually does self reflect over her flaws while ML has lived in the same emotional state since he first talked to FL even after their marriage falls apart.

I mean I agree but imo the point of *all* of this backstory was to show that ML is not of a mentally sound mind. At this point of the backstory, ML doesn't really have any egregious flaws other than having chose the wrong thing to idealize during literal torture and all of his friends dying lmao like ofc you try to keep some kernel of humanity in your brain, he didn't really have any other options.

While it doesn't excuse his later neglectful actions towards FL, it explains them pretty succinctly.

Also imo
The FL doesn't even truly self reflect until quite a bit later, she really only sees the strife of the people and why they hate her with the assassination attempt (she realizes and understands more in the post split arc). Like she knows they hate her, but doesn't reflect on why.
Like shes changed because of the neglect and her family dying, of course. But remains ignorant for awhile nonetheless.

But thats not to say, that I don't like Annette.
I like our FL a lot. I think both characters are represented realistically and empathetically. I'm still of the mindset if the FL and ML were flipped, there would be more of an equal sympathy for both parties.

Yes I feel the same the fl now just knows about one incident.. after the neglect she got from ml and she lost everything she is depressed but still she didn't try to find out or understand what's the reason and what happened to ml.. she is innocent I knw but she is too innocent and ignorant

I kind of understand what you are trying to say but I disagree with the point that FL only understands the situation during and after the split arc (even though I do agree that she gains a deeper understanding of the situation while being directly confronted by a crime by her father rather than a vague gist) because even in the manhwa there is a scene when she is confront by the marriage candidate of the ML where she clearly says that she respects the cause
https://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/my_beloved_oppressor/uu/nml_chapter-5/pg-1/ . And her donating anything she ever owned throughout her marriage is also another indicator that while she might not have a indepth knowledge of what exactly the ML faced, she still clearly tries to support him and the people effected by the atrocities of her father and the reign. I think if would be a disservice to all her efforts if we say she understands nothing until she is shot.

Also it's not that I don't have sympathy for what the ML went through but I also do think he deserves to be blamed for the current bad situation of their relationship and even her mental health. Him hating her back then is justified, him dragging an abusive and neglectful marriage while he could have very easily divorced her after his marriage had served its purpose for the revolution is definitely his fault. In a way he is responsible for the fact FL has no autonomy and freedom and exist in this world that has nothing but hatred towards her, anytime she confronts him about answers he refuses her, anytime she confronts him for divorce he refuses her. He basically wants to maintain her and this toxic relationship as a monument of his hatred, pain and love. He in a way in a contributor to her ignorance because he wants her that way, he wants her to an constant unchanging entity for him and this is why he is surprised to see her change and surprised to see her donations over the years because despite his efforts she has changed and while she might not know all the nitty gritty things each and every victim of her father went through, she still understands enough to try to help in her own way even if it is limited. I guess in a way what I want to say is that her ignorance is not like a light bulb which got switched off after being confront by Katherine over the direct crime of her father,its a whole process, a journey in a way, its something she has always been trying change even in the current hostile environment she finds herself in but because those efforts are not in the foreground that they are easy to miss.

I think thats totally fair and I appreciate your time writing this :)
When I said she didn't understand it until quite a bit later, I think you and I are still on the same page. Her donating her stuff was definitely an indication of self reflection (though at the same time, also giving all of her belongings away is also strongly tied with her suicidal actions). I wasn't meaning she didn't understand until the split, only til later did it set in more. Like was it the neglect that caused her to reflect because she no longer saw herself as her anymore? Was it the assassination attempt? I think it was a lot of things. The efforts were for sure there, and we will for sure see more. It still just took awhile. I think she wanted to change and be a better person sure, but it took her awhile to reflect on why (we kind of see this in her first interaction with ml). Which is a common ignorance seen in affluential people in general even today. That's at least how I read her earlier characterization :)

Yeah and with how mentally compromised ml is, I'm sure he had one metric of change for her and when he didn't see the change in that metric (her understanding of the people), he just wrote off her whole self. So for sure, no one is winning lolol

Thanks for the reply, Yeah I think you are right and we are basically on the same page. Honestly I really like the depth the writer gave to her characters and the complexity of their emotions, it makes discussion like this very interesting.